Somehow, I've lost the will to blog. I don't really have the time nor the energy to write about anything late, which explains my 2 month hiatus. Work has been a bitch and the rat race has intensified over the course of this year. But fret not, that was also the call for me to get pro-active in order to have a better life and future. I'm determined not to stay average or mediocre. I want more than what life has to give right now. I want a better life. A LOT BETTER.
Life is much of a blur sometimes, thanks to my current job. And I'm still striving to get out of it. In fact, wish me luck for an interview this Saturday =)
On brighter note, zai2 and I are back together now, and we've been so for more than 3 months since our 'break-up'. What to do, he's still stuck to me like glue. Someday, I might need to have him surgically removed from me. During the course of our 'break-up', I imagined what life would be like without him. He knew me well, adjusted to my temperaments and even my family liked him. He cheered for my dreams and aspirations, and brought further cheer into my life. We did have a couple of arguments during that time and almost did break-up for real.
Then, I imagined what life would truly be without him, and I would be back to square one. Alone and striving to find that which would fill the void in my heart. Even if I were to find someone else, I would have to go through an entire cycle of mutual discoveries that new couples go through. Why would I want to put myself through all that when one who truly loves me is already in front of me? Doubts faded and a deeper affection arose. At the time when I almost lost him, was the time I found out that I needed him, as he did me.
We're not a perfect couple. We have our ups and downs. We struggle just like everyone else. But, all I know is that the thought of really losing him left me with an aching pain. A sudden, dark void that felt physical. An emptiness devoid of joy. I guess I didn't really feel it when we 'broke-up' because he was always around me. At the height of our arguments, a real break-up was at the brink of coming true. And that was when I found out how much I still loved him. Isn't it a bitch how much you truly appreciate something once it's gone, or almost gone in my case?