Thursday, January 8, 2009

Two Months in a Relationship

Well, to be exact, it has been 2 months and 1 week since we started. How is it going so far? I'd say we're both doing alright. I'm still discovering many things about Bobo, both good and bad. I'm not expecting much since we're early into the relationship, but I just need to remember to go with the flow and not put any pressure on him.

Bobo is more of a happy-go-lucky person. He doesn't like to think too much, but sometimes just needs a nudge in the right direction. A good piece of advise from my best friend Joe, is that I should not impose what I think is right and push him into it. Sound advise, and I'm learning to do just that. I need to remember that he's my BF, and I'm not his parent, so I just need to be there to support him when he needs it. His life, although currently shared with mine, is still his own. He's only 19 after all, so he needs to learn how to make his way in life on his own. That ship is not mine to steer, but maybe I could help read the compass by his side =)

One thing that worries me is that we're not as close as I want us to be yet. I'm the type of person who likes to talk, communicate and express myself, especially to the person I love. I believe it's very important for a couple to constantly communicate and share our thoughts, emotions and perceptions. It keeps the relationship alive, draws us closer and keeps us honest about how we feel about each other. At times, I'm concerned that our age gap (he's 9 years younger than I am) might affect us. There aren't much topics that we can talk about. I guess only time will tell if this will change. To me, a relationship means connecting at a deeper level between two people. It also means accepting each other's flaws and being able to compromise with each other.

Bobo can be short-tempered or moody sometimes, but usually when he's stressed from his job or just tired. He's still young and might not manage his emotions well so, I usually dismiss it since he's not in the right state of mind when he lashes out at me, and it's usually brief anyways. He did anger me a few times, but he knows how to win me back. He can be sweet enough to melt my heart at times and knows how to hit my soft spot. He calls me lo gong nowadays, which I think is chooo sweet =)

Usually, he doesn't talk much about his problems, and prefers to suppress them, something which I don't agree upon, but I can't force him to do it. I believe that he'll deal with them in his own time and way. Occasionally, he does ask me if he needs help to point him in the right direction.

Bobo is wary when I bring him out to meet my friends, since twice before he bumped into his ex. We call each other almost every night after work. We don't talk much on the phone usually, but draw some comfort in hearing each other's voices. He can be a bit unreasonable and wants his way sometimes. He is just 19 after all, so I usually comply if it's within my means. He doesn't force me into anything that I disapprove of.

He has a smile that would make angels sing and melt the thickest iceberg. Sometimes he'd catch me just staring at him. A few times, he caught me watching him in his sleep. He loves chocolates, ice-cream and cute teddies, which I think is adorable. He still has most of his youth to live out, sometimes I'm glad that I get to be apart of it. Sometimes I wish he would mature a bit faster so we'd have more things to talk about. Well, I can't rush him and no one is perfect, and it's our flaws that make us unique.

All in all, I think we're doing just fine. After all, it's only been 2 months...and 1 week =)

9 comments:

Bengbeng said...

you are on the right track. not intrude into another's private space. any plant will need lots of space for its roots to grow and sunshine. if in the shadow of a big tree it will eventually wither n yellow

Mark said...

Yeah, thanks bengbeng.

How's everything? Back in KL?

GatitaParda said...

hey thr boy! happy new year! just wanna say sumthn abt the age gap, my hubz is 8 yrs my junior and we havent had a single conversation-less moment since we met! the gap will always b thr so long as u r conscious abt it, i've learnt to lower my expectations & meet him halfway on certain thgs but on subject matters tht he's expert on, i expct him to lower his expctation and meet me halfway. fair deal, non?

Mark said...

Yeah Jann, I get what you're saying. I'll remember that, thanks babe =)

Queer Ranter said...

Gosh! Happy for yea! Hope things work out between you and him.

As for the age, well I'm dating with an older guy too. Things are going on alright thus far. So long as we can click is fine I guess. :)

Mark said...

Yeah, chemistry and good communication is pertinent =)

Calvin said...

He's afraid to go out with you because he bumped into his ex? What's there to be embarrassed, right? Could it be he's afraid to bump into his another bf? You better be careful and stay alert. I don't want you to get hurt and fooled by a cute thing. After all, he's only 19, and it's the age of fun to all 19 guys. You've been 19 before, so you should know what it feels like.

Mark said...

Calvin, thanks for being so concerned about me. I know cute young things can tend to be a bit to be playful but he doesn't give me that impression, even now. I trust him very much right now.

Also, I only came out and was active in the PLU scene in my mid-20s.

cookiedonut said...

aww... such a cute couple...

all d best to u two ^^