Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Do I Find It Or Let It Find Me?

A good friend of mine recently commented here that I shouldn't go out looking for love, but instead just let it find me. Let's face it, I'm not getting any younger (just turned 28 in November last year). He's almost a decade younger than I am, and definitely much better looking. He's young, attractive and can afford to choose whoever he wants. He CAN afford to wait. I don't have that luxury. When I was younger, I used to think that I just needed to wait for love to come sweep me off my feet, until I became a pimple-faced fatso in my late teens right up to my early adulthood, before I changed myself. Right now, unlike him, I don't have the age appeal and I never had an attractive outlook to begin with.

So, being older with very little physical appeal, I think it's logical that I HAVE to be the one looking, not waiting. Besides, what if I waited my whole and nothing ever happens? I don't wanna live out my life and later wonder what could have been if I had put more effort and did things differently. On the other hand, trying too hard sometimes will only succeed in making you look desperate. I tell myself to just go with the flow occasionally, but I get tired of it when the flow takes me nowhere. It's one thing to sit and wait for something to happen, it's another to go out and try to make it happen.

I know this doesn't really apply when it comes to the love game, but I can at least try. Even if I never find it, as disappointing as it would be, at least I know that I did something about it and not just sit around waiting for the stars to fall at my feet. Believe me, I'd really love to kick back, relax and just wait and wait and wait for the right person to come by. But, I don't have the luxury of appeal nor the luck in love that you have for that to happen.

What about you? Do you think that we should go out and find what we want, or just leave it for fate to decide?

8 comments:

Calvin said...

Whether if you go out to look for it or wait for it to comes, my advice is not to rush into it.

cookiedonut said...

if it's your's, it's yours... it'll fall upon you no matter how...

so... just be patient :-)

misterclueless said...

well see, not that i always wanted to pin point on u, u r just rushing things up which always ended up like this to u..
if it urs then its urs, why making a fuss out of it? whats the big deal?

u cant live without a guy? hey, c'mon, we dont need anyone to pay for us lah? we have our own bare hands to work for it, for every single thinsg we wanna buy... why bother so much now? its not that e beg for food from others rite? so just go with the flow, dont think too much bout it n i bet ur guy is soon to come!!!!

AMITABHA

Kevin TCP said...

Hhmm... For me I will WAIT haha:D..
But after turned to 28 yo like you, I will be like you = searching for someone ;P

misterclueless said...

well hey guys stop encouraging him to go look for someone else like he is so desperate for one, no one needs anyone to live lah....
well if u cant find a bf then just go find a fling, one week, two or three weeks, its better, no attachments no nthg, u just go n release ur stress....
pls lah, u r not that bad to get someone la...

Mark said...

Kevin: Exactly =)

MC: Well, I'm not someone who likes to fling around. I want something more solid. I admit I might have screwed up the last 2 relationships by jumping into it too fast. I'm learning as I go. If I'm not that bad, then I guess I just have no luck.

I understand your point that we don't always need someone to make us happy. It's more important that we're happy with ourselves and that person can just add to that happiness instead. People do things differently. You might be more suited to wait, while I'm a go-getter.

misterclueless said...

then no point saying anything now i guess. we will just wait n see how u will turn out to be then... i am not trying to be rude, its just a piece of advice from me, and i think my bro will say the same thing to u too, but since u wouldnt listen i couldnt be bothered to tell u anything further... its a waste of my time....

David said...

I would go and get the guy I want, or I will always be wondering "what if, what if, what if....". Like what if we both like each other, but we're both waiting for each other to make the first move?

Go to it Mark! I totally support you 100%