Boasting :P Blek...

There's gonna be two posts which im gonna post. I'm not sure if I'll be able to make another one later or not :P

So, why 'boasting'? Let's keep the suspense on for a while we talk about something else kay? Well, Mark is Mark and he's my Mark or so he is for now :P He might not look like Brat Pitt or my Ethan Ruan Jing Tian but nevertheless, he's still my Mark that I'll always mark. *Ahem* excuse me for the confusing mark mark thing. I like to twist and go around the bush bwahahaha!!! It makes people feel frustrated cause of the suspense or annoyed by reading a WoT (Wall of Text) :P

True, I feel sad when he don't have time for me. During these times, I've been kinda sad cause we just don't have that freaking time! Mind you, I name myself Cronos as to remind me of 'Time' but yet, the irony! Cronos doesn't have 'chronos'. In this period, my feeling started to waver as I am not someone who doesn't have admirers *cough* friends *cough* *cough*. Sorry, i never realized i could have such a terrible cough while writing. Nevertheless, I trust my instinct (yeah, I,m an animal, so I have instincts and I trust it RAWRRR!!!) and so, I held on. I do realize that after his dad went to hospital, things started to change and I could not get used to it. I longed for him but in the same time, I was scarred cause of something I did which do not turn out to be pleasant and was unexpected.

I dare to say, I no longer loved Mark as how I did during the first month. Things fails and as time goes on, we get to know each other more and more. Even though that I no longer loved Mark like before, I still love him as my beloved and even though there's so many distractions around me, I am still loyal. I still longed for his hug, the warmness of his body touching mine (WITH CLOTHES ON! MIND YOU!!!), his lips and his smell (not odour kind of smell) BUT I do not long for his lectures especially on FOOD which can goes on and on and on and I'll pretend as if I'm listening even though I've fown off somewhere else, relatively speaking XD not to mention his kissing! OMG! Let you know an embarrassing secret of his! HIS FRENCH KISSING SUCKS! I told him to be passionate and slow but he was always soooooooooo aggressive... but still, I compromise just like how he compromises with me.

Now, I love him like a part of my own. I do not realize that until recently and why do I say so? I'm someone who's sau ji ngau chut em ngau yap kind of person. Meaning, I treat outsiders better than my own family and I do realize that I treat him that way now. True, it's a weird way to show the love I have but that's just how I am. Shawn gorgor too agrees that I am one hecka weird kid T_T Well, I should be ^.^ and not T_T hehe.. that's how I love him now but even I could not be sure how long could I go on with his business with the family and work and now me. I do not want to be a burden to him but in the same time, if I do so, then it would be meaningless to be in this relationship (that's from my point of view). True, one might argues that "NO! It's not meaningless cause you can still be there to support what he's doing" yada yada yadda but still, I wanted to be loved and feel the love. I want to be reminded that I actually have someone, my other half rather than I have one but I feel none.

It seems that I said and wrote the wrong thing...