Monday, October 12, 2009

The Verdict

I had a talk with him last Thursday, which was a day before the Oct 9th deadline he gave me. We went out for a casual dinner at Queensbay, bought some stuff and had the short conversation in my car on the way back. Before this, YZ and I were just dating and kept our options open. At that time, he wasn't sure if he could put himself fully into a relationship, hence the deadline so that he could really think about it.

Long story short, he's decided that we won't be in a relationship. It was bad timing for him, coz he still misses his ex and he's extremely busy with his studies from lots of assignments, exams and activities. Since he told me what he did, I can do nothing but accept it right? Can't really force my hand here and I have to respect his decision. Instead, I became his godbro...

If you're wondering, I'm quite fine. Ever since he told me that we might not end up together, I was already emotionally prepared. In the end, we would be attached or end up as friends. I guess godbro is something smack in the middle of both. But, I still had that sinking feeling in my heart when he announced his decision. I still felt that I had lost something and felt mildly saddened. Worry not though, I'm prepared to move on, although a little heavy-hearted. He treated me well when we dated and he was pretty honest with me most of the time. And for that, I'm grateful. We're still in good relations and nothing bad happened.

However, during the course of the month, I had begun to look at him differently every time I saw at him. I had begun to think of him more often. I would miss his embrace. I would miss him being in my arms, just enjoying each others company. Sometimes after not seeing him for a while, I would feel a tingle when he touches me. I would fondly think of his habits and the way he talks. I would sometimes grin to myself when I picture his adorable face and expressions. Gosh, I sound like I'm smitten. Perhaps a little, but I should put it in the past. I shouldn't let myself fall too far if it was uncertain to begin with.

Time to move on...

6 comments:

Calvin said...

Ooo... Young guy being raped by his God-brother would be an excellent plot for my new story. Hahaha!!!

Ivan said...

Gambateh. Life goes on.

Mark said...

Calvin: =P

Ivan: Yepz

Brandon said...

You will get over soon.
:)
And you will find a new guy...

J said...

There is still a lot of guys out there waiting for you. Dont be sad!It is always a new day and also a new story.

Mark said...

Yeah I sure hope so, but I'm fine =)