Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I'm Sorry...

I'm sorry that you think I look bad or ugly, I'm sorry that I wasn't born with a perfect face like yours.
I'm sorry that I can never say that another person looks ugly, I'm sorry if I think that no one should be judged based solely on their physical self.
I'm sorry about my facial scars, I'm sorry that my face was stricken with acne since my teenage years.
I'm sorry that it's not within my control although I've spent thousands on treatment and many products, I'm sorry that I can't afford much of that anymore.
I'm sorry if you think my dearest deserves someone much better looking or richer, I'm sorry that I try to make it up to him by loving him and treating him well.
I'm sorry if you think my hair makes me look stupid, I'm sorry if you think that even my eyebrows look ugly.
I'm sorry that I don't have nice teeth like you, I'm sorry that you might think I look like an idiot when I laugh.
I'm sorry that I don't have a good sense of fashion or style, I'm sorry that I can't afford to follow high fashion and need some time to work on my style.
I'm sorry that I keep wearing the same clothes sometimes, I'm sorry that I don't have a lot of nice clothes.
I'm sorry that I can't afford all the expensive places and stuff that you have, I'm sorry that I need to be careful with my cash.
I'm sorry that I can't afford to shop a lot, I'm sorry that I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth.
I'm sorry that I don't have a lot of money, I'm sorry that I have to save money for the future and in case of emergencies.
I'm sorry that my so-called father doesn't support my family at all, I'm sorry that my mum had to toil so hard for almost 15 years and single-handedly provide everything for my sister and I.
I'm sorry that I value the money I earn and don't want to simply spend, I'm sorry that I have to chip in to help my family.
I'm sorry that I can't live a lavish lifestyle like you, I'm sorry that I pity my mum and don't want to burden her financially ever again.
I'm sorry that my family is not rich nor perfect like yours, I'm sorry that we faced financial problems most of our lives.
I'm sorry that my family is not as close as yours, I'm sorry that my parents haven't spoken to each other willingly for a long, long time.
I'm sorry I'm not as popular as you, I'm sorry that I'm not as sought after as you.
I'm sorry that you think I'm pathetic, I'm sorry that I'm not as cool as you.
I'm sorry that I'm sensible and practical and choose to do the right thing, I'm sorry that I can't afford too many mistakes.
I'm sorry that my job isn't as glamorous or high paying as yours, I'm sorry that I need to work hard to keep myself afloat.
I'm sorry that I can't afford an expensive foreign car, I'm sorry that I only drive a Wira.
I'm sorry that I don't live in a luxurious apartment, condo, house or mansion in an upscale neighbourhood like you, I'm sorry my family could only afford a couple of low-cost 2-bedroom flats side-by-side.
I'm sorry that I'm haven't even been on a plane, I'm sorry that I haven't even been out of the country.
I'm sorry that I'm not well-travelled like you. I'm sorry that I can't afford much of that too.
I'm sorry that I don't have any famous or popular friends like you do, I'm sorry that I only have a handful of really good friends whom I love and cherish.
I'm sorry that I choose to be humble because I know there is always someone better than me, I'm sorry that I don't like use anyone's shortcomings to make them feel bad about themselves.
I'm sorry that I have low self-esteem and feel inferior sometimes, I'm sorry I don't suffer from superiority complex like you do and belittle everyone else.
I'm sorry that I can't be selfish, I'm sorry that I tend to think of others most of the time.

Most of all...

I'm sorry that I heard the stuff that you said behind my back and to my face.
I'm sorry that some of the things you said actually hurts.
I'm so sorry because no matter what, I will keep smiling and moving on.
I'm so sorry that my life won't stop just because you said those things.
I'm so sorry that I'm thankful that I'm not handicapped, terminally ill, destitute, homeless, or a bad person.

PS: This post has nothing to do with my BF or our relationship. Nor am I feeling sorry for myself, read it again to grasp the true meaning =)

10 comments:

Kenny said...

You know Mark...I can't help but feel sorry for you after reading your post. Guess you are having trouble with ur relationship. Well, I always believe if someone loves you because of what you have, then that love will never last and is never genuine. True love is hard to find and sometimes I know we will never seek it even till the day we die. But I rather be lonely and pour all the love on someone who really love me, example my mom, then on someone who don't love me and only love what I can give him. Don't let them bring you down. Most important is remember you did nothing wrong, you did your best and is that person who do not appreciate what you have done. So, show your love on those who will appreciate it :) May you find your true love one day

Mark said...

Thanks Kenny, but this post is not directed to my dearest. Our relationship needs some work, but it's fine so far and has nothing to do with this post. I've heard certain things said about me but this isn't a post to feel sorry about myself either.

I wrote this post in such as way as to make those who say bad things about other people, feel bad about what they did. Does that make sense to you? The fact that people says bad things about you, without even knowing you, ticks me off sometimes.

Bengbeng said...

you are one very confusing person. If I had not read the above comment, I couldnt help but be mislead. :)

I am sorry but I don't agree with at least half of what you wrote in this post. Heck, you are one cool built up guy who would turn heads of any normal male/female who has hormones raging thru their innards.

Mark said...

Hi bengbeng! Nice to hear from you again XD

Anyways, perhaps it can be confusing and clear only to me. That's why I put a PS there after Kenny's comment. Basically, I'm writing about what some people have thought of me before, and some even do now. A lot of people like to judge, but don't bother to know the details of that person, or a person's life before doing so.

Thanks for your compliments, I'm still learning to take good things said about me and not refute them.

Twilight Zone said...

Haiyoh, then write more straight forward lah instead of having hidden agenda. Anyway, you are such a confident dude, so no need to say sorry so panjang for nothing. I would never say sorry for no mistakes done. It is such a big word.

Ban said...

Erm, I didn't mistake it as something written for your dearest. I hope people are not still talking behind your back. (or at least, there's no reason for them to)

Mark said...

I think people are always talking behind your back, whether it's good or bad =P

Bengbeng said...

people talking behind our backs are a reality of life

Vivien Lim said...

Hey Mark,
I really enjoyed this collumn of your post. It's awesome. I feel sorry about certain things sometimes too.
Instead of being sorry for what you don't have, let's be thankful of what we do have. OK? ;-)

Mark said...

Hey Vivi dear, I agree with you. Always give thanks for having your needs met and for everything that you already have =)