Random Update

Good lord, time really whooshes by. It's been quite a while since I last updated. Guess I've been too busy until I hadn't realized. Haven't thought of much to write, and neither is there anything interesting or inspiring enough for me to write about. Or maybe I just missed it =/

Anyhow, zai2 and I are doing just fine right now. We get to meet less per week, now that both are us are working. He's doing part-time in Switch at Queensbay Mall, and finishes his shift usually pretty late at night during week days. Also, we've been pretty 'dry' for a couple of weeks. Didn't get to have any private time together. I'm not really worried about myself, just about zai2. You know lah, when you're 20, hormones usually hold the reigns to your developing man-brain.

I do my best to fill in the gaps. I call and SMS him daily whenever I can. I plan our outings and when we can meet up. And I do all that since I'm the one with the tighter ass schedule. I can't complain at this point. Things have pretty much settled so I'm thankful for where we are now. Zai2's initial complaints are diminishing. Time is our only problem, and it's not even that serious.

Lovely Poem

Zai2 wrote a lovely poem in FB and tagged me. I got rather upset with his last post, so we talked about it that day and everything was alright after that. As I suspected, he didn't realize what he was doing and caused some misunderstanding.

I woke up feeling blue,
You text-ed me like you'd always do,
The love of yours did I see through,
As fiery as it is true,

You'd never stopped feeding me,
But I was always ever hungry,
Never once did you get angry,
How selfish of me!

Damn my head keeps singing Alejandro,
It feels like I am about to blow,
As I thought of you I glowed,
It's 5AM now and I feel Drow,

Worry kept etching on my face,
Should be reminded of my pace,
Let us be slow and not a race,
Embrace till the end of our grace.

Be reminded we are just human,
Mistakes will we tend to do,
Treachery, blasphemy and semen,
Be calm, composed and cool.

Zai2 should definitely stick to poems =P

Unique McDonald's Ad

This aired in France and I believe it's the first gay ad from McDonald's.

It could be that the fast food giant is taking steps to show that they celebrate diversity.

I think it's just cute and endearing =)

Boasting :P Blek...

There's gonna be two posts which im gonna post. I'm not sure if I'll be able to make another one later or not :P

So, why 'boasting'? Let's keep the suspense on for a while we talk about something else kay? Well, Mark is Mark and he's my Mark or so he is for now :P He might not look like Brat Pitt or my Ethan Ruan Jing Tian but nevertheless, he's still my Mark that I'll always mark. *Ahem* excuse me for the confusing mark mark thing. I like to twist and go around the bush bwahahaha!!! It makes people feel frustrated cause of the suspense or annoyed by reading a WoT (Wall of Text) :P

True, I feel sad when he don't have time for me. During these times, I've been kinda sad cause we just don't have that freaking time! Mind you, I name myself Cronos as to remind me of 'Time' but yet, the irony! Cronos doesn't have 'chronos'. In this period, my feeling started to waver as I am not someone who doesn't have admirers *cough* friends *cough* *cough*. Sorry, i never realized i could have such a terrible cough while writing. Nevertheless, I trust my instinct (yeah, I,m an animal, so I have instincts and I trust it RAWRRR!!!) and so, I held on. I do realize that after his dad went to hospital, things started to change and I could not get used to it. I longed for him but in the same time, I was scarred cause of something I did which do not turn out to be pleasant and was unexpected.

I dare to say, I no longer loved Mark as how I did during the first month. Things fails and as time goes on, we get to know each other more and more. Even though that I no longer loved Mark like before, I still love him as my beloved and even though there's so many distractions around me, I am still loyal. I still longed for his hug, the warmness of his body touching mine (WITH CLOTHES ON! MIND YOU!!!), his lips and his smell (not odour kind of smell) BUT I do not long for his lectures especially on FOOD which can goes on and on and on and I'll pretend as if I'm listening even though I've fown off somewhere else, relatively speaking XD not to mention his kissing! OMG! Let you know an embarrassing secret of his! HIS FRENCH KISSING SUCKS! I told him to be passionate and slow but he was always soooooooooo aggressive... but still, I compromise just like how he compromises with me.

Now, I love him like a part of my own. I do not realize that until recently and why do I say so? I'm someone who's sau ji ngau chut em ngau yap kind of person. Meaning, I treat outsiders better than my own family and I do realize that I treat him that way now. True, it's a weird way to show the love I have but that's just how I am. Shawn gorgor too agrees that I am one hecka weird kid T_T Well, I should be ^.^ and not T_T hehe.. that's how I love him now but even I could not be sure how long could I go on with his business with the family and work and now me. I do not want to be a burden to him but in the same time, if I do so, then it would be meaningless to be in this relationship (that's from my point of view). True, one might argues that "NO! It's not meaningless cause you can still be there to support what he's doing" yada yada yadda but still, I wanted to be loved and feel the love. I want to be reminded that I actually have someone, my other half rather than I have one but I feel none.

It seems that I said and wrote the wrong thing...

Ale-Alejandro!

FINALLY IT'S OUT! This time she took a darker, more gothic theme, and some the scenes are pretty, explicitly HAWT! Especially the ones on the bed =P

The machine gun bra she's wearing...totally vogue!

It's A Matter Of Time

Zai2 and I had another two hour long chat in MSN on Sunday nite. We had planned to go the beach that evening. But as it turns out, his dad had to go for medical check-up that night and mum insisted for him to be at the hospital too later that night. He was upset because we didn't have any alone time for almost two weeks. I could still see him a few times a week, but it's usually with our friends around or when he got off work. For about a month or so now, I didn't have as much time as the first two months when we got together. More than a month ago, dad started having health problems so I had to take up additional family responsibilies and I had also started working on a part-time business to secure my financial future. Coupled with the fact that zai2 also began working part-time in Switch at Queensbay, our schedule clashed even more. This is not including any unforeseen circumstances like out-of-the-blue family issues or requests.

Although he is gradually growing to accept that I would not have more time for him as when we first got together, the lack of private time was always at the back of him mind. He understands that a lot of my time is devoted to things that I needed to do, but he's still young and emotional after all.

Zai2 said that he would have to work this whole week until Sunday due to an event at Switch. He usually works from 4:30pm till 10:30pm, so we wouldn't have any time together and the event would require him to work even longer hours this week. Yes, I could understand why he was so visibly upset. He really had high hopes that we'd be together, strolling by the beach on Sunday night, but it came crashing down like the heavy rain when I dropped him off at Island Hospital later that night.

So, I didn't attend the meeting that I was supposed to on Monday night. That night would just be for him. At least I made him happier. At least he got the Pooh hug, among other things. Sometimes, it feels like I still needed to get used to the fact that I'm no longer single and have another to take care of. Sometimes I still feel inadequate that I can't fulfill some of his wishes, but I'll keep trying.

Life is pretty demanding for me right now, and I'm still in process of adapting...