Bloggers Help to Spread Love for the Children at the Penang Shan Children’s Home Association

Penang, 3rd February 2013 — About 40 bloggers and public visited the Penang Shan Children’s Home Association to distribute food, beverages and gadgets, sponsored by various commercial entities. It’s a philanthropic exercise not only by businesses in executing their Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) but by everyone to give back to the society, thus making life more bearable for everyone in need. The event is made possible by Crowdpot Sdn Bhd (Event Organizer), Ninetology Malaysia, SUBWAY® (Suntech, iAvenue, & Leith Street branches), Chatime Malaysia, Langkawi Saga Travel & Tours Sdn. Bhd. and Alextan Artworks.

Penang Shan Children’s Home (PSCH) began as a dream and initiative of Dr. S Balakrishnan in the year 2005. This is a non-religious and a non-profit, non-governmental organization catering to the needs of orphans, neglected children, dysfunctional families and single parents. The home was built and officially launched on 14th December 2008 by Madam Chan Siew Har. PSCH’s mission is to maximize the attractive opportunities that are stored in the children; to make something happen; to change the ways that things are and to create something that no one else has ever created before for the children, to explore for opportunities; to provide guidance and course correction; maintaining focus on being consistent and persistent. The objectives are both short and on a long term basis. The short term objective is to provide all the children with a safe and supportive environment. The focus will be on the development of physical, mental, emotional, educational, social and recreational skills that will create awareness to structure and mould the child’s future.

The longer term development includes the options that are available for the child’s future, supporting them to complete the tertiary education preferably to University level. For those who are unable to complete the basic education, they would be trained in developing their skills by educating them in skill training centers. Through home visits and working with parents, they would like to ensure that eventually the child is reunited with his/her family thus becoming the backbone of the family.

How to help Penang Shan Children’s Home Association?

1. Adopt-A-Child Program

The average monthly expenditure per child amounts to RM400. This includes lodging, education, meals, transportation and pocket money. Interested members of the public can contact the home.

2. Donation

The home solely depends on donation to meet the relatively high running cost. They would be very grateful members of the public or private companies can step forward to contribute a one-off or monthly fixed donation. Interested entity can contact the home.

Other Information:
Penang Shan Children’s Home Association
679-D, Jalan Mount Erskine, Tanjung Tokong, 10470 Pulau Pinang
Tel: 04-2292186 / 016-4127711
Fax: 04-2292186
Email: shanchildrenhomepg@yahoo.com

Bloggers Help to Spread Love for the Children at the Children’s Protection Society

On 3 February 2013, about 40 bloggers and public the Children’s Protection Society to distribute food, beverages and gadgets, sponsored by various commercial entities. It’s a philanthropic exercise not only by businesses in executing their Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) but by everyone to give back to the society, thus making life more bearable for everyone in need. The event is made possible by Crowdpot Sdn Bhd (Event Organizer), Ninetology Malaysia, SUBWAY® (Suntech, iAvenue, & Leith Street branches), Chatime Malaysia, Langkawi Saga Travel & Tours Sdn. Bhd. and Alextan Artworks.

The Children’s Protection Society (CPS) began as an initiative of Dato’ Nazir Ariff when he was President of the Rotary Club in Penang (1991). It is a non-profit, non-governmental organization catering to the needs of neglected and/or abandoned children in Penang. It was officially launched in April 1992 by Puan Sri Chua Kah Peng. The objectives of CPS are both immediate and longer-term. The immediate objective is to provide children at risk with a safe, supportive and conducive environment (Shelter). Their concerned and focused areas include the emotional and physical development, education, social and recreational skills. At the same time, CPS aims to work with parents and other family members, so that the child can eventually be reunited with his/her family. In the pipeline, they hope to support projects to enhance community-based facilities for childcare and development in areas where such facilities are lacking. They also try to promote a more general awareness of the issues relating to children at risk by being involved in training and discussions. Hence they work together with various government and non-government organizations to help to develop longer-term strategies and goals.

How to help Children’s Protection Society?

1. Become a Volunteer: http://www.cpspg.org.my/webpages/help.html
Learning and Tuition is always needed - many of our children have missed a substantial amount of school due to their backgrounds, and often find it difficult to catch up with school work. If you are prepared for the extra challenges which many of our children face, and are prepared to commit a regular time a week (can be anything from an hour up).

2. Sponsor-A-Child Program: http://www.cpspg.org.my/webpages/help02.html

Talk to any of our staff if you are interested to sponsor a child

3. Donation: http://www.cpspg.org.my/webpages/help03.html

If you want to make a financial donation, please send cheques (payable to Children's Protection Society Pulau Pinang) to CPS at 118-A Jalan Scotland, 10450 Penang. CPS is a registered charity home with the Welfare Department so donations will be tax-exempt.

4. Sponsoring an Activity or Outing: http://www.cpspg.org.my/webpages/help04.html

CPS organizes many activities for the children, staff and volunteers. We welcome sponsorship of specific activities. Give us a call if you have any ideas of your own, or would like to hear from us on what sort of activities you could sponsor.

Other Information:
Children’s Protection Society Pulau Pinang

118-A Jalan Scotland, 10450 Penang, Malaysia
Tel: 04-8294046
Fax: 04-8294046
Email: cpspg@hotmail.com
Website: www.cpspg.org.my

Bloggers Help to Spread Love for the Children at The Ramakrishna Ashrama

On 3 February 2013, about 40 bloggers and public visited The Ramakrishna Ashrama in Penang to distribute food, beverages and gadgets, sponsored by various commercial entities. It’s a philanthropic exercise not only by businesses in executing their Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) but by everyone to give back to the society, thus making life more bearable for everyone in need. The event is made possible by Crowdpot Sdn Bhd (Event Organizer), Ninetology Malaysia, SUBWAY® (Suntech, iAvenue, & Leith Street branches), Chatime Malaysia, Langkawi Saga Travel & Tours Sdn. Bhd. and Alextan Artworks.

The Ramakrishna Ashrama (Orphanage), Penang is a charitable organization founded in 1938 under the inspiration and guidance of His Holiness Swami Bhaswarananda Maharaj who was then stationed at The Ramakrishna Mission, Singapore. Apart from spiritual activities, the Ashrama runs an orphanage, catering for both boys and girls with ages ranging from 6 to 20 years old.

The orphanage admits needy orphaned children who are poor and need the help from the society to assist them with basic needs and education. The children in the home are given proper education and are well cared for so that they will grow up to be useful citizens. Besides education, the girls learn traditional dancing, cooking and housekeeping. Children excelling well academically are encouraged to pursue higher education.

How to help The Ramakrishna Ashrama?

1. Sponsoring a Child Program: http://theramakrishnapg.org/2009/02/22/sponsor-a-child-program-in-ramakrishna-ashrama-penang/

The estimated cost to support a child at Ramakrishna Ashrama RM1,500 per annum. The breakdown cost is as follows:

Education: RM500
Food: RM600
Maintenance: RM300
Miscellaneous: RM100

2. Donation: https://www.cimbclicks.com.my/TIBSEPWeb/fpxPaymentToNGO_add.do?payeeId=FPXNGORAMA

Donation to The Ramakrishna can be done only via CIMB Cares (www.cimbclicks.com.my)

Orphan Admission: http://theramakrishnapg.org/2009/02/22/orphan-admission/

A child with either no parents or with a single parent who supports the child can be admitted to the Ashrama under the following circumstances:
- He/She is from age 6 and above.
- The parent or relatives has no means of supporting the child.
- The child has been mistreated or abused.
(Referred by the Jabatan Kebajikan Negeri or community leaders)

Other Information:
The Ramakrishna Ashrama
No 37, Jalan Scotland, 10450 Pulau Pinang
Tel: 04-2270869
Fax: 04-2278921
Email: ramkorp@hotmail.com
Website: http://theramakrishnapg.org/

Tasty Discoveries @ Sakae Sushi

This week, I was given the privilege to attend a event to sample some of Sakae Sushi's newest creations. By now, everyone should already be familiar with the friendly green frog from the outlet that offers scrumptious Japanese cuisine. Come on, isn't he just adorable?

Sakae offers a wide range of items on the menu that leaves you spoiled for choice, ranging from teppanyaki, yakimono, agemono, tempura, nabemono, Japanese noodles and donburi. While offering tasty Japanese delights at reasonable prices, Sakae is constantly innovative in creating new ways to offer customers the best value in terms of variety, food quality and dining experience.

The first dish to arrive was the Kaisen Salad (RM16.90), which looked both vibrant and appetizing. Top of the salad consisted of prawns, tuna flakes, snow crab leg and is strewn with shrimp roe. All this was sitting on a bed crunchy, raw cabbage and surrounded by lettuce, halved cherry tomatoes, blanched broccoli and seaweed. It came with a side of creamy goma (sesame) dressing. The prawns and crab tasted fresh, while the shrimp roe added a hint of saltiness that was just right. The dressing with really delicious and nutty, and really made the dish. I found myself wanting more in the end, as there were more salad than dressing, even after we mixed it through. The salad overall had great texture, with the crunchy assorted vegetables and the soft seafood.

Next up, came the Kaisen Pirikara Nabe (RM 24.90). It was an abundant and appetizing seafood hotpot that comprised of prawns, squid, salmon, Japanese fish-cake, scallop, assorted vegetables (napa cabbage, shiitake mushroom, hon-shimeji mushrooms, leeks and sliced onions) and some glass noodles in a kimchee soup. The seafood was fresh and not overcooked. The soup was flavorful, but the spiciness was definitely milder than Korean version. However, I felt that it lacked just a slight bit of saltiness, which would really add a bit more depth to the flavor of the soup and bring out a tad more savoriness. I added a small amount of shoyu and it was perfect.

After that, it was time for some new sushi dishes. First up was the Ebi Crepe (RM5.99). A luscious roll with whole-cooked prawn, crab stick, lettuce and egg mayonnaise wrapped in a light crepe layer. Taste-wise, it was just alright for me. It could use a bit more texture, as each bite was a bit too soft. Perhaps adding cucumber would be good, just for some crunch.

The Sakae Blossom (RM9.99) was just gorgeous and just as lovely to eat. It was an intricately-designed roll with very lightly grilled salmon as the blossom, with sides covered in shrimp roe and finished with small dollop of mayonnaise on top. It was easily one of my favorite sushi of the night. But then, I love anything with lots of shrimp or salmon roe =)

The Soft Shell Crab Maki (RM 5.99) was scrumptious. The combination of soft shell crab, sweet beancurd and spicy mayonnaise really made each bite sing. Also, I love anything with crispy soft shell crab, but who doesn't? =P

The Inari Avocado Ebi (RM7.99) was pretty good as well. The salad dressing, avocado and sweet beancurd skin combination was tasty but it wasn't as memorable for me.

Another favorite for me was the Hana Maki (RM9.99). It was a beautifully crafted flower rolls with delicate, fresh, raw salmon petals wrapping a sushi rice centre and topped generously with mayonnaise and shrimp roe. The richness of the salmon and mayo made each bite melt in my mouth.

The Hotate Mentaiyaki (RM20.90), which is succulent half-shell scallops grilled with cod fish roe, tasted both creamy and fresh. The scallops were still soft and slightly briny and cod fish roe tasted almost like mayo. I'm not sure if any mayo was added to the topping.

I've always loved the Genmaicha (brown rice tea, which is green tea combined with roasted brown rice) that is served in Sakae. The roasted brown rice really gives it a pronounced, toasty and delicious flavor.

The last item was the Curry Udon (RM12.90), which came with Japanese fishcake slices, chicken, cubed carrots and potatoes. The texture of the curry is not as thick but taste-wise, it didn't disappoint. We were all stuffed by then but still managed to scoff it down.

After all the fantastic food, we were ushered outside for a group photo with none other than the plump green frog. It was flattering as some of the marketing crew, along the with the frog, came all the way from KL for this event!~

Yes, I look like I'm still hungry, as I tried to steal a bite on the froggie XD

A big shout-out to Emily, as it was her birthday that day!~ And she met her prince too...in frog form. Not yet kiss mah, so haven't transformed yet.

When we got back in, we were surprised with dessert and presented with 4 flavors of their ice-cream. From the top: Dragon fruit, passion fruit, black sesame and green tea. My favorite were the dragon fruit and passion fruit ones, albeit it digressed from the usual Japanese flavors. I loved the refreshing, bright and clean taste of both =)

Each of us got a goodie bag, with a little green froggie inside too!~

A big thanks to Sakae Sushi for gracefully hosting us and making sure we had a great time that night. Also, thanks to my buddy Criz and our helpful organizers from Foodsion for making this happen =)

Fabulous Week

A couple of weekends ago, I had the priviledge of playing host to a fellow CYT (cute young thing) aka chiku blogger from KL, along with zai2 and Tonnchita aka Dennis. Our dear Cookiedonut aka Jason is having a four month vacation *deeply envious* and one of his travel destinations involve the land of abundant delish and affordable food, PENANG! He was supposed to be on a trip with his college mates, but decided to arrive in Penang alone for the weekend before they arrived this evening. Dennis and I had actually met him in KL early this month when we were in Cheras for our leadership seminar, so Jason booked us for this weekend to have fun and food beforehand ^^.

Dennis picked him up from the airport early Saturday afternoon and checked him into Tune hotels smack in the middle of town. Seriously, if you're planning on dropping by Penang on a budget and limited transport or knowledge on how to move around while hungering for Penang food, stay in Tune hotel! You can get A LOT of Penang's best foods within walking distance at any time.

Without delay, Dennis brought Jason to Him Heang (on my recommendation coz he should not miss it) for their oh-so-famous Tau Sar Pneah, or Dao Sar Peng as Jason called it. This was followed by a nom-noming session at New World Park. Char Koay Teow (CKT), fried oyster, ais kacang, curry mee and I forgot what else they had, but they basically stuffed their faces XD. I could only meet up with them at night as I had a private function to attend that afternoon. For a slightly late dinner, I took them to have something 'light' at Esplanade. The food court in Esplanade houses one of the most HEAVENLY fruit rojaks in Penang (one of my ultimate fave rojak haunt is here), and so I ordered a heaping large plate worth RM12. We also have a famous Pasembur stall here so we ordered a pretty big plate too. We had two sausages, two eggs, one large fried prawn fritter, one fried beancurd (I think we call it that ><) and a potato as the main ingredients. All this is topped with lots of shredded turnip and cucumber, poured over with a divine sauce and a sprinkle of crushed peanuts. Both were so delish!~

After dinner, it was time to strip Jason of his BBC (Boom Boom Chambre) virginity. We got there early at about 11pm coz we wanted to secure a place to sit. 30 minutes later, the place was almost fully packed. I also noticed a new club opened right opposite BBC. It is the same mansion building occupied by the late MOMO club, and after being empty for almost a year, a new club called VOODOO has opened. A friend of mine took a few of us in for free to have a look. We even got ourselves stamped so we are recognized as paid patrons =P. VOODOO looks SUPER FABULOUS. Ok, jotting that place down for clubbing next.

Back to BBC, we had a blast there. I haven't been there in about 4 months (or more). The 'hostess' for the evening was Jada, and Brendan was right, she's absolutely hilarious! Laughed our asses off every time she spoke on stage. Freda was the usual 'hostess' and Jada only came to perform occasionally, so we were luckily that night. The dance shows as usual were great and well-choreographed with really jaw-dropping costumes. Loved the dance with the feather fans, so fabulous! For BBC virgins out there, BBC usually has stage shows every Wednesday and Saturday. On Saturday, there would be two shows, both featuring performances by the dance group and 'hostess', at 12am and 1.30am. The music at BBC improved a little from the last time I was there, which felt like a MJ or 80s nite at the time, seriously disappointing for clubbing music. And the DJ was still the same middle-aged fella who would gyrate of music only HE enjoyed, while the rest of the crowd stood still.

Last Saturday wasn't too bad, music was good enough that we could dance and enjoy it, although some of the Lady Gaga remixes were in bad taste. As the night progressed, the music spiraled back to disappointment. I think that's why the crowd usually leaves after the last show. Zai2 and I didn't drink, but Dennis and Jason did. And Jason drinks pretty fast too. Hehe, drunk CYTs can be fun to play with, especially during clubbing. Somemore, my little devil is around, so...habislah Jason, lost like 50% of his 'kesucian' XD. After all that dancing, shaking,
molestingand good laughs, we called it a night at around 2am since I had an Indian wedding to attend on Sunday morning.

On Sunday, Dennis again played host during the day. I was too pooped coz I slept at 4am+ and woke up early in the morning for the wedding. Zai2 and I picked them up for dinner and we headed for New Lane hawker food. We had sotong kangkung (heavenly sauce!), chee cheong fun with thick prawn paste, belacan chicken and beancurd, wet popiah, wantan mee and fried prawns(in place of oysters). Mmm...food was really good =P. After that, I suggested we went for lok-lok at Pulau Tikus, which elicited a high-pitch screech of excitement from Jason. That boy really loves lok-lok, or anything in a form of a stick, dunno which XD.

Lok-Lok at Pulau Tikus was average for me, didn't eat much of it. They were out of cockles (si hum!), which was Jason's fave. However, they did have skewered mantis prawn, first time seeing it at a lok-lok place. After that, I wanted to surprise Jason with a really luscious dessert place along Gurney Drive called Crepe Cottage. Turns out Dennis has already brought him there (potong stim), but we still headed there anyway. This is a place NOT to be missed when you're here. It's kinda difficult to detect although it's just by the side of the road since it doesn't stand out.

Crepe Cottage is a very affordable, quaint little gem of a place that serves both savoury and sweet crepes and desserts. It's run by a widow and her family (I think). Since we were rather stuffed, we only ordered two things. The expresso crepe came with a large thin slice of dark coffee-infused crepe, a side of large scoop of fresh almond-vanilla ice-cream and dollops of fresh cream and had a drizzle of caramel sauce throughout the dish. We didn't manage to take a pic coz it landed into our tummies pretty fast.

The HIGHLIGHT was the Mango Cup that came after. All four of us were astounded when it arrived. If the room was dark, we could've lit it up with the light from our eyes. Mango cup came with a thin, crispy crepe shaped like a bowl filled with generous slices of sweet mango, topped with two LARGE scoops of heavenly mango ice-cream and a couple dollops of fresh cream. And there was more cream on the side. A really BIG portion for only RM11, really worth it! Mmm...and it tasted as divine as it looks *DROOL*. Again, thanks a lot to Brendan for recommending this. With dessert, we also brought the house down with our intense laughter, especially Dennis. Laugh until wanna kena sawan babi liddat! Thanks to me of course XD

We went there again last night for Jason's last supper in Penang (his third visit there in a week XD). This time Shawn tagged along. Ordered a few of their savoury items and they did NOT disappoint. Crepe Cottage is very generous with their servings, despite the low price. Jason had the seafood pasta that was loaded with large slices of fish and prawns. Zai2 had the Chicken Cheese Pocket (I think that's what it's called) that was filled with lots of cheese and minced, herb-ed chicken topped with generous lemon cream sauce. One bite and you were in heaven, unless of course if you're lactose intolerant =P. I had the Cheese-crumbled Chicken. A butterflied, deep-fried chicken breast breaded with cheesy bread crumbs topped with a citrus sauce and came with a side of stir-fried vegetables and a crepe. After we finished our dinner, rain began to drizzle but we decided to continue sitting outside and held two umbrellas to shield ourselves, much to the amusement of the staff. We immediately moved inside when we saw a few people leaving and found a table enough for four and got ready to order dessert. Just as we're settling down at the table, THIS came to our table.

And it was on the house! Apparently the lady owner came and told us it was free for us since we stayed outside despite the rain and didn't leave. What a lovely gesture! Of course, we HAD to order the Mango Cup again. Seriously, love Crepe Cottage to bits. Awesome food, very affordable prices (the most expensive item on the menu is only RM20) and really generous with the ingredients. On top of that, NO service charge!

After having all the yummies in our tummies, camwhoring ensued.

Jason boarded a plane back to KL on Friday morning. We'll miss
molestingextending our Penang hospitality to you back here. Also, go back to gym to burn off everything you ate XD

PS: William Ng aka Suneo, bila datang Penang? BBC and food waiting for you!~

Addicted To Aarti!

Aarti Sequeira is an Indian food blogger living with her husband Brendan in LA. She is the winner of the latest Season 6 of The Next Food Network Star. The winner will join the ranks of the biggest Food Network stars such as Giada De Laurentiis, Paula Deen, Rachael Ray, Bobby Flay, Alton John etc, and own their own show on the Food Network.

Aarti's culinary point of view is to infuse Indian flavours into American cuisine. Here are a few videos from her own channel on Youtube.

Gosh, isn't she just so pretty and adorable? I can't help but love her bubbly and cheerful personality. And her clips are absolutely cute, hilarious and informative. You can view the rest of her clips in her Youtube channel called aartipaarti. I just can't stop watching her videos.

Here's one of my fave episodes of Aaarti on the Next Food Network Star. She competed in an Iron Chef challenge where she needs to prepare 3 dishes within 1 hour and all her dishes must be inspired by the secret ingredient which is shrimp. Her dishes were then judged by the Iron Chefs themselves, namely Bobby Flay, Michael Symon, Cat Cora and Morimoto. She received the best, most astounding reviews among the final 4.

You can watch all the Season 6 episodes in Youtube channel somebody7100. Seriously, I couldn't stop watching after I started. Pretty awesome show =)

I'm really looking forward to her upcoming show called Aarti Party in the Food Network channel. Congrats Aarti, you really deserve it! =)

With The Blang and Besties in KL

Just got back from KL again. I arrived on Friday night just for a short trip. The main agenda attending a friend's birthday party @ Bangsar on Sat nite. I promised her I would come for her birthday party since January. Heck, I really can't back out anymore when I clicked 'Attending' on the event invitation page in Facebook! This time, I stayed with my bestie Joe and his BF in Puchong. It's been a while since I stayed with Joe, felt nice coz I rarely get to see him these days =)

Also, I decided to meet up with the blang (blogging gang) again. So, messages were sent to respective bloggers via FB and William was appointed as my unofficial planner, and it was done. Sat kicked off at 12pm with a dim sum lunch @ Yuen Garden with William, Bear, Pikey, SK, Ichi, Joe and Joe's BF. I was rather surprised to learn the Ichi didn't mind pork. Too bad Nicky couldn't make it, so Ichi was the only new face there for me. The restaurant was filled with twinky waiters, much to the pleasure of the oogling eyes of Pikey and Ichi XD. Food was rather good and it wasn't expensive.

After lunch, Joe and BF had to make a move to settle some banking stuff and also head to the post office. So, we adjourned to a Pappa Rich nearby for more drinks and snacks. Loads of laughs, merry-making and cock-a-doodle chattery. We had so much fun, that we forgot to camwhore. So, no pics from the gathering ><. It was very warm in Pappa Rich. Too bad, the place looks pleasant but where's the air-cond? Poor Pikey had to sit with the grill and steamer behind him. His back was literally wet with sweat. But, I'm sure Bear gave him a 'bear-back' scrub in the shower after that. The cute Bear was rather rambunctious this time. The first time I met him, either he was
pretending to beshy or busy munching on the chicken Pikey was feeding him XD

We were done at 4 pm, an hour after Joe and BF finished their errands and joined us again. Joe found SK to be quite lively and entertaining. If I didn't tell him that she was William bestie, he actually thought they were a couple. A cute couple...awww ^^. Yes, it was really fun seeing you guys again. I'll holler next time I'm in KL again =)

At night, it was time to partay. Joe was gracious enough to drive me there. With the help of GPS (thank God!), we managed to locate the Bayu Angkasa condo @ Bangsar. The condo was nicely spacious and posh. Kinda jealous, when am I gonna own such a posh abode like that? T.T

Lots of good friends, new faces and great food at the party. Yes, there were lots of booze as well but the Pooh doesn't really drink. Well, maybe only a little that night =)

Me and the gorgeous birthday girl Sonia. See? This is why I hate taking upclose pics of myself. Fugly T.T

Just chillin'.

And having fun =)

Our pimptress mama-san Vivien in the middle XD

2 of my favorite ladies =)

Family portrait ^^. That's not even half the people there that night. Poor couch though =P

The Day I Stopped Loving Myself

Warning: This is a LONG post.

This is a blog entry by a fellow blogger who bravely revealed one of the darkest episodes of his life. I felt that it was deeply moving and really wanted to re-post it here to share with all of you.

The night was still. It was quiet except for the sound of my own breathing. The rope was around my neck. I let it caress my neck and it tightened into a loop. I wanted to die by asphyxiation, suffocating myself to death. They say right before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. It is true. At the age of seventeen, my whole life flashed before my eyes. It wasn’t my entire life from childhood to present but the thing that mattered most to me. I guess I never knew how important that matter was in my young mind until that very day. Right before I tried to kill myself, images of my family started flashing in my mind. And I felt this deep, intense love inside my heart. A love that was stronger than the desire to end my life at that very moment. I thought of my family, especially my mother, the one I was closest to. I couldn’t let go of them even though I had decided to let go of my own life. There was this heaviness in my heart, making me not wanting to leave them. I thought I wanted to leave this world behind. But I didn’t want to leave them behind. I couldn’t.

I took my head out of the loop and started gasping for air. Then I burst into tears. I never cried so hard in my life. I cried until my nose become blocked and started to run with secretions. I cried until I couldn’t see from all the tears. I cried till there was a puddle of water on the pillow. I stifled my cries with the pillow so my sleeping family members would not hear. I cried until exhaustion kicked in and fell into sleep.

I woke up to the bright morning sun the next day. Like the rays of sunshine penetrating my room, I felt that my life has changed and I wanted to start anew. I pretended nothing was wrong. I thought my eyes were puffy but I didn’t think my parents noticed. I haven’t eaten for days and my parents were just glad I was going to the kitchen for some breakfast. I had been depressed for months but the past few days have been the lowest point in my life, before spiraling into the night of my suicidal attempt. I became as dark as the December storm, unlike my usual sunny self.

Last night, after my suicide attempt, I realized that there was more to life. I need to be more responsible to myself and the people around me. Dying will not solve the problem. Most importantly, I love my father, mother, brother and sister too much to leave them. I finished my breakfast alone, quietly. I was starving, from my many days of self-imposed ‘fasting’.

I heard a sound as I went upstairs to my bedroom. I started running to my room as fast as I can. “No, NO, NO,” I screamed inside my head as thoughts went through my mind. I did not lock the door and someone must have went in and saw something they should not see.

It was mom. She was crying uncontrollably. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Her eyes were red. She looked at me and asked, “WHY? WHY?”

When I saw her cried, I started crying too. I felt defeated and just sank to the ground. My knees turned weak. She had searched through my room as I was having breakfast in the kitchen. I should’ve locked the room. I thought I hid everything. How could I be so careless?

She found my suicide notes hidden under the mattress. She just asked why and kept crying. I cried too. I saw the anger in her eyes. I saw the disappointment in her eyes. I saw the sadness in her eyes. I didn’t know what to say. I disappointed her as her favourite child. I was the strongest in her eyes. The brightest one. And yet, now, I felt like I am the most worthless.

I felt helpless as I continued to look at her crying. Seeing your mother cry while discovering your darkest secret will break even the strongest heart. She discovered and read all the little pieces of suicide notes I left for them had I successfully killed myself last night.

Both my mom and I could barely speak as our voices were choked by tears and emotions. Time seemed to stopped and we just stood there crying, and looking at each other. I hugged her and told her I am sorry. Told her that I love her. She hugged me back, still crying, but did not say anything.

Until this day, my mom doesn’t quite know the reason I attempted suicide. She thought I was broken hearted over breaking up with a girl. We never talked about this dark day that happened in our lives. It was something we try to avoid. My suicide attempt occurred during Chinese New Year. For the next few years, Chinese New Year was never the same again. Sometimes, when I am alone with her, she would casually bring this up and ask me what happened that day without specifically pointing to the incident. We both knew which event she was referring to but I always brushed it off and changed the subject. When she sensed a change in emotion, with the air suddenly tensed, she would stop pursuing the matter, and become quiet.

The real reason I wanted to die was because I could not accept my own sexuality. Sometimes, you know about it all your life, since childhood. But at 17, reality suddenly hits and I understand how being different is not a good thing. My mother would never accept me for who I am. Society would not accept people like me. I thought I was a freak. A mistake of God. I was abnormal. I had perverted desires. I had no reason to live on this earth as a freak. I took some time to accept myself. Thanks to the resources from the Internet on sexuality and my ex, whom I eventually found love. I thought I was going to be happy again. Little did I know, accepting my sexuality was only the beginning of a journey. One that would not be easy.

We've all been there. In our younger days, we've been brainwashed by those around us to think that our very existence is an abomination, that of sin incarnate. In our own innocence and ignorance, we've been led to believe that everything about our sexuality is wrong, a perversion frown upon by our Maker, a mental disease that needs to be cure, or whatever narrow-minded, erred perception that society will impose. We've been told that we've made the wrong 'choice' and if we don't change our ways, we're destined for fire and brimstone in the afterlife. We've been told so many things that would break our spirit, spawn self-loathing, and perpetually confuse our minds. All because of ignorant, yet pernicious perceptions imposed by those who think they know it all, making it so difficult to accept ourselves for who we are.

As we progress in life, we face further discrimination for being who we are, either directly or otherwise. We're constantly in fear that people will turn their backs on us when they find out, especially the ones whom we love and cherish the most. Most of the time, we have to put on a social mask just to blend in, depending on the crowd and situation. We face overwhelming pressure to conform to the norms of the sexual majority.

All of us have doubts, insecurities and fear that plague us. At some point in our life, we may be tempted to choose the 'easy' way out. A thought is just a thought unless translated into action. Let it be a fleeting one and never re-visit that thought again. However hard and bleak it may seem, hope never dies. Our lives are a gift, regardless how crappy it is sometimes. We are as God made us, and when the world turns against us, He will always love us. I truly believe that our actions and heart which governs those actions, are the things that MATTER THE MOST. Not your age, the color of your skin, your sexuality etc.

I'm very glad that you didn't become another Bobby. The love you had within saved you, making you take a step back from an untimely end. Death is never the answer.

Sick Pig Virus, Ninjas and Freedom

The sick pig virus (H1N1 lah!) is getting increasingly wide-spread lately. More and more cases are reported daily from across the world and no one is spared. Seriously, H1N1 is the most contagious epidemic ever to hit us. It spread so alarmingly fast across continents beyond anything scientists had ever seen, even more so than SARS. As a result, ninjas (people wearing face masks) began appearing everywhere. So much so that I'm feeling left out for not becoming a ninja myself. You know lah, I'm kinda a hypochondriac -_-"

Last Monday, I met a fellow PLU blogger Freedom09 (keeping his anonymity) from Kuching, along with my good friend Zemien who've just returned from Beijing. He was visiting Penang briefly with his family and apparently, is Zemien's god bro. What a freakin' small world! Anyhow, we met in Old Town at New World Park and Freedom09 brought along a friend, who's also a PLU in Penang that I happen to know (only met him once). Small small world indeed. Long story short, the four of us played some cards and chatted the night away. To those who wonder, Freedom09 struck me as a funny and witty fella. Wanna know more about him ah? Go kacau him at his blog XD

Event Coverage: What a Bloggiful World Penang Bloggers Gathering!

Finally, I'm able to post this, after I obtaining the pictures. So many pictures to post, I'll make it as short as I can!

Frankly, I was 20 minutes late for the event. However, I had forgotten that we're all Malaysians in the end. Guests should be given a buffer of 30 minutes to an hour from the actual event start time to appear (think Malaysian weddingslah!). Hence, the event actually started close to 1:30 pm, instead of 12 pm in the afternoon. This event anticipated no less than approximately 120 confirmed bloggers from all over Penang, and even some arriving from other states.

The organizers/committee members confirming registered bloggers and handing out goodie bags.

The event kicked off with a speech from Mr William Tan, who represented the General Manager of Paradise Sandy Beach Resort. The beachfront resort is one of the sponsors for this event.

Followed by a brief speech by the chairperson of the organizing committee, Warren Tan.

This was followed by another sponsor for the event, Celebrity Fitness, performing 3 shows from their classes back to back (top to bottom): Belly-dancing, Body Combat and Hip Hop Dance.

Where are my manners? Introducing our kawaii, entertaining and funny emcees for the afternoon, Minny and Cedric!

I shared a table with Yiphing, Kenny and Merritt, just a table away from the stage, in the middle of the room. Being a newbie blogger and hardly knowing any Penang bloggers, I chose to sit somewhere I could easily see the stage, since it was free sitting anyways.

Then, it was MAKAN time, buffet style! The spread wasn't too bad and the food was nothing to shout about. But it was more than good enough, considering I only paid RM 10 for everything!

While we had lunch, we were given a speech by one of the VIPs who is a YB for gosh-I-forgot-which-area-in-Penang. After the speech, he was presented with a souvenir.

After lunch, it was quizzes, games and lucky draw time! It was a pity that some people left after lunch, as they were not aware that there were still activities going on after.

The lucky draw prizes were Digi RM 50 pre-paid reload vouchers, GSC vouchers, free passes and memberships for Celebrity Fitness, Baptain hair-styling packages and Exabytes vouchers.

They even had a cake made to commemorate the event (or was it an anniversary?) and shared it with all the bloggers there. Looks good doesn't it?

During the course of the event, some bloggers stepped up and shared their experiences and thoughts on blogging and the blogosphere. Top to bottom: Diese, Ernest and some Indian lady (totally forgot her name, sorry ya!)

Random pictures taken of other bloggers, along with the VIP.

FINALLY, a group picture of ALL of us before the event ended at 5 pm. Can you spot me? *hint* middle *hint*

Overall, it was a great event! My only feedback would be perhaps the list of activities could be provided next time, so that there won't be anyone leaving pre-maturely. Looking forward to more of such blogger events/gatherings in the future!

PS: Special thanks to Cedric for sharing the pictures and to Ai Ling for meeting up with me to collect my last minute payment =)