Singlehood

Since my last relationship (very short one too!), I've been single for almost 1 year and 4 months. Whenever my friends would ask me if I'm attached or have a lover, I would say I'm single and they would go, "Aiya, don't be so choosy laaa". Most people think that way, I'm too choosy or picky in finding the right guy.

I have gone after some guys that I really liked before, but it usually ends up that they are either not ready for a relationship or don't like me the same way. My very best friend, Joe, told me that I always had a tendency to go for guys who either, just got out of a relationship and are vulnerable, still young and wanna play around or are too popular to commit to a single guy. Judging from history of flops lately, what he said is quite true. He also pointed out that I can't really say that guys don't like me, as I do have my admirers but I either turned them down or chose to remain good friends. Is this a case of karma in my life right now? Am I being turned down by those I like because I turned down others that liked me?

Although people may think I'm choosy, I think that I have a right to choose who I want to be with. So why the hell aren't I in a relationship right now? Is this vicious cycle of rejection gonna end? Am I setting my standards too high? I don't really think so, as guys I like aren't male models or anything like that. But anyway, looks are nothing if someone has a shitty attitude, completely turns me off.

Then, Joe pointed out something that kinda woke me up. Am I actually opening up myself to gives others a chance? Do I shut myself almost completely when someone who's not my type approaches me? Did I give others a chance the way I'd wish others might give ME a chance? Did I give others a chance to show what they have underneath? It could be that Mr. Right had come along and I HAD turned him down before. This really hit me...he could've been right there and I didn't even know it!

I mean, it's nice to have mutual liking in the beginning and then start a relationship, but that's not always the case. Sometimes mutual liking doesn't happen in the beginning, a person can like another, but the other person is either indifferent or doesn't even like him, and that changes after both spend more time together. Thus, a relationship blossoms.

So, I should learn not to fall for guys who are not ready or willing to commit, and I should open myself to more options. Hopefully, my future BF and I will cross paths again some day...