Summary of May

Honestly, May sucked! I've been having some difficulty expressing myself or writing down my thoughts, emotions and perceptions. I think the late nights at ungodly hours are finally getting to me. I feel as if my brain's functional capacity has slowed down due to increased sleep debt and being too involved in a singular activity, which is gaming. I have to admit, I haven't been out and about as much as I should, and I'm not as involved in my life as I should be right now. Too much gaming can do that to ya. Sleeping at ungodly hours and maintaining almost permanent brain fog. You know it's freakin' late, or should I say early in the morning when the birds start chirping and you can hear people downstairs setting up shops to prepare for morning market crowd!

I skipped gym for a week since I sustained last week's upper back injury and lost a kilo to boot. Time to pump it back up. I've been eating a bit more crap (my 20% foods) than I should too. I guess I haven't been eating enough too, coz I kept eating and eating while I was resting. Sure, I watch my portions and what I eat MOST of the time, but sometimes it feels great to let loose and throw caution into the wind. I don't eat too much, but in reality, I have an appetite that would rival Godzilla's. The fear of an expanding waistline is what keeps my ferocious appetite at bay. Health-wise, not very good too since I sustained 2 injuries and got sick a coupla times, which very rarely happens. Yes, I'm proud to say that I can go for an entire year without getting sick, coz I eat and live right!

Mum had problems with income tax, which needed numerous trips to the office for clarification. Those inefficient goons (c'mon, I know you're thinking it too, when it comes to government organisations) filed the files wrongly (they filed it under my dad's name, who's been unemployed for more than 15 years), after checking her records back to 16 years, because mum triggered them to pay her the amount that income tax owes her. Apparently, the 7 year IRB tax ruling doesn't cover audits, so they can check back AS FAR AS they want if you arouse their suspicion. I know mum is a die-hard believer in paying everything on time, so I'm on her side the whole way. It's a good thing they didn't penalize her for late payment, but instead of them owing her about RM 2K+, now she owes them that amount, apparently unaccounted for from year 1993-1996. It's a friggin' bummer, but we can't really do anything about it. This couldn't really come at a worse time, since my younger sister has just started college and budget is TIGHT!

I haven't been dating anyone too, just random outings with friends. I've kinda stopped looking, just wanna focus on myself and enjoy myself for a while. If someone happens to find me, then I'll see how it goes =)

Getting My Life Back Together Again

I'm terribly sorry for the lack of updates this month. I've not been posting as frequently as I should. Lately, I'm been having brain fog and feeling blur, and I can't think of much to write about. It's been a tiring few weeks and it's entirely my fault too. I've been indulging TOO MUCH in late nights and have been sleeping at ungodly hours, thanks to my addiction/obsession with WOW. The extreme gamer in me MUST be quelled. I need to moderate my gaming time and spend more time in the real world. But, sometimes WOW seems so much better than the real world. Damn, the nerd in me MUST die too.

I feel as if my life is a mess right now. I have a bad habit of slacking off and procrastinating from time to time. I tend to leave things hanging or tasks pile up so high until it threatens to fall on me, crushing me along with some added guilt. Then, I will suddenly go into hardcore industrious mode, clearing everything all at once and feeling incredibly productive afterwards. One of those moments is catching up again. I can feel all the stuff piling up again, be it chores or personal tasks.

I've not been out and about lately too, but I'm about to change that. In a way, WOW is there to keep me distracted from feeling lonely or thinking too much. But, it's a double-edged sword as it occupies too much of my time and I end up spending less time in real life. I don't wanna regress into the past, when I'm a more of a loner and games are what kept me happy. It's not what I wanted in the first place. I mean, gaming great fun but it's no substitute for real life. I need to improve and deal with my real life issues and frustrations, not use a virtual medium as a distraction. I wanna get back into the dating scene, but I don't feel as if I'll meet the right person anytime soon. I've been having feelings for someone, but after being rejected twice, I really need to move on.

On another note, I still have some personal issues to deal with, such as confidence, self-perception and self-image issues, which I need to deal with sooner or later. Hopefully, I'll be able to overcome them some day. I'll talk more about that later. I'll take things one at a time. IMHO, anything too rushed will only make me crash and burn.

I don't like it when I feel as if I don't have much control of my life, so it's time to take charge again. I know I can do it. I just need to stop parking my ass on my PC so often. It amazes me how much productive my life can be without my PC. I had a week once when my PC was in the shop, and I suddenly felt I had sooo much time for myself, LOL! Yes, my PC is such a seductress and that bitch is a double-edged sword too, but I love her! Like how I always preach, everything in moderation and this time, I need to moderate my screen time!

Injury Again...Ouch!

I woke up this morning feeling really stiff on the upper right side of my back. As I tried to move, the pain hit me. I must've unknowingly pulled a back muscle at the gym last night because I didn't feel any pain during the session or when I went to sleep. The stiffness and dull but sharp pain prevents me from moving my head or my right arm. It was so bad that I had to take MC and see the doctor, who gave me painkillers and some muscle relaxant. I've pulled a muscle or had a sprain before, but never this severely. I couldn't even brush my teeth or wash my hair without wincing from the pain, which was mostly from the upper right side of my back. Heck, it was a struggle to even put on a shirt after I showered, as I couldn't lift my right arm above my shoulder level.

Thankfully, the medication worked. Though it's still kinda stiff, at least the pain doesn't bite as hard anymore. This has been the second gym-related injury this month. I really have to watch it. I hate falling sick or getting injured because I can't stand being helpless or incapacitated.

Making Progress!

I've been getting a few compliments lately that I look leaner and fitter. Indeed, I do notice that I've gotten leaner but slightly smaller in size and that is common, although my weight only shifted less by a kilo. At my weight (73 kgs) now, I don't expect significant changes as I change physically since I weight-train pretty heavy, so maintenance or any gain of lean muscle will offset any weight loss recorded on the scales.

My goal is to have a lean, muscular and athletic body with low bodyfat. I don't want to look like a bulky bodybuilder and I have no desire to have muscles that are too big and bulging. At first, I was indecisive on how I wanted myself to look physically. I wanted to be lean, yet also wanted muscles. When I got bigger, I felt awkward and didn't really like it when my clothes felt tight. On the other hand, I felt more comfortable when I was leaner and fitted into my clothes better. Since my weight would shiftly only slightly or none at all as I made progress, how I looked in the mirror or how my clothes felt would definitely better indicate my results compared to the scales. That's how I decided what my goal should be. I will continue getting leaner, while maintaining or slightly gaining some lean mass. Fixing on a goal or direction has definitely made things easier for me. I don't have to yo-yo back and forth and then, get frustrated when I didn't achieve the look I wanted.

Initially, I was having doubts if I'm doing it right, but I probably spend too much time looking at myself and can't tell any significant difference right away, which is true. You make very small differences everyday if you work out diligently, so you can tell only after some time when the cumulative results become more obvious. I knew I was getting leaner as my waist has shrunk and my clothes are getting looser, which are both good indicators and the compliments really helped to affirm it. However, my strength hasn't decreased and I've even managed to lift slightly heavier than before, which is desirable and shows that I'm maintaining or gaining lean mass.

The consistency and motivation to workout lately has definitely paid off. I've been eating pretty clean most of the time, but I have my 'cheat' moments to reward or soothe myself (stress is a bitch!). What motivates me the most is the results. The closer I got to my goal, the more motivated I become and this can be a very powerful driving force. When you're getting what you want from what you're doing, no matter how hard it is, you never want to stop and will keep plowing forward. I will probably post some pictures again soon (sis is busy with her assignments!). For now, I'll just keep going =)

Fabulous Weekend Out And A Very Surprising Reunion!

Last weekend was absolutely fabulous, spent both Saturday and Sunday almost completely outdoors. It was fabulous, not only because of great times with friends, but because I had a surprisingly unexpected reunion. Saturday's outing started off with a nice dinner at Nandos in Gurney Plaza. We sat right in front of the ground floor main entrance (Nandos there has 2 floors) and as we ate dinner, along came these tall and beautifully-dressed women who strolled directly past us and proceed up the stairs to the upper level. Then, I noticed that each of them wore a rather large ribbon. It seems that they were part of a pageant held earlier on there. If I'm not mistaken, I think it was for Miss Malaysia 2009.

Subsequently, it was movie time. We watched Angels and Demons and I gotta say, it was pretty AWESOME! I've not read the book, so I don't know how much of the plot in the movie resembles the book but it kept my attention glued to the screen nonetheless. The plot was really interesting but needed to be viewed with an open mind, especially if you're a Christian as it reveals and questions quite a few things in the history of Christianity. The facts and revelations that were laid out really caught my attention but if you don't follow it closely, you might miss out on what's going on. I totally loved the excellent cinematograhy throughout the movie. It brilliantly featured the breath-takingly beautiful and artistically intricate murals, sculptures and archtechture of Vatican City. The ambience and architechture really exudes a nice Roman charm.

After the movies, it was Momo time! Lately, I seldom go clubbing unless it's a special occasion or if a big group of friends are going. So this time, it was the latter. As I entered Momo and greeted some of my friends already in there, I was introduced to someone, who looked instantly familiar, but I didn't dare confirm. He introduced himself as Iz, and that almost closed the familiarity gap. Deep inside, I already knew who he was but I didn't say anything. Shortly after, he kept looking at me and talking excitedly to his best friend Nadia.

Then, I walked over, leaned towards him and whispered into his ear,"Are you from Seremban?"

To which he exclaimed excitedly,"YES!". And, we proceeded to exchange hugs coz we finally met for the first time.

I got to know Iz about 5 years ago, which I will still studying in MMU Malacca. We found each other on a popular social networking website called Faceparty back then. For the last 2 years that I was still in MMU, we chatted only through Yahoo Messenger. Back then, we practically lived next door to each other. Me in Malacca and him in Seremban, but we never met for real. After I left MMU and began working 3 years ago, we kinda lost contact as I didn't sign into Yahoo anymore and just used MSN Messenger exclusively. According to him, he WAS studying in Penang for a while during the time I was already back in Penang working, but we never bumped into each other in the island. Now, he's working in KK (Kota Kinabalu) in Sabah (or some of you might know it as Borneo) and he came to Penang last weekend to enjoy himself and hang out with his friends.

It is so suprisingly ironic that we didn't meet at all when we were living almost side by side and were still in contact with each other, but bumped into each other only after I came back to Penang and he moved to KK, which is practically farthest across west to east of Malaysia, and having not contacting each other for almost 3 years! Actually, it was thanks to Iz's friend from Penang who had me on her Facebook, and he thought I looked familiar as well. So, he called her up and she agreed to introduce (more of re-acquaint) us in Momo last Saturday. Talk about A SMALL WORLD! So, I've finally met Iz in real life and he appears to be a little shorter than what I pictured him to be. I also think that he's adorable and has bubbly butt personality. Yes yes, I was attracted to him when I first laid eyes on him. Probably no surprise to my friends who were there that night, coz it kinda showed =P

Iz is actually a 20-year-old modern Malay guy, the type that gets with the times. But alas, I found out that his heart belongs to someone else, and it's been that way for more than a year now. Since he is so in love and I'm not into breaking any relationships, I'll just stay mum on the whole thing. That is unless, he finds out from my little bloggie here. Sigh, why must all the good ones be taken?

Moving on, I spent the whole of Sunday with Iz and friends as well. We had a very late sushi lunch at Sakae in Queensbay and then watched Push in the evening, which kinda paled in comparison with Angels and Demons. Although I can't really compare since both are different genres, but the latter left me with a much better impression. The night ended with a great dinner at Hammer Bay ikan bakar, a popular Malay seafood place just near Queensbay Mall.

Same Old, Same Old...

Admittedly, life is a little boring in Penang right now. Don't get me wrong, Penang is a great place with loads of good food and nice places to visit, but it's more on the homely side, rather than leisure-focused or glamorous. So, there isn't really a lot you can do as compared to KL. It's almost the same thing to do or same places to go to every week, which kinda suck at times. Lately, I've been staying home most of the time, indulging myself in World of Warcraft, YouTube, tv series, animes and surfing. Can't really think of anything much to do except maybe for go movies, drinks, some window shopping or the occasional clubbing when I'm out of the house. As much as I appreciate my alone time, it does get old after a while and I yearn for something more.

I'm not dating anyone right now, don't seem to have any luck with guys from Penang. Don't ask me why, I ask myself the same thing. I haven't been putting myself out there neither, so I'm more or less a hermit. Another thing I seem to notice is that guys that I like and might have a chance with are usually NOT from Penang, but other parts of Malaysia. Not really a fan of any long distance relationships, especially when it just started. Flames will die as fast as they begin IMHO. I'm more careful and selective now,when it comes to choosing who I wanna be with. Yes, I do get proposals at times, but I don't think that I should just jump into it with any Tom, Dick and Harry. Even you're so cute or feel so attractive to me, I won't immediately express an interest. I'd prefer to get to know you more before deciding if it's worth the effort later. I've had enough of bad attitude problems and prefer someone who is good-natured with a good attitude and personality. No matter how gorgeous you are, if you have a shitty attitude, have a personality of a goldfish, behave very immaturely or irresponsibly, you turn me off instantly. Let's put it at that. Aside from that, I look for someone that I can learn from and add something to my life, not just sex which doesn't involve a decision of using my left or right hand. I'd better stop here lest anyone thinks I'm like a dating service providing a list of criteria for potential customers =P

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for any changes that might come my way, especially if it entails a change in career or moving to a different place. Having a safe daily routine in a fixed place is nice and much less nerve-wrecking, but there are times when I just wanna throw caution into the wind and take anything that comes along.

Going Commando

Let me tell you a secret. A juicy and dirty little secret. Whenever I'm at the gym, I don't wear undies! Yes, I like to 'go commando' when I'm pumping it out at the gym (Oklah, it's not as dirty or juicy as you think). And I do the same thing when I'm at home, especially in my room. I don't care what people think coz it's when I feel the most comfortable and 'liberated'. Sometimes, I do feel a little vulnerable, as if someone at the gym might realize that I'm not wearing anything else underneath. Bear in mind that I only do this when I'm at my local gym, not when I visit other gyms with friends or during my travels. Perhaps I'm just a little too comfortable in my local gym, but I do know that doing intense cardio while wearing undies isn't pleasant. It's just something that I'd like to do when I'm alone to feel comfortable and relaxed.

Last Saturday, I was at the gym as usual, doing my thing. Then, I decided to do deadlifts (one of my fave exercises, click the link to see the movements). So, as I was bending up and down, I noticed the guy doing bench presses behind me looking at me weirdly and smiling. You see, I was already really wet and sweaty halfway through, after my warm-up cardio and initial weight-training. So I checked behind me if there was anything. Then, to my horror of horrors, I realized that the workout pants that I wore was SEE THROUGH WHEN WET!

OMFG, how could I not have realized this earlier? So, for the past 5 minutes, I was literally mooning (flashing my butt) at the guy behind me. In order to appear ignorant to this fact, I didn't show it in my face and hid my embarassment. I waited for him to move off to another equipment before I continued, making sure no one else was near my vicinity CLOSE enough to see my almost bare ass as I bent down (yes, I'm that hardcore at the gym, workouts must FINISH!).

NOTE TO SELF: Be more aware of type of pants I'm wearing to gym.

PS: No, I'm not about to give up going commando, so don't try to pull down my pants when you see me at the gym! Please?

A Big Bang into May!

Update: more pics added!

Last Wednesday, I woke up in the middle of the night with a bad burning sensation in my chest. It was hot enough to make me really uncomfortable and wake up sweating. When I awoke in the morning, I felt some mild pain when I swallowed food or water. Over a couple of days, it intensified. Swallowing anything at all be it food, water or even my own saliva triggered a sharp pain. It was as if I was trying to swallow a big rock with jagged edges, and my throat was agonizingly pushing it down as it gouged the walls of my esophagus. However, the pain would only occur when whatever I swallowed reached the middle of my sternum (mid point of your chest). This felt peculiar because I wasn't suffering from a bad cough, flu, breathing difficuties or muscular aches around my chest. Sometimes, it was painful enough that I could actually picture an alien offspring trying to push its way out of my chest. Being a hypochondriac, I did some research on Google and suspected it might be acid reflux. I really hoped it wasn't something as bad as a hiatus hernia.

Last Friday, I was supposed to head down to KL, but considered cancelling it. It had become SO painful that I really needed to see the doctor. Luckily, it wasn't hernia (PHEW!). I might've triggered a really bad acid reflux the day before when I did weight-training. Apparently, I might've unknowingly strained myself hard enough for acid to push into part of my esophagus and injuring the walls over the course of the night, which explains the heartburn that woke me up. Anyways, knowing it wasn't a hernia calmed my nerves a little, but I was still reeling from the pain. So, I wasn't going to cancel the KL trip, which I'm really glad I didn't! After the doctor's, I joined Zemien and the gang for lunch at Smoky Jack's before I headed to KL in the evening.

Best dish overall, BBQ Pork Ribs. Very tender and juicy!

BBQ Beef Ribs. This is a limited item for lunch, only 3 sets available per day. However, it was rather dry.

Tata Fish. Tasted like normal fish and chips.

I had the Grilled Salmon. Tasted soft and buttery, quite good actually.

The lunch gang!

The KL trip last weekend was AWESOME, much better that the last one despite being in pain. Arrived late Friday evening and had to take yesterday's morning bus home, and as usual I took Aeroline both ways. So, I only had Saturday to plan for the outings, meet up with friends and party my brains out.

Saturday started with lunch at 1-Utama with Isaac, my good friend and gracious host who provided accomodation, while we waited for Adrian (his housemate) to finish his gym class. After that, we proceed to watch X-Men: Origins in GSC there. Very action-packed, great CGI effects and interesting storyline, but with some obvious loopholes. Not to mention how hot it was to see Hugh Jackman stark naked, but we only got to see his behind (sadly). Yep, lots of 'oohs' and 'aahs' in the cinema during that scene.

Later that evening, I had a dinner cum b'day gathering at Bangsar Village in Delicious. I met up with my previous housemate in Uni, Reza whom I've not seen in YEARS. Also there were my abso-freakin'-lutely fabulous gal friends Ash and Vivien, along with a bunch of their friends. The b'day bash was for Ash's housemate, Elhil. Great food among great but really freakin' noisy friends. I'm so glad we sat outside, or we'd really piss off the whole restaurant. We were so loud, you might think we were already drunk. Lots and lots of laughs, jokes and catching up. Gosh, I miss it SOOO MUCH. It made me forgot about the pain that night =)

After the 3 hour dinner gathering, it was time to head back and prep for clubbing! Princeworld was having a string from events from May 1st to May 3rd, starting from Orange to Oblique and finally Maison club. On Saturday, Oblique club was the venue for the event, so that's where we went. To my friends reading this, I know a lot about such events even though I seldom go KL thanks to Facebook, not because I'm a crazy party animal! Seriously, join the club and event groups in Facebook and you'll be updated on the latest upcoming event and get to RSVP as well! You wanna now which to join, go look up the list of groups in my Facebook profile, k?

Anyhow, Oblique was PACKED! Normally, Oblique wouldn't really be my club of choice, as I felt that it was poorly furnished and the crowd was particularly 'lala' or bitchy. But that night, the management obviously made some changes and the place looked great. Also, the Princeworld event being held there was a major attraction, so there was a long queue to get in. Shortly after we entered, there was a HOT striptease dance show. Yes, young guys with hot bodies stripping down to their undies, PLUS they REALLY know how to shake their stuff. There were PLENTY of hot guys around and as the night progressed, hot topless guys littered the dance floor and stage (as usual). I danced practically non-stop after almost 2 hours. DJ Princess Ann was the DJ for the night and music was pretty hot. Was so drenched with sweat after clubbing that night, that my singlet changed color...LOL! If you're thinking I should've gone topless too...I was shy lah!

We ended the night at McDonald's for supper. Yes, fast food at 3am in the morning ain't exactly good but we were hungry and it's nearby. I managed to wake up after 4 hours of sleep with considerable panda eyebags but I don't care! It was a Saturday very fabulously well-spent. Gosh, I MISS YOU GUYS AND I MISS KL! WOOHOO!