The Reasons Why (Part 1)

I realized that when it comes to expressing myself in words, I tend to be sloppy or even worse, unable to express myself in the way I wanted. Maybe because I don't have a strong vocab, so my choice of words are limited to plain English. Well whatever it is, I failed the first time and I would like to try again :)

Well, here goes...

7 months into relationship with my dear hubby and it is still going strong I might say. Still misses him like hell even though we met often. 2 weeks without him was literally like hell to me. Thankfully, he calls and SMSes me very often which I like very much. We still love to be around with one another and he likes to makes me go "humph" and of course I like to make him go "humph" too :P

Yesterday, a question just came into my mind, "Why do I love this big bear bear so much?" and I found that there are more reasons than one.

Physically speaking, he is not the handsome until like a superstar kind of guy nor he is super fit like how a sportsman is. Just like Jason, I do not expect my other half to be all handsome, cute and perfect. To me, I would only admire and goes all high and neigh (a random rhyme) when I saw those too-perfect-to-be-true guys. I prefer imperfections and that's what makes my Marky perfect :)

Imperfection is perfect

I find him cute and adorable despite what people had said about him. He had been smacked in the face with the word "Ugly" and I would like to smack those people back in the face with a mirror for saying him so. I had never find him ugly or anything alike ever since we first met thanks to Zemien gor gor. All this while, what I expected from my other half was an average looking guy but now, what I get is more than an average looking guy. So, what else can I ask for? He is definitely definitely NOT ugly (yes, I am stressing this) and he's cute in some way. The seriousness of his face just makes me melt at the sight of it even though his pooh pooh brows makes me giggle sometimes lol! I too do not expect my other half to be all buffed up and wow...he is seriously buffed up. Just to make some of you guys jealous, imagine this, you get to be hugged by a hunk and the tenderness of the muscle is just...indescribable! At the same time, you get to hug them back and feel the flesh of it and the best of all, IT HE IS YOURS!!! So, what else could I asks for? I loooooove to be hugged and in truth, I had always been searching for someone to hug me and to really feel the love they put in the hug and this hunky's hug is just purrfect. Those hugs I received from my son of a bitch-es Ex's are full of lusts and nothing more. His is nothing about lust... I loooove knowledge even though I don't really practice all that has been bestowed upon me and Marky has all the knowledge I could've asked for. He's clever, matured and he's not like those people who just do stuff without thinking about the consequences. See, he scored another point in my imaginary "The criteria to be my bf" list. I have had a dumb ex who talks about real dinosaur in this era and godd...I still remember I was arguing with him about it the WHOLE DAMN NIGHT! I do feel that I am more matured thinking now that I am with him and I am really grateful for that. I really love the way he corrects me when I am wrong despite the fact that I would be hard-headed sometimes and refuses to listen to his advice :P Still, all in all, the arguments we had do makes me more matured thinking. I do not rant about the lack of time nor do I have those bad thoughts thinking that he might be cheating on me and so on anymore. Seriously, back then when I was with those son of a bitch-es ex-es, I used to think that they're cheating on me (in which 50% of those cases are true). I have a lot of free time and like what he taught me, "An idle mind is a devil's workshop", I tend to think a lot (of nonsense) until those time time issue happened. Now, I don't think about those stupid unnecessary thoughts anymore. See, that's how much I've changed. He has his career to think about and I had changed from the fact of a sticky-icky kind of person to a do-what-you-want kind of person.

There will be a lot of time ahead of us so, why should I rant about the lack of time? Instead of wasting time ranting the lack of time together, why not I just appreciate and enjoy the time we have when we are together?

Broadway For The Trevor Project

Broadway stars rock out in a celebration of life, in the wake of the string of LGBT suicides. Please SHARE this original song and video to help send a message of hope and support.

God, I'm lovin' this. Don't give up, it gets better.

*hugs*

2 Weeks Apart

Zai2 has been really sick whole of last week. He came down with a shivering, cold fever overnight early last week and waited for 3 days before he actually went to the doctor. By the time he went, according to the doctor, he had already contracted a secondary infection, complete with a swollen and inflamed throat, coughing, gastric attacks, nausea and recurring fever. I told him to see the doctor as soon as he had the initial cold fever, coz by then, no amount of panadol is gonna get rid of it for good. Infection has set in, immunity is down and his body's temperature has already gone haywire. When I asked him why he waited 3 days, he said he didn't wanna waste money ><

Someone please reprimand the stingy, auntie side of him, can? I already did but I'm sure he'd love the attention. Anyhow, up till last weekend, his ailments have subsided but his appetite isn't back yet and he's still tired all the time. But, that didn't stop him from going on a picnic early yesterday morning and get buried in the sand that was shaped like a transexual mermaid!~

We hadn't seen each other for almost 2 weeks, but we're both still pretty busy last weekend, so only managed to spend time for dinner. Anyhow, he's going to get a temp job soon after just completing his IT diploma. It'll be a good idea, since everytime I wanna ask him to go out, all he'd say is 'bo lui' ><

Noroi

Noroi (The Curse) is a 2005 Japanese horror film made in the form of a mockumentary. It describes Masafumi Kobayashi, a paranormal expert who produced a series of books and movies on supernatural activity around Japan. He disappeared in the process of making his greatest and most disturbing film yet, The Curse. This film has not been seen much out of Japan, and is pretty lengthy at 2 hours.

I've just finished watching Noroi on Youtube. Let me warn you, if J-horror movies like Dark Water, Ringu or Ju-On gave you a bad scare, this movie will utterly mind-rape you and is a lot more disturbing. What makes Noroi so engagingly spine-chilling is the fact that the entire film is shot with a hand-held camera, and any shocking footage looks VERY real, hence a lot more disturbing. If you're a fan of watching reality shows or documentaries about the paranormal, Noroi is DEFINITELY for you.

And unlike similar western films, such as The Blair Witch Project, Noroi unabashedly reveals what was lurking in the darkness and any fucked-up imagery that the characters were seeing at the time. Noroi does a great job in creating an eerie atmosphere of fear from both creepy music and voices and strange paranormal phenomenon. In some scenes, you KNOW you're about the see something REALLY fucked-up, but morbid curiosity takes over and you just can't seem to look away.

Like most J-horror films, the plot can be rather scattered and shown in different time intervals. You'll find a hard time linking anything together and the different events don't seem to be related at all, but it won't really matter. Inevitably, everything begins to piece together in the second-half of the film. And the ending...really sums it up and will prove to be very shocking. The story and concept is both unique and outstanding. The cast were really excellent and believable to the point that it makes you wonder if this is really a film, or did it really happen in real life.

While J-horror films have a tendency to have some slow intervals throughout the film, there wasn't a dull moment in Noroi. From beginning till the end, it just grabs you and feeds your hunger to know what the hell is really going on. The only complaint I have is that some of the questions that were left unanswered but that's just a minor flaw to me. The entire movie definitely made up for it. Kudos to the Koji Shiraishi for this creation.

Leave it to the Japs to create really messed up horror. Noroi can give you some seriously disturbing chills and you might have trouble sleeping at night. I just hope the US doesn't suddenly get a hold of this and decide to make a crappy remake to ruin it.

Finally, It's Done

It's time for a move. I just threw the letter on 30 September. I should have done it much earlier, but I needed to get out of my comfort zone. Four years into the job, you're comfortable doing what you do to a certain degree, despite the unfavorable circumstances. No doubt, I'm thankful that I'm able to survive two rounds of VSS and keep earning. However, I can't shake the feeling of being stuck in something that was already at a dead end. In fact, I had already lost any hope of going higher in my third year here. And with that, I felt unappreciated and eventually discouraged.

Ironically, the economic recession decided to reel it's ugly head and employers everywhere reeled in their fishing rods, shutting out any bites until recovery was in place, so I was stuck here into the fourth year. One regret I had was not taking the second VSS which came in December last year. I could seriously use the money and that would have been the perfect spark for me to aggressively pursue a new career. My gut feeling told me to take it, but mum advised against it. Being in the employment field and in a HR dept to boot, of course I took her advice. Much to a slight distaste that is.

But what's done is done, and what matters is now. They offered me the job 2 weeks after the interview in August. Somehow, I knew that I would be getting it, as the interview went swimmmingly. What ensued after the job offer call was a month of relentless negotiation on my new salary. I was disappointed at what they were offering (still am), even though it was little improvement. Long story short, I decided to take up the new job for two obvious reasons; distance, and higher basic pay. I'd be back working in Penang island, after 4 years of driving to the mainland. It would definitely save me some time, effort and money.

However, the small boost of income won't be enough to entice me to stay for long, although it's what they're offering in probation. HR claimed that there would be a salary increase after probation ends but who knows how much it would be. It could just be a insignificant blot of cash, and I'm leaning towards that since negotitations was an epic fail. They couldn't even meet me halfway on my expected. I even turned down the new HR's offer to buy me off from my current company, as that would include a 1 year bind in my contract. No can do, if I don't get a good income boost after the probation, don't expect me to stay behind. It takes two to tango. Why should I give you what you want, when you don't even try to satisfy my needs? I'll give it a year at best. If nothing gets better, this will just be another stepping stone and I can demand more at my next job.

DON'T question me about loyalty. I have bills and other commitments to pay.