Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Reasons Why (Part 2)

Woke up in the middle of the night and the first thing that came into my mind was my poop pooh bear. Take another fifteen minutes or so to think about him and decided that I can't sleep...again...and thought that it's about time I wrote something. Besides, he's super busy nowadays and life has taken a toll of him :( so, I guess it's up to me to keep his blog alive. Sigh, all I can do is watch and watch and watch on what is going in his life... Seriously, sometimes I feel so useless because I can't help and it's equally torturing to watch your other half suffering what he is going through now. Well, I guess that's what they meant by midlife crisis. I feel that it is a waste of time to actually feel sorry for myself for my inability to help or sorry for him cause well, it's JUST POINTLESS and it will leads to nowhere. So nowadays, I'm trying new methods to help him relax which includes trying to learn how to massage and also massage the stick below which I think, is a good way to relief stress.

Anyway, in times like these, I think I should be playing a strong character and I am really glad I did.

Was listening to a CD talk in the car earlier and that guy said something like "Teamwork, there are times when one is on the verge of giving up or they feel terrible that they really wanna quit but that's when the other one will be strong and give encouragements and support on not to give up. When I asks my uncle and dad can they do this alone and they just look at each other for a moment and said 'No we can't.'".

That made me realized that this is really what I should be doing and even though I might not be able to help physically but at least I can help mentally. I know I am totally off topic but just wanna make a point in this hehehe...

Okay okay, I got emo-ed again now so uhhh....opps??

Actually, I'm not really off topic. I was stressing that out because today, it made me realized that we've gone quite far and Mark really changed me A LOT along with SOMEONE else... I feel like an old guy repeating this again and again but I really really really appreciate what I've gone through with him. It's very memorable and full of experience and I do not feel wasting my youth going through all these.

You know, actually when I was writing Part 1, I've allocated Part 2 to compare him with my ex-es but now, I realized that I have to change it. Why? Because I see no point in comparing him with my ex-es anymore cause they're not worth NOT even close to how valuable he is.

So, this is all about us :D (~~~it's all about us, all about us~~~) Swweeeett... Don't you think that humans are amazing because you can still make new discoveries on another person after being with that person for like...a year or so? (try to imagine ten and twenty years down the road) One of the most cutest *emphasizing* things I ever discovered is the way he urm...what's the word for it?... crunch his face? Urm...okay just like this ------> >.< <---- Yeah, when he made his face like that, it's just so daaaammnn fugging cute! He does his manja face whenever I sulked or playing I-am-angry-with-you and I just couldn't help but laugh and say "Stop doing that face! Pai kuah kah beh si!". In my heart, I just looove it despite what I always say when he does that. OMG SO CUTE!!! Passionate and understanding is what I can say next.

Apparently, I still cant shake off being insecure because of jealousy on a certain someone but we have learned to communicate with each other when in doubt or if there's any misunderstanding between both of us. It proved to be effective (communication) and I guess one of the key points in maintaining a relationship is to clear your doubts and always able to talk to each other. Anyway, all I can say is that he knows what I want (most of the time) and nowadays, when I have doubts about something, I'll just tell him that we need another talk or so which...thankfully doesn't happen often but just...seldom. Opps... It's actually a good thing when I look at him and I know he's thinking about something and likewise. The expression is like an emergency alarm which we both understands and when it is triggered, we know that something is troubling our other half. When that happens to me, he'll have that OMG-here-comes-another-wave-of-emoness look on his face while looking at me and when that happens to him, my only thought is "Aiya, deep shit" and bug him about what he's thinking since he sorta likes to keep those thoughts to himself for some time just like the other day when he got his "period".

A little bit about me so far is that I am still all sticky-icky on him and I sorta can't believe that I am still that sticky after a year. (Hahahaha *proud*) Well, I just couldn't help it and sometimes, I just wonder should I actually limit myself to how much I should love him or let it be because well, I think I loooooove him too much until the point where I become so sticky and super concern about his well-being. It just makes me equally emo when he got emo-ed and I can't help it. Whenever he's gloomy, then I know I'll be gloomy the whole day too and I'll be totally moodless. I find this reaction quite stupid actually as I don't see a point on why should I be emo. Okay, enough of my crap and I think I'm gonna WoW abit or read my novel before I hit my pillow wahahaha!

P/S: Finished writing this about 0430 but then, I can't post it without the owner of the blog's permission. And I'm telling this because I wanna make those who's working JEEAAAAAHHH-LOSSSS *evil*


Jason said...

zaizai FTW! =D

great to see tat both of you are soooo loving despite the hardship... proud of both of you! *hugs*

Bravebear said...

someone needs to be the pillar when a storm hits. Good to know you can be the pillar.

Anonymous said...

eh jerk lo u