(Bear with me here, I'm in sort of a whiny mood. Feeling particularly down the end of the day)
It's just one of those days, when you can't bear to look at yourself in the mirror. It's one of those days, when you wish you were someone else. It's one of those days when you curse yourself for looking this way. Why am I gay and have such bad skin? Why won't my acne and blemish problems go away? I feel like a toothless tiger. So many times, I just wanna give up. So many times, I just feel like there's no hope and I shouldn't even fucking bother anymore. This is one of those times.
It's one of those days, when I can't help feeling that the reason I'm being rejected most of the time, is because I make a bad first impression physically. It's one of those days, when I feel that my face really does belong under a paper bag. Why can't I be average at best? I'm not asking for much, just hoping that I might look a little better than I am right now. I'm not hoping for much, just that one day I might stop hating looking at myself in the mirror. I know I'm being superficial, but you don't know what it feels like to be me. You don't know what it feels like to avoid looking into mirrors in public places at times. You don't know how it feels like to dread taking pictures of yourself and looking at them at times. This is one of those times.
It's one of those days, when I feel so fugly beyond help. It's one of those days, when you get the heavy, sinking feeling inside when you look at yourself. It's one of those days, when I'm almost 29 but look as if I'm 40.
What can I say? It's just one of those days...
PS: I think that this is one of my most heartfelt post. I'm just writing out whatever I'm feeling right now. I know it'll pass, but I thought I'd pen it down anyways. I usually avoid writing negative posts about myself because I don't wanna paint a picture of myself as a negative person, as it is NOT who I want to be. Nevertheless, it felt good to let it out.