Friday, February 27, 2009

Setting Expectations

After thinking about it for some time, I've come up with a list of what I look for or avoid when looking for BF, based on both preference and experience. See if you're eligible =P

I like it if:
1. You're humble and down-to-earth. It's refreshing to meet someone who doesn't have his head up in the clouds. It automatically makes me feel comfortable being around you and talking to you.

2. You're responsible. I've dealt with a lot of irresponsible people in my life. So, I don't wish to have an irresponsible BF. You'd just drive me up the wall.

3. You're honest and sincere. Both are important to create trust and keep things clear. Be honest about your likes/dislikes, your expectations, or if you think something is wrong. Constantly hiding or lying about things will just breakdown the relationship sooner or later. (Of course, I don't expect you to be so blatantly honest to the point of hurting someone's feelings.)

4. You're not afraid to be yourself. It's the real person underneath that I want to get to know and fall in love with, not some fake personality mask you put on socially to impress.

5. You can think maturely. I like a person who can think logically, sensibly and responsibly as an adult. Sure, I like to be have fun and laugh. But when there's an issue or problem, it's time to get serious. I want us to be able to discuss freely and support each other in solving problems and making decisions in the relationship. I don't want to do it alone.

6. You're good-natured. I'm comfortable and enjoy being around someone who is positive, cheerful and amicable.

7. You're easy to talk to. To me, good communication is the cornerstone of a great relationship, right up there with honesty. If I don't feel comfortable talking to you, can't seem to connect with you, can't express myself (I do this a lot) or feel that there isn't much for us to talk about, then I don't think we will go anywhere. Good communication builds chemistry, understanding and clarity in the relationship.

8. You are caring and willing to compromise. I don't care if you're richer/poorer, younger/older, top/bottom etc. The most important thing is that we know how to compromise and take care of each other EMOTIONALLY and PHYSICALLY. A relationship should held together by both sides, not just 1 person.

9. You have a great sense of humor. I like to joke around, be loud and have fun. It'd be great if you're the same =)

10. You're romantic (added advantage). I'm a hopeless romantic. I like to show my affections when we spend time together. I like to celebrate our special times and events.

11. You can speak good English (added advantage). Oklah, as a 'banana' and being a disgrace to the Chinese people, English IS my strongest language and one that I'm most comfortable with. Hence, if you can speak and understand it well, I'd definitely be interested.

Please stay away from me if:
1. You're arrogant and think that you're too good for anything. I don't care if you're bloody good-looking, extremely smart or talented, or richer than Bill Gates. I hate a stuck-up with a superiority complex who thinks he's better than everyone else.

2. You're very shallow and judgmental. I believe that EVERYONE is shallow, but the level of shallowness is a different thing. If you're so shallow and only like to judge someone based on their appearance or enjoy belittling someone based of their physical flaws, go look in a mirror first and don't bother meeting me. I don't enjoy being ignored or ridiculed behind my back.

3. You're always childish. Don't get me wrong, everyone has an inner child they wanna let out once in a while and that's perfectly fine. What blows is when you want behave childishly most of the time by being unreasonable and throwing tantrums.

4. You want your way all the time. If you think just because you're the better looking one or the more sought after one, don't bloody expect me to do all the work alone to keep the relationship afloat. Firstly, it just goes to show what you think of me. Secondly, you'd just make me feel crappy and more like a slave than a BF. Learn to compromise or take your DIVA butt else where!

5. You're bitchier than Janice Dickinson. It's fine if you're bitchy just for harmless fun and laughs. But if you're a super bitch who genuinely likes to talk bad about other people except yourself and stab people behind their backs, just.....SHOO!

6. You personify the expression 'Me, Myself and I'. Don't bother with me if you're selfish and think only about yourself. You don't need me, you can love yourself just fine.

All in all, I just wrote might seem like an interview, but I'm just setting my expectations. Don't feel intimidated one is perfect and this is just a guideline =D


Anonymous said...

OMG!!! Searching for a bf also got guideline now. What's next? Buku panduan coming out written by you for any future guys who wanna date you to read is it? Lol...

Mark said...

LOL Calvin, I've seen a few bloggers do this, so I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon.

Like it says in the title, just setting expectations XD

Anonymous said...

Well, I think like I'm 'quite suitable' for you but my weakness is sometimes I'm quite moody. ;P

Anyway, I'm so far away from Malaysia so to be happened is very less chance... ;P

misterclueless said...

well we finally have the latest recruitment of the newest member of desperate housewife, mrs. markthepooh.