Sunday, July 5, 2009

Move It Bitch!

Being a driver for 10 years, I've met a lot of inconsiderate people on the road. But, literally NOTHING freakin' irritates me more than these 2 types of road users:

1. Pedestrians who cross very slowly when you're coming or waiting for them to cross. They KNOW your coming. They SEE you waiting for them to cross. Yet, they take their own sweet time doing so, conveniently swaying their hips and sometimes giving you a cold glance, as if you NEED to wait for them to cross the road that probably belongs to their grandfather. I'm sorry ladies, this one is mostly about you, because I've seen SO many women do this. If I'm waiting for you to cross, then it's not THAT bad. I can handle being slightly annoyed and impatient even though you walk across like the slow-mo scenes in The Matrix. But if I'm actually on the move and coming towards you, no freakin' amount of slow-mo hip-swaying and cold glances is gonna stop me from mowing your bitch-ass down all over the road! So, move it bitch or I'll decorate the road with your ass! Unless you're a hot guy, stop doing that. How come cute or hot guys never do that? I know I sound discriminative but that's how it is!

2. People who take all the time in the world to move from their spot. Yes, I see this happen a lot at gas stations and parking lots. They KNOW you're waiting for them to move their ass. They SEE you waiting for them with your turn signal on. Yet, they get into the car, drink some water, shift their asses about, proceed to press whatever on their dashboard, sometimes turning to talk to the person beside them, drink more water, probably proceed to check their pubes for any crab infestations and doing their laundry in the process. I don't care! Just freakin' move your complacent ass coz people are waiting for you and are probably holding up more people behind! Don't they have an ounce of civic-mindedness? If you're waiting for someone or not making a move yet, then make a bloody gesture to let me know! Don't make me sit in the car growing an ulcer from the emotional volcano brewing inside!

Here's a PERFECT example for #2 that happened to me just weeks ago:

I went to Queensbay Mall basement car park, and it was full. Apparently, the guards were busy chasing butterflies or something to bother monitoring the amount of cars in the small basement to stop cars from further entering after it was full. As a results, cars were circulating the basement like moths to a streetlight, and I was one of those fools. After close to 20 mins, I FINALLY saw a chinese father/daughter pair (I think) pushing a shopping cart to a car right in front of me. So, I immediately put on my right side signal and waited for them to unload and get moving. Both of them SAW me waiting but proceed to move like a couple of turtles racing in peanut butter. The young lady SLOWLY went to the back and popped open then trunk, and proceeded to pose like a supermodel, when I swear she probably looks more like a tranny. So, her middle-aged father had to SLOWLY load all 5-6 large shopping bags into the trunk himself, making several trips from the front to the back, and his molasses-like movement was beginning to draw some annoyance from me. Can't she help? Must she behave like a freakin' arrogant diva? I was tempted to really give her a bitchslap.

After everything was loaded, the lazy bitch young lady went into the front passenger seat. Then, as the father returned to the empty shopping cart, he shot a glance at me waiting there, and to my absolute-further-ulcer-inducing annoyance, proceeded to TURN AROUND and began to SLOWLY push the shopping cart to the OPPOSITE END of the parking lot where the trolley station is! At this time, cars behind me were beginning to honk, as the lane I was waiting on could only fit one car, so I was holding up everyone behind me and maybe even the whole basement was jammed up because of me. When that happened, the young lady began to look anxiously at her father, who once again, very SLOWLY walked back to the car. What the hell is wrong with these people? They KNOW that I'm waiting for their asses to get off that parking spot. They KNOW that traffic is being held up, yet they couldn't care less. I swear, I was about to get out of the car and start yelling at them to move it. But, a friend of mine was in the car and I don't wanna risk scaring him. I'm sure those behind me saw what was going on too and was thinking of doing the same thing.

So all in all, MOVE IT BITCH!

PS: I wasn't really mad when I started this post. But, by then end of it after recounting what had happened, it got me pissed again. LOL!