Financially Challenged

"Money is not the most important thing in the world, but it is important for most things in life"

Do you agree with this quote? People who actually believe that money is the root of all evil, should try to argue the destitute, homeless and financially bankrupt. If you still believe that, by all means, I would love to relieve you from that 'evil'. And people who believe that are also those with the most money and arguably, might have too much time to think and conjure up such nonsensical notion. A gun doesn't kill people, people kill people.

My life has taken a financial backseat in the past couple of years. Added commitments and some unfortunate incidents have caused inevitable outward monetary surge from my coffers, and this has become a source of self-inflicted stress. Don't get me wrong, I'm not approaching poverty any time soon. But, I am the type of person who believes in saving for a rainy day. Wisely cautious or borderline paranoid, however you want to put it, I'm always wary that shit might happen, which would require digging into any cash reserves. So, it is distressing to me that the meagre digits in my bank account haven't given birth to more digits, and have been quite stagnant in the past couple of years. Right now, my expenses (which is quite little) and commitments are almost equal to my salary.

I'm not a big spender. In fact, I haven't been shopping for a long time and my very limited wardrobe bores me to tears. I've been wearing my worn out gym sneakers for almost everything for almost 2 years. My social life in Penang (and KL) is like Lindsay Lohan's career, almost dead. I'm in need of a lot of things right now, and I'm tempted to just throw caution into the wind (or in front of a speeding bus) and get them.

However, I've come to realize that life is how you choose to be. I've been making myself feel miserable for the past year. 2010 felt like hell for me coz I was stressing myself out. And for what? It's not as if money will come crashing down from the heavens if I choose to indulge in self-inflicted worries. Instead, I should re-adjust my focus. Shift my mental energy to observe what I truly have, and what I can do to improve it. A brand new car (coz my old one got totaled thanks to dad), a steady roof over my head, a brand new computer, enough food to eat every day; basically the necessities (yes, a PC is a necessity for me, like my liver). Sure, I'm not as rich or fabulous as the next wealthy snob, but my life doesn't suck ass either.

Whatever the circumstances, we ultimately choose how we react towards it. Circumstances won't change, we change. There is no merit dwelling in despair, nor indulging in negative self-talk. We are who we choose to be, whether you believe it or not. Also, I leave you with this...

"The wealthiest person is not the one with the most money, but the one with the least debts".

This is SO true...well, in my books anyways =)

Still Self-conscious

I used to be fat in my late teens into early adulthood. On top of that, I had bad skin and acne problems. It's probably no wonder that I've been very uncomfortable under my skin ever since. Even though I've come so far and improved by leaps and bounds, I've never quite gotten over being physically self-conscious. Although that feeling has toned down considerably since those dark days of self-bashing and deep-seated self-loathing, I've never really been able to shake it off entirely. Yes, I know that everyone struggles with their own insecurities, and may even triumph over 'em if you consciously work to overcome them. Subsequently, I've always figured that I'd have gotten rid of it by now.

I'm still self-conscious about how I look topless. So much so that I've never taken my shirt off even to my closest friends. Sure, I've always been working out regularly and in fact, fitness has become so routine for me and the gym is like my second home. Sure, my body is miles away from what it used to be, and I've grown some muscle on me bones, but I'm still embarrassed that I don't look as good as I should for someone who goes to the gym. To this day, I'm still not able to take my shirt off in public except that one time when I was clubbing in KL on new year's and my friends pulled my shirt off and shoved me on stage. How sad T.T

I still find it difficult to smile in front of the camera, since I'm not the least bit photogenic. Thankfully, my skin has improved dramatically, and I owe it all to Artistry (let me know if your interested). At least I look more pleasant in photos now, but I still dread the stare of the camera occasionally. And I can't endure close-ups. They reveal the nooks and crannies that should be concealed under piles of make-up, but I never wear make-up. Nor do I touch up any of my photos. So, whatever you see on Facebook is the REAL DEAL. Call if pride or whatever you want, but I don't believe in falsifying my own image in a bid to improve the viewers expectation of myself. I believe that should you want to friend me, you should be sincere and like the person that I am. Furthermore, what's the use for you to make photos of yourself so utterly gorgeous, only to end up bombing the person's expectation when he/she finally meets you? Potong steam I tell you. Might as well be just who you are =)

Yeah, I know this post is supposed to be about me being all self-conscious, but I gotta insert something positive in there. A long time ago, I've made up my mind to avoid negative stuff or be whiny about myself. When I started this blog, it was more about self-expression, whether it be good or bad. However, my posts were more negative back then. So I'm glad to say, it's taken a turn for the better in recent years. And my posts are way happier these days =)

Maria Aragon And Lady Gaga

Maria Aragon is a Filipino-Canadian girl from Winnipeg, Canada. Her mother is a native Filipina from Ormoc, Leyte, Philippines.

On February 16 2011, a video of Maria performing a cover of "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga was posted to her sister's YouTube channel to showcase Maria's talent to friends and family. The video caught Lady Gaga's attention and she was so impressed and moved to tears by Maria's performance that she retweeted a link to the video to her eight million followers and showcased it in the Facebook page, causing a sensation and launching Maria to instant international fame. The video garnered over 10 million views on YouTube in five days. In 6 days, her video, "Born This Way - (Cover)" on Youtube had reached about 19 million views.

Ellen DeGeneres took notice of her from Lady Gaga's tweet and invited Maria to appear on her show on February 21, 2011, where Maria again performed "Born This Way" on the piano earning a standing ovation from the audience. You know it's another dream come true when you're on Ellen (think Charice!).

Toronto's Virgin Radio 99.9, was the among the first media outlets to reach out to Maria and attempted to fly Maria and her family to Toronto so that Maria could perform live on air but it was cancelled due to the weather. During an interview on HOT 103 in Winnipeg, Lady Gaga called into the show to tell Maria how moved she had been by her performance. Lady Gaga then invited an already surprised Maria to perform "Born This Way" with her at The Monster Ball Tour concert in Toronto in March, an offer which Maria enthusiastically accepted.

On March 3, 2011, Maria joined Lady Gaga on stage in front of a packed audience at the Air Canada Centre, where together they performed an acoustic duet of "Born this Way" with Maria sitting on Gaga's lap, playing piano and Lady Gaga working the pedals. At the end of the song, Gaga turned the microphone over to Maria who thanked the audience and Gaga for allowing her to perform.

Maria's so sweet and Gaga's got a big heart. Love 'em both =)

Born This Way

I just LOOOOOVE the lyrics of this song. This one is closer to being a awesome rock song instead of her more eccentric hits but the MV is one of Gaga's freakiest yet!~

I really adore the message and beat more than any eccentricities or how much of a club hit it would be.

It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'Cause you were born this way, baby

My mama told me when I was young
We're all born superstars
She rolled my hair, put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir

"There's nothin' wrong with lovin' who you are"
She said, "'Cause He made you perfect, babe"
"So hold your head up, girl and you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say"

I'm beautiful in my way,
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
(Born this way)

Ooo, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
(Born this way)
Ooo, there ain't other way
Baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be!

Give yourself prudence and love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice the truth
In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth

A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-I-M (hey, hey, hey)
I love my life, I love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah

I'm beautiful in my way,
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Ooo, there ain't no other way

Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
(Born this way )
Ooo, there ain't other way
Baby, I was born way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

(Queen, Don't be, Queen)

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're Lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby, you were born this way

No matter gay, straight or bi
lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
chola or orient-made
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to be brave

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, yeah!

Ooo, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
(Born this way)
Ooo, there ain't other way
Baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

I was born this way, hey!
I was born this way, hey!
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, hey!

I was born this way, hey!
I was born this way, hey!
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, hey!

Lady Gaga performs "Born This Way" live At the 53rd Annual GRAMMY Awards.

I love that she can sing REALLY well live. No synching or auto-tuning, even while dancing. This just shows how musically talented she really is. Love Lady Gaga!~

It Has Been A Year

Who'd have thunk that when I went out with zai2 for the first time, we would be together up to a year? As of 3 March, a year has gone by since we declared ourselves officially as a couple. Last Thursday, we had a great dinner at one of my favorite Japanese restaurants, Soba Yoshi at Krystal Point. Great tasting, authentic (you know it's good when plenty of Japanese ex-pats and foreigners eat there regularly) and fresh food with large portions and prices from reasonable to extravagant, I just can't get enough of it. Zai2 knows I love it, so he insisted we had there. I was paying anyways =p

Months ago, I won a lucky draw from the company's team-building event at Hydro Majestic Hotel at Batu Ferringhi. The prize was a voucher for a free 2D1N stay there as well, inclusive of breakfast. As soon as I won it, I HAD to reserve it for zai2. I knew he'd love it, since we rarely got to travel and stay together. The room was spacious and satisfactorily clean, especially the bathroom. I have NO tolerance for dirty toilets or bathrooms. We checked in at around 3:30pm there, settled down our things and was prepared to head out again. I planned to watch a movie at TGV since we both love the seats and popcorn there. However, zai2 got a little too 'excited' and we left at around 5pm instead.

We arrived at 1st Avenue almost an hour later and I was STARVING, thanks to the activity prior. We headed to the cinema to check out the movies and decided on I Am Number Four at 6.55pm. Then, we headed down to the lower ground floor to Old Town for some light snacks. I had a couple of soft-boiled Omega 3 eggs and a single PB toast, whilst zai2 ordered the indulgent french toast. Zai2 left half for me to finish since I was so famished, and pounded away on his PSP. After all that and popcorn later in the movies, fat die me ><

I Am Number Four was pretty good. Storyline was simple and straightforward, the protagonist was smokin' hot and the action was outstanding, especially at the end. It is just me or is TGV's screen bigger? Seriously, the hero was shirtless a bunch of times (not complaining here XD) and his nipples were almost the size of my head...which is also HAWT! Also, it's my first time in a BEANIEPLEX! RM 13 per person for a couple-seat bean bag chairs, I HAD TO TRY IT OUT (very jakun here). As soon as I stepped into the beanieplex, I knew some couples were regulars, brought blankets somemore.

After the movie, we met up with Dennis at Coffee Bean in Gurney Plaza, since zai2 wanted to try out the new yogurt dessert they have there. He ordered the yogurt parfait, which was quite alright. A pleasant chat and some roaring laughter later, we headed to the nearby hawker center for some light supper. By the time we got back to the hotel, I was pooped. I didn't get much sleep that night. Zai2 was in sticky mode, so he wanted to cuddle and sleep...but that gina was like a worm, wriggling here and there during the night. As a result, I woke up multiple times T.T

On Sunday morning, we headed to the beach opposite the hotel after breakfast. Climbed some rocks, smashed some barnacles growing on rocks and watched a elderly woman opening oysters on some rocks. We walked around for a short while before zai2 complained it was getting hot. By the time we got back to the hotel, he complained that his legs were hurting from all the stairs. Hehe, what a little diva! We packed up and still had a little time to spare so zai2 got 'excited' again. So we ended up checking out 30 mins late, luckily still can get my deposit back =P

All in all, I could see that zai2 was really happy over the weekend =)

Happy 1 year anniversary zai2!~

2 Friggin' Weeks!

Yeah, it's been THAT long since I last updated. Not coz I was lazy or anything, but life has been a huge handful lately.

As of today, it's been 3 months into the new job. Still trying to grasp the elaborate processes required but one major thing that sticks out like a sore thumb. There are SOOO MANY DOCUMENTS! Seriously, I come from a paperless environment in my last job, and this is something I still have trouble adjusting to. Everything has to be printed out, submitted and kept for documentation. I think I will kill a small tree every three months. We are a global company and I find it ridiculous that we're taking part in Go Green initiatives and using so much paper.

Also, file organization in the system is almost non-existent. In simpler terms, it's a freakin' mess. So properly revision control, lack of updates and plenty of incomplete documents. Sometimes I can't really blame them. The amount of documents to print, file and keep is tremendous!

What I MISS THE MOST is the flexibility and freedom I used to have. I miss coming and going as I please. I miss submitting my leaves online and adjusting as needed at any time. Here, I wanna go on half day leave also have to submit two forms and wait for boss's approval before I can get out of the plant.

I won't even bother to mention what a bother it is not to have internet. How the hell am I going it google for WOW stuff, Facebook all day, update my blog and watch Youtube work stuff then? One good thing is that I don't park my ass in front of the desk most of the time, except if I have some documents to do. Or else, I'd bore myself to death. So I'm usually up and about.

Our production is FILLED female operators, mostly Malay or Indon, that like to give awkward stares every time I pass by in production. Sorry ladies, even with enough make-up on to kill a wild elephant, and even though I think some of you are actually gorgeous...I'm not interested. Why aren't there any cute guy operators? Sigh ><

The big kahuna has begun dumping numerous projects on me, when I'm still in the dark about most of the processes here, so I'm kinda struggling to keep myself afloat. Communication really needs to improve here, especially for some colleagues in my own department. Giving me bits and pieces and incomplete info and you expect me to perform optimally?

On the other hand, I do enjoy the company of my colleagues. I find them to be matured, nice, friendly and kinda fun. I felt a sense of welcome as soon as I began as they included me in most of their activities right away. The organization in my office isn't that huge, so everyone basically know each other, making it seem like a more closely knit community. That, and the slightly higher salary are the only positives that I can derive at the moment. It's no wonder when some of the older folks would bet on how many of the new people would actually stay for long. Recently, a new person in probation left after just 5 months =/

Exactly a month ago, I went for an interview (surprise, surprise!) in one of the top US companies that sells one of the world's best technologies *hint*. I really hope I can get it. They are still in the process of selection, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed since there are 4 positions available and only 10 people, including myself interviewed for that position.

Pray for me...will you? =)