It's A Matter Of Time

Zai2 and I had another two hour long chat in MSN on Sunday nite. We had planned to go the beach that evening. But as it turns out, his dad had to go for medical check-up that night and mum insisted for him to be at the hospital too later that night. He was upset because we didn't have any alone time for almost two weeks. I could still see him a few times a week, but it's usually with our friends around or when he got off work. For about a month or so now, I didn't have as much time as the first two months when we got together. More than a month ago, dad started having health problems so I had to take up additional family responsibilies and I had also started working on a part-time business to secure my financial future. Coupled with the fact that zai2 also began working part-time in Switch at Queensbay, our schedule clashed even more. This is not including any unforeseen circumstances like out-of-the-blue family issues or requests.

Although he is gradually growing to accept that I would not have more time for him as when we first got together, the lack of private time was always at the back of him mind. He understands that a lot of my time is devoted to things that I needed to do, but he's still young and emotional after all.

Zai2 said that he would have to work this whole week until Sunday due to an event at Switch. He usually works from 4:30pm till 10:30pm, so we wouldn't have any time together and the event would require him to work even longer hours this week. Yes, I could understand why he was so visibly upset. He really had high hopes that we'd be together, strolling by the beach on Sunday night, but it came crashing down like the heavy rain when I dropped him off at Island Hospital later that night.

So, I didn't attend the meeting that I was supposed to on Monday night. That night would just be for him. At least I made him happier. At least he got the Pooh hug, among other things. Sometimes, it feels like I still needed to get used to the fact that I'm no longer single and have another to take care of. Sometimes I still feel inadequate that I can't fulfill some of his wishes, but I'll keep trying.

Life is pretty demanding for me right now, and I'm still in process of adapting...