Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I Look Below Average

Although this might sound like a rant, I'm actually a realistic person and I'm just being honest about myself. It's not that I'm fishing for pity or feeling sorry for myself (well, maybe a bit =P), but I believe in the outlook department, I would definitely fall below average. I'm neither good-looking, attractive nor cute and generally don't fare well when it comes to first impressions (looks-wise). Out of 10 (for being the best), I'd probably rank myself as a 3 or 4. However, you'd think I'm just exaggerating, I do have my reasons to back this up! Read below please:

1. I have zits (pimples lah!).
In my early teens, when puberty hit me like a tonne of bricks, it brought along a family of zits that settled permanently on my face, and would later spawn generations of zits right into my 20s. Although I've evolved from a pizza-with-extra-topping-faced teenager to a less frightening version as an adult, the effects of having zits still affects me physically and psychologically. Yes, having zits WILL weigh down on your self-esteem and make you more self-conscious. In my case, apparently it's genetic (and comes from my mother's side, since my dad's face looks smooth) and right now, even my younger sister is having it too (she's taking better care of it than I did when I was her age). With occasional (lately more constant) lack of sleep and plenty of stress from work, it's doing absolutely 'wonders' for the birth rate of zits! As I was saying, zits constantly deals a blow to my self-esteem, from my teens up till now. I can't help but feel ugly and self-conscious about it. It's just an unwanted growth that should not be a part of your face, but most of the time, there's no way to stop it. I envy those who've NEVER had to deal with this problem with their skin and have had smooth skin all their lives. I've tried several dermatologists and quite a few products and I can only hope to find someting that truly will work for me. I'm considering some good facial treatments that has worked great on a friend of mine, but it's kinda pricey. What can you recommend?

2. I have facial scars.
Thanks to the history of zit colonies on my face, it now has more potholes than the roads in Malaysia. My face is like a human version of the surface of the moon, with its numerous large craters and uneven terrain. In my teen years, I was hardest hit by zits and was an idiot who didn't know about facial care and consider the effects it would have back then. Now, my face is irreversablly ridden with acne scars, as a remnant of my past mistakes. I'm looking for any products that can effectively lessen the visibility of the scars...any help?

3. I have rough facial skin.
Since I still suffer from zits and acne scars, it just makes sense to have skin akin to sand paper. (My friends reading this might think this is A TAD exaggerating). On some parts of my face, it would look like the Himalayas, deadly and rough with highly treacherous terrain! I've gone for facial peeling sessions that feels like the actually PEELING OFF the face, wah lau eh, THE SEARING PAIN! (I suspect the bitch used too much). People with smooth faces, I hate you.....no, not really.....yeah I do =P

4. I have weird facial structure and facial features.
Yes, that's true, especially if you look from side-ways. It like the front part of my skull excels in funny shapes. Many people say I look like my mum, which is true. But the saying 'Guys who look like their mother are usually good-looking', doesn't apply to me. I don't have sharp and lean features that makes a guy's face look good. I have a wide face, small eyes, bushy eyebrows, bad skin (READ ABOVE from 1 to 3) and almost no bridge on my nose. Yes, it's not a pretty sight as I'm dissecting my countenance (means face), isn't it? I don't like taking pictures and I don't like to look at myself in pictures. Exceptions, for memory's sake (gatherings with friends, family etc).

5. I'm clueless about hair (on my head ya...).
In my defense, I DO NOT have messy OR dorky hair. However, I have no clue on how to style my hair and usually just cut it short and spiky to minimize maintenance (no need to comb every time a gush of wind messes up my locks). You might say I go for the natural look, although it's BORING me to tears (Kanina...you see me 5 years from now also same look, sure yawn in my face, right?). I have gone to style my hair before, and it was good, but I didn't know how to duplicate the style after I washed my hair. Yes, I'm pathetic =P

All in all, those who wanna meet me: Be afraid, be very afraid!.....no, not really.......yeah, you should be XD

1 comment:

Kevin TCP said...

Try to take care of your outlook. Seek for professional helps or else you will get even worse for your outlook :p Gambateh!