Come Into My World...

Why...

2011-10-20T21:20:00.002+08:00

...Guilds Wars 2 is gonna be epic!~

Alright alright, allow me to indulge in fan boy excitement just until after this post, k?

Guild Wars 2

2011-10-19T20:10:00.006+08:00

OH MAI GAWD

The burning inner gamer/nerd within me is totally in bated breath waiting for this game to be finally released...some time next year it seems.

Don't get me wrong. I totally love World of Warcraft and all the time-consuming, nerdy addiction it brings, but I was really hoping for a breath of fresh air. Guild Wars 2 will have the most life-like, beautiful and visually stunning graphics the world of MMORPGs has ever seen, or so they promised. And it seems from various trailers and clips on YouTube, they aren't the least bit lying about that claim. The game-play, be it PVE or PVP-wise is gonna be based on a really dynamic. No more endless grinding, mindless questing or getting owned by people more geared by you. Quests/events come to you, all the events based on your character will be directly decided on the paths and choices that you choose, and did I mention the orgasm-inducing graphics?

You bet my obviously overly excited ass I did!~

Seriously, I'm even hoping to get into open beta when it's available, hopefully early next year.

After A 2 Month Hiatus...

2011-10-04T23:17:00.004+08:00

Somehow, I've lost the will to blog. I don't really have the time nor the energy to write about anything late, which explains my 2 month hiatus. Work has been a bitch and the rat race has intensified over the course of this year. But fret not, that was also the call for me to get pro-active in order to have a better life and future. I'm determined not to stay average or mediocre. I want more than what life has to give right now. I want a better life. A LOT BETTER.

Life is much of a blur sometimes, thanks to my current job. And I'm still striving to get out of it. In fact, wish me luck for an interview this Saturday =)

On brighter note, zai2 and I are back together now, and we've been so for more than 3 months since our 'break-up'. What to do, he's still stuck to me like glue. Someday, I might need to have him surgically removed from me. During the course of our 'break-up', I imagined what life would be like without him. He knew me well, adjusted to my temperaments and even my family liked him. He cheered for my dreams and aspirations, and brought further cheer into my life. We did have a couple of arguments during that time and almost did break-up for real.

Then, I imagined what life would truly be without him, and I would be back to square one. Alone and striving to find that which would fill the void in my heart. Even if I were to find someone else, I would have to go through an entire cycle of mutual discoveries that new couples go through. Why would I want to put myself through all that when one who truly loves me is already in front of me? Doubts faded and a deeper affection arose. At the time when I almost lost him, was the time I found out that I needed him, as he did me.

We're not a perfect couple. We have our ups and downs. We struggle just like everyone else. But, all I know is that the thought of really losing him left me with an aching pain. A sudden, dark void that felt physical. An emptiness devoid of joy. I guess I didn't really feel it when we 'broke-up' because he was always around me. At the height of our arguments, a real break-up was at the brink of coming true. And that was when I found out how much I still loved him. Isn't it a bitch how much you truly appreciate something once it's gone, or almost gone in my case?

Lift Your Heart

2011-07-31T01:04:00.007+08:00

So many times in so many instances have we kept doubted or despised ourselves, and struggled to make something more of ourselves. In those times, this will lift your heart.

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Stay strong, look within you and keep moving forward. Bad times and seemingly never-ending struggle will always be there, and the actions we take in those circumstances will ultimately determine the outcome. In the bleakest hour on the darkest days, we need to cling on to hope and keep going. The flame of hope can be reduced to a tiny flicker, but it can never go out. That tiny spark can turn the tides if you remain steadfast and fight alongside it. It is always there if you seek it, and can devoid you of life should you lose it.

Never give up, no matter how bad things get. I need to remind myself of that always.

Alright I'll stop here. I'm getting too preachy =)

Random Ramblings

2011-07-12T00:16:00.010+08:00

Sorry peeps. I know my blog has turned into a bit of a ghost town of late. Hardly a single post for almost 3 weeks. Been busy with real life, and recently very engrossed with Bersih 2.0. If you must know where I stand, I'M ALL WITH BERSIH! Events in the past week leading to the actual Bersih 2.0 rally has been a whirlwind of overwhelming emotions from anger, support, frustration, amazement and more. I feel like a Bersih post coming up (even though I wasn't there) but time doesn't really permit at this point.

Still struggling to get my life back in order, and striving to work on the right priorities. I need to place my thoughts in a more positive future and work towards that. My dreams and aspirations won't fall onto my lap just like that. It takes work.

Also, I've joined the Apple ~~cult~~ clan last week. My trusty 4-year-old Nokia is falling apart, like literally. That hardy thing withstood MANY falls (it's also my alarm clock, so...you know when you're really sleepy and reach for your alarm clock, you sometimes knock it to the ground. In my case, it's MANY times) and even a snatch theft.

Sometimes I really wonder, when did life get so hard and complicated? Then, when I think about it, it's more about perspective. It's about how you look at it. Sure, how you're feeling at the time could greatly influence your judgement. If you're feeling really tired or demotivated, life seems like crap, however you see it. But as a whole, how you ultimately choose to look at it is what matters. Circumstances happen and we can't control it, how you react will determine the outcome. All too often, we tend to get emotionally hijacked or let our impulse run the show, and most of those times, don't we find that we get short-changed as a result?

I believe that I'm at a time when I'm supposed to fight my way out. It's like I'm paying my dues to qualify for something greater. Does that make sense?

Pessimism is a sneaky bastard. It can creep up to you when you least expect it, park itself at a spot where it can't be spotted, whisper its dark lies into your ears and blind you from seeing and appreciating the things that you have and those who really matter. I need to take a good hard look at my life, and value the things that I have. Isn't it a bitch when you don't know what you really had, until you've lost it?

It's late, and here ends my ramblings for tonight. It's not much, just some stuff on top of my head.

T.G.I.F!~

2011-06-23T22:07:00.006+08:00

Remember THIS girl?

When this song debuted over Youtube, it became SO EPIC for being SO BAD. Then, it became fun when a lot of parodies came out. Then, it became strangely addictive and you started having trouble shaking the beat out of your head...having listened to it while laughing/mocking/facepalming yourself WAY too many times.

Well, laugh all you want coz Rebecca Black just starred in a music video alongside a very nerdy Katy Perry for her latest song, Last Friday Night.

I just the MTV is just pure fun and fabulous XD

PS: That guy beside Katy is TOTALLY HAWT!~

Hooked

2011-06-22T22:58:00.005+08:00

Seriously, when I first heard her from the radio, I thought that it was a Pink song. You gotta admit, they do sound almost the same, except Adele's is a more soulful.

It's been a while since I've such a soulful, artsy song with a retro feel to it. And her vocals are pretty amazing.

The Boss

2011-06-20T01:14:00.031+08:00

It's late but I can't sleep. Something in my head refuses to settle. I'm feeling uneasy and slightly disturbed. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm going to work in a job that I hate, thanks to my boss. Since I started working in RB 6 months ago, I've changed but unfortunately, not for the better. I'm moodier and much less happier than usual. I'm a lot more exhausted and frustrated most of the time. Both William and Jo have noticed and remarked on this change in me. I used to complain for fun when I was still attached to D, but now, my complaints genuinely resonate my intense frustrations and unhappiness stemming from RB.

It's not so much about the job that irks me, but about the BOSS. I swear, he is the BIGGEST pet peeve of all. I wouldn't mind as much working with a busy schedule, but working with a unreasonable boss with an attitude problem and a bad-temper really takes the cake. It's nerve-wrecking working for someone who's as volatile and unpredictable as a ferocious, quiet guard dog. You never know when he will bare his teeth, bark and bite off your nuts. Unlike my previous managers, who can rightfully be called professional people managers, he maintains a strict boss and co-worker mentality. Not that it's all bad, but his attitude is what makes him over-bearing and hateful. It really says something when the new hires and even trainees try to avoid him as much as possible, and not to mention rejoicing when he's on leave.

He's stubborn, obnoxious, condescending, confrontational, impatient, has a short-fused temper and is not qualified as a people manager. To add to that, he has a habit of dumping tasks on people regardless of whether that person is overloaded, which just spells poor management to me. He has poor people skills and just enjoys barking at people to get things done, and get things done HIS way. As a result, there are many who think that he is a pain in the neck and ought to be avoided. I even caught him reading adult sex stories on the internet during working hours a couple of times.

Compared to him, my previous 'real' managers were saints, who knew how to manage people properly, streamline tasks and really cared about us, our opinions and concerns. They were people whom you could really talk to, not some brash, hot-headed neanderthal who likes to swing his verbal club around just because he has the most knowledge and experience. It might work for people who have worked with him for a long time, but it's just gonna repel those who have experienced a better, more tolerant and professional environment. I've been on the end of his verbal assaults quite a few times, so I've witness more severe lashings even toward the senior engineers (there was one particular time when I was almost certain a fight was gonna break out between him and a fellow engineer, when the engineer spoke back, saying that my boss shouldn't talk to him like that). It's no wonder that they are leaving as well...no one's gonna take his bullshit forever.

Man, it felt good to let it all out and I expect to leave soon too.

Life On A Standstill

2011-05-24T23:57:00.009+08:00

Life seems like a race lately and I barely get any time for myself. I seem to have a lot on my mind and sometimes, I just feel trapped or suffocated. One thing occurred to me though. I realized one of the reasons my social life is in a bit of a slump is because I don't have access to the internet at work. It just dawned on me how much time I spent on the internet during working hours to update myself, blog and connect with people online, provided of course I had nothing urgent going on or lots of work piling. Facebook was an integral part of my day. It was the next thing I opened after my email. I would normally update my blog at work as well, and constantly updated myself surfing Google, Youtube etc.

I haven't really been going out much as well. I really miss those fun outings and crazy times we had. I miss going to KL just to get away from it all and unwind. I miss my friends in KL, hanging out and going clubbing occasionally. It's not that I don't really have the time, but I really need to conserve my coffers and my new company it a little more hectic and restrictive when it comes to taking days off. I guess the big difference is that I have a lot more financial commitments since last year. I've become more of a miser when it comes to spending, something which I don't really condone since I don't like to feel restricted. I'm really working on overcoming this issue and I can only hope for the best at this point.

Life has been pretty quiet and drab, something that I really dislike. I hate to say it but since a lot my friends left, it hasn't been the same. I miss you guys bucket-loads, you know who you are :)

You Are Perfect To Me

2011-05-10T21:18:00.012+08:00

At a time when I felt incredibly vulnerable, sad and awash with doubt; at a time when I felt unworthy and so unsure of myself, this song played on my car radio as I drove home in despair many nights ago.

I hadn't noticed at first, with my mind in a race of thoughts, but the words eventually caught my attention. It was just the right moment, with the right message and the just right words that I needed to hear. It was so miraculous, or at least it felt that way to me. There was no one else around, just me alone in the car. It was as if You were listening to my heart, and knew exactly what to say. You may call it coincidence if you want, but I believe that that song was meant for me.

I burst into tears as I drove back. I just let it all out. Both touched and utterly grateful for that song, I just want to share it with all of you.

If you're feeling down, unworthy or terribly discouraged with yourself, this is the song for you =)

It's Just One Of Those Times...

2011-05-04T00:08:00.007+08:00

Sometimes, life seems to move at light speed, and I begin to lose sight of things.

Sometimes, life seems to be such a heaving struggle, I begin to tire at every possibility of action and just wanna lay down in inaction.

Sometimes, life seems so fatiguing, that my mind ceases to perceive and becomes a huge, jumbled blur.

Sometimes, I just lose sight of my direction, hoping that there will be a flicker of light in the distance to guide you back to the longing road.

Sometimes, I don't even know what I want, and the resulting frustration just steers me into more indecision.

Sometimes, I wonder if things will ever get better, clinging furiously in the dark, hoping to hold to climb back up where there will be light again.

Sometimes, I wonder if most of what's going on in my life is self-inflicted, and my mind sneers trying to stifle a knowing giggle.

Sometimes, I wonder if I will implode with all this confusion, but I still live to wonder about that another day.

Sometimes, I vehemently try to pry open the forbidden veils of the future in my mind and take a spy, only to find it concealed in a thick fog.

Sometimes, I wonder if I will really be able to get back on track, and reach the dreams that I've laid out at the end.

Sometimes, I feel so lost, as if my mind's compass is spinning wildly in the magnetic field of the burdens that still await.

Sometimes, I just wanna let it all go, and feel the joy and peace again.

God, please light the way for me.

Strangers, again.

2011-04-24T16:59:00.002+08:00

I never thought that my last post here would end up this way. I planned for something else but I guess that won't do for now. I found something better to talk about our relationship and I must thank Wong Fu Production for such video because the date of the video which was uploaded was the same as the day we broke up, 20^th of April, 2011. It could never be a better coincidence as this and in a way, I think of this short movie as a gift.

While the relationship between Josh and Marissa started with a shoelace, mine started with Shawnie Prawnie. I still remember the day when Shawnie gor opened my eyes to the world where being gay is not all about sex. IF I had not met Shawn, my world would have been full of darkness as in I would have had wild sex and not aware of the dangerousity of STDs. Back then, I was so broken with most of all my previous relationships that I could not think straight. Futhermore, I was convinced by a few of my bad friends (who introduced to me those harmful chemicals/substances which makes sex more "fun") to think that gays is all about sex and told me that there will be no love in our world.

Thankfully, such influence only lasts about 1 week (even then, the damage had been done but only once). One day, I was actively searching for partymates in some social sites and I came through a profile which I thought "Hhmm...this guy is not bad looking and he seems clever from what he wrote. I shall rant to him about my ex-es ~~and see if I can con him to bed with me (joking)~~". That guy is of course none other than my Shawnie Prawnie ah gor. I really appreciate the fact that he brought me out to meet such nice people and most of all, I really really really must thank him for bringing me such a wonderful husband that I will never ever have again in my life.

It was during CNY on Feb 2010 and Shawnie dragged me along to Chin Bee Tea Shop to meet up with others, which, I reluctantly joined as I'm very very very shy. I didnt notice lou gong much that time as I thought he was occupied with that Brazillian whom I still refuse to mention. I did glance over at lou gong a few times and "slurp slurp...mmmm.... How sad he's attached". ANYWAY, Im not gonna rewrite things Mark has written in the past so, long story short, we went to the dating stage not long after Chin Bee Tea Shop.

Dating stage went by and we declared ourselves as couple at 3^rd of March. (NOTE: I just realized he declared us as couple a day earlier than what it was supposed to be). Pasts experiences came back to haunt me even though we're officially attached. I am more cautious and tend to keep some feelings to myself so somehow, that acted as a barrier for a moment. I told him about this phobia and somehow, he reassured me with his words.

You know, he ALWAYS have this effect on me where I'm just lost for words, unable to think properly when he is around. He is also the first person ever I feel safe with. I am very afraid of the dark and when he is with me, somehow, I'm sure that everything would be alright. His mere presence never fail to made me thinks so and it still goes on until now. I used to fail to say what I had wanted to say when we are having serious conversations. Not because I don't know how but I am just stunned. To me, whenever he is around, nothing else matters not even the talks, nor my emoness. This is how comfortable I am with him but even then, sometimes, the talks must go on so I actually tried to write down what I wanted to say in paper but end up, I could not elaborate what I wanted to say. I just simply, read what I wrote in a paper and that's it (which is totally dumb).

We have had happy moments like how we spent our first year anniversary celebration on a weekend getaway and some sad moments like how he told me he is not sure whether he still loves me. Some angry moments like how we could not agree on a certain issue to some romantic moments like how we hug each other tightly and kiss passionately. All in all, we are a healthy normal couple. He have had his bad times and I will try my best to be there for him just like how he did the same thing to me. This is one of the sweetest things someone had ever done to me. He will always be there for me when I really really needed him.

Nevertheless, things had taken a change towards the end of the relationship. I had noticed a few things after we had our first talk about him losing his feelings. He never asked me if I love him anymore neither did he says "I love you" anymore when I asked him but still, I refuse to let go. When we kissed, I didnt feel the "fire" in him anymore and the kiss from him more like an obligation as a spouse rather than he wanted to. Our bedtime moments had been short lived too and somehow I can see that he could not reach climate by looking at me. Still, I refuse to let go. One of the reasons is because I don't want to lose someone again. I am tired in some way and he IS the best among all the others I had been with.

So, in a way, suffice to say that I am hiding myself from the fact that his love on me is not as strong and as passionate as it used to be. As a result, I forged on and improvise according to the situation. He do not spend as much time with me as we used to be and I am alright with it now because I am trying to salvage our relationship any way I can. Which is wrong. I became unhappy most of the time with the relationship, stressed out, complain, complain and complain. Nearly every single weekend for the past few weekends, we have had arguments. I can say that everytime, I was the one who was unhappy. Now that we've broken up, I realized why. It's because I was unwilling to let go, avoiding the truth and trying my best to salvage the relationship in any single way I can.

You know, we were both very happy during the weekend getaway. Somehow, I can feel his love once again that weekend. This makes me thinks that he do not love me as much anymore might be because he was trying to juggle between his work, his family, his commitments, his business and me. That's a whole load of weight on his shoulder. That is why I had decided to just go on with whatever he can offer to me but I guess I could not do it.

Nevertheless, on the last day of our relationship, I was really proud of myself not because of we broke up but because I faced the reality. This is the third time we had this talked and when he said "Can't you just let me go because I wanted to?", I am just speechless and with that, I do not need to find anymore excuses on why he wanted to break up with me because that is a statement which I cannot argue on.

Have you ever feel that you wanted to speak but your voice failed you? That is exactly what happened to me. My mind was screaming "NO" but my heart tells me that if I really love him, I must let him go. I manage to gather my courage after a few minutes and say "Yes, I will let you go" even though my mind was screaming the word "NO" again and again. I know I will not have any regrets saying those words because this is what he really wanted and that reason alone is enough for me to make my decision.

At the moment of writing, I am crying but not much and this is not tears of sadness but it's tears of joy. This experience showed that how much I have grown up, how much I really loved a person and how wonderful my relationship had been. It's perfect and I could not ask for a better one. He will always be perfect to me and so will this relationship. I will miss him as my lou gong and I just hope that somehow, anyhow, as little as the chance might be, for me to be his zaizai and for him to hold me dearly in his arms again. Last but not least, for me to love him as his spouse again.

Marky Mark, you will always be my one and only lou gong and even if somehow I did found another person, he will never ever be called lou gong as in my heart, I only have one.

The other day, when I was in your place taking a nap, I dreamed that you came to me, hugged me and you called yourself lou gong when you talk to me. How I wish that was true. I love you Marky Mark. I think I will stop here now because I am not thinking straight anymore right now.

To you readers, I am sorry for the grammar mistakes and my jumbled up words. I am not a good writer even though I wanted to be and I know this is one long stupid post.

We Broke Up

2011-04-20T08:13:00.015+08:00

We broke up last night. We said our goodbyes, amidst muffled sobs, as we held each other tightly before he left, at a quarter past midnight. I was determined not to cry, but when William tearfully muttered "Goodbye, lou gong" in my arms, I burst into tears as well. We've been together for more than a year, and we shared so many fond memories with each other. We're still good friends and I'm still here for him, and I know that William still loves me very, very much.

In my current circumstances, I just didn't have much time to spend with him, and give him the company and attention that he needs. I have a lot more commitments in my life right now, be it from the job, business and/or family. Even so, every time I wanted to go out, especially during weekends, we would be out together. But now, our outings and personal time together have been scarce. How I wished that life was simpler like few years ago, when I had at lot less to worry about and just enjoyed life a lot more, but life doesn't stay that way forever. The lack of time was really taking a toll on us, especially William.

The deepest thorn in our relationship was that my feelings for him have diminished. I felt that I no longer loved him like I used to. I'm not saying that I totally didn't neither. I still love and care for him to an extent, but not as a BF anymore. I knew this would be painful for him to hear, but I had to be honest with him. Whenever he asked if I loved him, I couldn't bring myself to answer him. I truly believe that you should only tell someone that you love them, only when you really meant it. I didn't want to lie to him and William noticed it as well. Sometimes, I still wonder if it's because of the tiredness or stress that's causing me to feel this way...

My relationship with William was the longest that I've ever had. It was also the most pleasant, loving and happy one. NO ONE has loved me more deeply and passionately as William did, which made me even more guilty when I felt that I didn't reciprocate his feelings. I couldn't give him the love, time and attention that he was meant to have. This wasn't the first time we talked about a break-up, but the third. And this time, we really went with it after really talking it through. I wasn't keen to break up with him, because I was afraid that I would have made a grave mistake. Amongst the few that I've been with, William was the best. But, I can't be in a relationship with someone that I didn't love. It would just be miserable for the both of us, and terribly unfair to him.

It was still painful in the end, and for the most part for William, although both of us cried. William is a deeply emotional person, and I can't help but want to protect him because I feel that he can be so fragile at times. However, I know he will be alright, because I also know that he is stronger than he thinks. I'm in tears as I'm writing this, in grief of letting him go. It was such a difficult decision to make, because I know how sad and painful it would be for him. I can't stand to see William cry, and I can't help but be reduced to tears as well every time he does. It just didn't feel right to go on, since I can't commit to the relationship right now nor give him the love that he so rightfully deserves.

However, a part of me still fears that I might regret this decision. Only time will tell if we eventually end up together again, or move on with our lives. Only time will tell if we were meant to be apart, or just needed a break from the relationship. I woke up this morning with a heavy heart, engulfed with sadness. Even now, I'm a lot more worried and concerned about him than myself.

I will miss zai2 very much, but I'm also glad we didn't go through an ugly break-up. I'm glad that we're still good friend, and both of us need some time to heal. I know that he is still with me, and I will always fondly cherish our memories together.

A Different End?

2011-04-12T21:54:00.005+08:00

Ever since the movie 2012 came out, there has been a lot of annoying claims that it could come true in Dec 2012. Annoying as it were, I gotta admit that mother nature has been diligent in steering us in that direction. A devastating series of earthquakes and tsunamis have been hitting various parts of the world over recent years, killing hundreds of thousands of people.

A recent movie that came prompt me to think that perhaps our apocalyptic end might not come from the wrath of mother earth, but from beyond the skies. World Invasion: Battle Los Angelos capitalizes on UFO sightings worldwide that results in a massive alien invasion, but what if this could become a possibility?

Like the increased occurrences of natural disasters hitting the world, sightings of UFOs have increased as well.

Think about it.

Financially Challenged

2011-03-28T22:40:00.019+08:00

"Money is not the most important thing in the world, but it is important for most things in life"

Do you agree with this quote? People who actually believe that money is the root of all evil, should try to argue the destitute, homeless and financially bankrupt. If you still believe that, by all means, I would love to relieve you from that 'evil'. And people who believe that are also those with the most money and arguably, might have too much time to think and conjure up such nonsensical notion. A gun doesn't kill people, people kill people.

My life has taken a financial backseat in the past couple of years. Added commitments and some unfortunate incidents have caused inevitable outward monetary surge from my coffers, and this has become a source of self-inflicted stress. Don't get me wrong, I'm not approaching poverty any time soon. But, I am the type of person who believes in saving for a rainy day. Wisely cautious or borderline paranoid, however you want to put it, I'm always wary that shit might happen, which would require digging into any cash reserves. So, it is distressing to me that the meagre digits in my bank account haven't given birth to more digits, and have been quite stagnant in the past couple of years. Right now, my expenses (which is quite little) and commitments are almost equal to my salary.

I'm not a big spender. In fact, I haven't been shopping for a long time and my very limited wardrobe bores me to tears. I've been wearing my worn out gym sneakers for almost everything for almost 2 years. My social life in Penang (and KL) is like Lindsay Lohan's career, almost dead. I'm in need of a lot of things right now, and I'm tempted to just throw caution into the wind (or in front of a speeding bus) and get them.

However, I've come to realize that life is how you choose to be. I've been making myself feel miserable for the past year. 2010 felt like hell for me coz I was stressing myself out. And for what? It's not as if money will come crashing down from the heavens if I choose to indulge in self-inflicted worries. Instead, I should re-adjust my focus. Shift my mental energy to observe what I truly have, and what I can do to improve it. A brand new car (coz my old one got totaled thanks to dad), a steady roof over my head, a brand new computer, enough food to eat every day; basically the necessities (yes, a PC is a necessity for me, like my liver). Sure, I'm not as rich or fabulous as the next wealthy snob, but my life doesn't suck ass either.

Whatever the circumstances, we ultimately choose how we react towards it. Circumstances won't change, we change. There is no merit dwelling in despair, nor indulging in negative self-talk. We are who we choose to be, whether you believe it or not. Also, I leave you with this...

"The wealthiest person is not the one with the most money, but the one with the least debts".

This is SO true...well, in my books anyways =)

The Reasons Why (Part 2)

2011-03-21T22:51:00.006+08:00

Woke up in the middle of the night and the first thing that came into my mind was my ~~poop~~ pooh bear. Take another fifteen minutes or so to think about him and decided that I can't sleep...again...and thought that it's about time I wrote something. Besides, he's super busy nowadays and life has taken a toll of him :( so, I guess it's up to me to keep his blog alive. Sigh, all I can do is watch and watch and watch on what is going in his life... Seriously, sometimes I feel so useless because I can't help and it's equally torturing to watch your other half suffering what he is going through now. Well, I guess that's what they meant by midlife crisis. I feel that it is a waste of time to actually feel sorry for myself for my inability to help or sorry for him cause well, it's JUST POINTLESS and it will leads to nowhere. So nowadays, I'm trying new methods to help him relax which includes trying to learn how to massage ~~and also massage the stick below~~ which I think, is a good way to relief stress.

Anyway, in times like these, I think I should be playing a strong character and I am really glad I did.

Was listening to a CD talk in the car earlier and that guy said something like "Teamwork, there are times when one is on the verge of giving up or they feel terrible that they really wanna quit but that's when the other one will be strong and give encouragements and support on not to give up. When I asks my uncle and dad can they do this alone and they just look at each other for a moment and said 'No we can't.'".

That made me realized that this is really what I should be doing and even though I might not be able to help physically but at least I can help mentally. I know I am totally off topic but just wanna make a point in this hehehe...

Okay okay, I got emo-ed again now so uhhh....opps??

Actually, I'm not really off topic. I was stressing that out because today, it made me realized that we've gone quite far and Mark really changed me AaLOT along with SOMEONE else... I feel like an old guy repeating this again and again but I really really really appreciate what I've gone through with him. It's very memorable and full of experience and I do not feel wasting my youth going through all these.

You know, actually when I was writing Part 1, I've allocated Part 2 to compare him with my ex-es but now, I realized that I have to change it. Why? Because I see no point in comparing him with my ex-es anymore cause they're not worth NOT even close to how valuable he is.

So, this is all about us :D (~~~it's all about us, all about us~~~) Swweeeett... Don't you think that humans are amazing because you can still make new discoveries on another person after being with that person for like...a year or so? (try to imagine ten and twenty years down the road) One of the most cutest *emphasizing* things I ever discovered is the way he urm...what's the word for it?... crunch his face? Urm...okay just like this ------> >.< <---- Yeah, when he made his face like that, it's just so daaaammnn fugging cute! He does his manja face whenever I sulked or playing I-am-angry-with-you and I just couldn't help but laugh and say "Stop doing that face! Pai kuah kah beh si!". In my heart, I just looove it despite what I always say when he does that. OMG SO CUTE!!! Passionate and understanding is what I can say next.

Apparently, I still cant shake off being insecure because of jealousy on a certain someone but we have learned to communicate with each other when in doubt or if there's any misunderstanding between both of us. It proved to be effective (communication) and I guess one of the key points in maintaining a relationship is to clear your doubts and always able to talk to each other. Anyway, all I can say is that he knows what I want (most of the time) and nowadays, when I have doubts about something, I'll just tell him that we need another talk or so which...thankfully doesn't happen often but just...seldom. Opps... It's actually a good thing when I look at him and I know he's thinking about something and likewise. The expression is like an emergency alarm which we both understands and when it is triggered, we know that something is troubling our other half. When that happens to me, he'll have that OMG-here-comes-another-wave-of-emoness look on his face while looking at me and when that happens to him, my only thought is "Aiya, deep shit" and bug him about what he's thinking since he sorta likes to keep those thoughts to himself for some time just like the other day when he got his "period".

A little bit about me so far is that I am still all sticky-icky on him and I sorta can't believe that I am still that sticky after a year. (Hahahaha *proud*) Well, I just couldn't help it and sometimes, I just wonder should I actually limit myself to how much I should love him or let it be because well, I think I loooooove him too much until the point where I become so sticky and super concern about his well-being. It just makes me equally emo when he got emo-ed and I can't help it. Whenever he's gloomy, then I know I'll be gloomy the whole day too and I'll be totally moodless. I find this reaction quite stupid actually as I don't see a point on why should I be emo. Okay, enough of my crap and I think I'm gonna WoW abit or read my novel before I hit my pillow wahahaha!

P/S: Finished writing this about 0430 but then, I can't post it without the owner of the blog's permission >.< And I'm telling this because I wanna make those who's working JEEAAAAAHHH-LOSSSS *evil*

Still Self-conscious

2011-03-21T21:05:00.023+08:00

I used to be fat in my late teens into early adulthood. On top of that, I had bad skin and acne problems. It's probably no wonder that I've been very uncomfortable under my skin ever since. Even though I've come so far and improved by leaps and bounds, I've never quite gotten over being physically self-conscious. Although that feeling has toned down considerably since those dark days of self-bashing and deep-seated self-loathing, I've never really been able to shake it off entirely. Yes, I know that everyone struggles with their own insecurities, and may even triumph over 'em if you consciously work to overcome them. Subsequently, I've always figured that I'd have gotten rid of it by now.

I'm still self-conscious about how I look topless. So much so that I've never taken my shirt off even to my closest friends. Sure, I've always been working out regularly and in fact, fitness has become so routine for me and the gym is like my second home. Sure, my body is miles away from what it used to be, and I've grown some muscle on me bones, but I'm still embarrassed that I don't look as good as I should for someone who goes to the gym. To this day, I'm still not able to take my shirt off in public ~~except that one time when I was clubbing in KL on new year's and my friends pulled my shirt off and shoved me on stage~~. How sad T.T

I still find it difficult to smile in front of the camera, since I'm not the least bit photogenic. Thankfully, my skin has improved dramatically, and I owe it all to Artistry (let me know if your interested). At least I look more pleasant in photos now, but I still dread the stare of the camera occasionally. And I can't endure close-ups. They reveal the nooks and crannies that should be concealed under piles of make-up, but I never wear make-up. Nor do I touch up any of my photos. So, whatever you see on Facebook is the REAL DEAL. Call if pride or whatever you want, but I don't believe in falsifying my own image in a bid to improve the viewers expectation of myself. I believe that should you want to friend me, you should be sincere and like the person that I am. Furthermore, what's the use for you to make photos of yourself so utterly gorgeous, only to end up bombing the person's expectation when he/she finally meets you? Potong steam I tell you. Might as well be just who you are =)

Yeah, I know this post is supposed to be about me being all self-conscious, but I gotta insert something positive in there. A long time ago, I've made up my mind to avoid negative stuff or be whiny about myself. When I started this blog, it was more about self-expression, whether it be good or bad. However, my posts were more negative back then. So I'm glad to say, it's taken a turn for the better in recent years. And my posts are way happier these days =)

Maria Aragon And Lady Gaga

2011-03-08T08:42:00.001+08:00

Maria Aragon is a Filipino-Canadian girl from Winnipeg, Canada. Her mother is a native Filipina from Ormoc, Leyte, Philippines.

On February 16 2011, a video of Maria performing a cover of "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga was posted to her sister's YouTube channel to showcase Maria's talent to friends and family. The video caught Lady Gaga's attention and she was so impressed and moved to tears by Maria's performance that she retweeted a link to the video to her eight million followers and showcased it in the Facebook page, causing a sensation and launching Maria to instant international fame. The video garnered over 10 million views on YouTube in five days. In 6 days, her video, "Born This Way - (Cover)" on Youtube had reached about 19 million views.

Ellen DeGeneres took notice of her from Lady Gaga's tweet and invited Maria to appear on her show on February 21, 2011, where Maria again performed "Born This Way" on the piano earning a standing ovation from the audience. You know it's another dream come true when you're on Ellen (think Charice!).

Toronto's Virgin Radio 99.9, was the among the first media outlets to reach out to Maria and attempted to fly Maria and her family to Toronto so that Maria could perform live on air but it was cancelled due to the weather. During an interview on HOT 103 in Winnipeg, Lady Gaga called into the show to tell Maria how moved she had been by her performance. Lady Gaga then invited an already surprised Maria to perform "Born This Way" with her at The Monster Ball Tour concert in Toronto in March, an offer which Maria enthusiastically accepted.

On March 3, 2011, Maria joined Lady Gaga on stage in front of a packed audience at the Air Canada Centre, where together they performed an acoustic duet of "Born this Way" with Maria sitting on Gaga's lap, playing piano and Lady Gaga working the pedals. At the end of the song, Gaga turned the microphone over to Maria who thanked the audience and Gaga for allowing her to perform.

Maria's so sweet and Gaga's got a big heart. Love 'em both =)

Born This Way

2011-03-07T22:03:00.017+08:00

I just LOOOOOVE the lyrics of this song. This one is closer to being a awesome rock song instead of her more eccentric hits but the MV is one of Gaga's freakiest yet!~

I really adore the message and beat more than any eccentricities or how much of a club hit it would be.

It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'Cause you were born this way, baby

My mama told me when I was young
We're all born superstars
She rolled my hair, put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir

"There's nothin' wrong with lovin' who you are"
She said, "'Cause He made you perfect, babe"
"So hold your head up, girl and you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say"

I'm beautiful in my way,
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
(Born this way)

Ooo, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
(Born this way)
Ooo, there ain't other way
Baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be!

Give yourself prudence and love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice the truth
In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth

A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-I-M (hey, hey, hey)
I love my life, I love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah

I'm beautiful in my way,
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Ooo, there ain't no other way

Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
(Born this way )
Ooo, there ain't other way
Baby, I was born way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

(Queen, Don't be, Queen)

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're Lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby, you were born this way

No matter gay, straight or bi
lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
chola or orient-made
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to be brave

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, yeah!

Ooo, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
(Born this way)
Ooo, there ain't other way
Baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

I was born this way, hey!
I was born this way, hey!
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, hey!

I was born this way, hey!
I was born this way, hey!
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, hey!

Lady Gaga performs "Born This Way" live At the 53rd Annual GRAMMY Awards.

I love that she can sing REALLY well live. No synching or auto-tuning, even while dancing. This just shows how musically talented she really is. Love Lady Gaga!~

It Has Been A Year

2011-03-07T21:18:00.004+08:00

Who'd have thunk that when I went out with zai2 for the first time, we would be together up to a year? As of 3 March, a year has gone by since we declared ourselves officially as a couple. Last Thursday, we had a great dinner at one of my favorite Japanese restaurants, Soba Yoshi at Krystal Point. Great tasting, authentic (you know it's good when plenty of Japanese ex-pats and foreigners eat there regularly) and fresh food with large portions and prices from reasonable to extravagant, I just can't get enough of it. Zai2 knows I love it, so he insisted we had there. I was paying anyways =p

Months ago, I won a lucky draw from the company's team-building event at Hydro Majestic Hotel at Batu Ferringhi. The prize was a voucher for a free 2D1N stay there as well, inclusive of breakfast. As soon as I won it, I HAD to reserve it for zai2. I knew he'd love it, since we rarely got to travel and stay together. The room was spacious and satisfactorily clean, especially the bathroom. I have NO tolerance for dirty toilets or bathrooms. We checked in at around 3:30pm there, settled down our things and was prepared to head out again. I planned to watch a movie at TGV since we both love the seats and popcorn there. However, zai2 got a little too 'excited' and we left at around 5pm instead.

We arrived at 1st Avenue almost an hour later and I was STARVING, thanks to the activity prior. We headed to the cinema to check out the movies and decided on I Am Number Four at 6.55pm. Then, we headed down to the lower ground floor to Old Town for some light snacks. I had a couple of soft-boiled Omega 3 eggs and a single PB toast, whilst zai2 ordered the indulgent french toast. Zai2 left half for me to finish since I was so famished, and pounded away on his PSP. After all that and popcorn later in the movies, fat die me ><

I Am Number Four was pretty good. Storyline was simple and straightforward, the protagonist was smokin' hot and the action was outstanding, especially at the end. It is just me or is TGV's screen bigger? Seriously, the hero was shirtless a bunch of times (not complaining here XD) and his nipples were almost the size of my head...which is also HAWT! Also, it's my first time in a BEANIEPLEX! RM 13 per person for a couple-seat bean bag chairs, I HAD TO TRY IT OUT (very jakun here). As soon as I stepped into the beanieplex, I knew some couples were regulars, brought blankets somemore.

After the movie, we met up with Dennis at Coffee Bean in Gurney Plaza, since zai2 wanted to try out the new yogurt dessert they have there. He ordered the yogurt parfait, which was quite alright. A pleasant chat and some roaring laughter later, we headed to the nearby hawker center for some light supper. By the time we got back to the hotel, I was pooped. I didn't get much sleep that night. Zai2 was in sticky mode, so he wanted to cuddle and sleep...but that gina was like a worm, wriggling here and there during the night. As a result, I woke up multiple times T.T

On Sunday morning, we headed to the beach opposite the hotel after breakfast. Climbed some rocks, smashed some barnacles growing on rocks and watched a elderly woman opening oysters on some rocks. We walked around for a short while before zai2 complained it was getting hot. By the time we got back to the hotel, he complained that his legs were hurting from all the stairs. Hehe, what a little diva! We packed up and still had a little time to spare so zai2 got 'excited' again. So we ended up checking out 30 mins late, luckily still can get my deposit back =P

All in all, I could see that zai2 was really happy over the weekend =)

Happy 1 year anniversary zai2!~

2 Friggin' Weeks!

2011-03-01T12:19:00.002+08:00

Yeah, it's been THAT long since I last updated. Not coz I was lazy or anything, but life has been a huge handful lately.

As of today, it's been 3 months into the new job. Still trying to grasp the elaborate processes required but one major thing that sticks out like a sore thumb. There are SOOO MANY DOCUMENTS! Seriously, I come from a paperless environment in my last job, and this is something I still have trouble adjusting to. Everything has to be printed out, submitted and kept for documentation. I think I will kill a small tree every three months. We are a global company and I find it ridiculous that we're taking part in Go Green initiatives and using so much paper.

Also, file organization in the system is almost non-existent. In simpler terms, it's a freakin' mess. So properly revision control, lack of updates and plenty of incomplete documents. Sometimes I can't really blame them. The amount of documents to print, file and keep is tremendous!

What I MISS THE MOST is the flexibility and freedom I used to have. I miss coming and going as I please. I miss submitting my leaves online and adjusting as needed at any time. Here, I wanna go on half day leave also have to submit two forms and wait for boss's approval before I can get out of the plant.

I won't even bother to mention what a bother it is not to have internet. How the hell am I going it google for ~~WOW stuff, Facebook all day, update my blog and watch Youtube~~ work stuff then? One good thing is that I don't park my ass in front of the desk most of the time, except if I have some documents to do. Or else, I'd bore myself to death. So I'm usually up and about.

Our production is FILLED female operators, mostly Malay or Indon, that like to give awkward stares every time I pass by in production. Sorry ladies, even with enough make-up on to kill a wild elephant, and even though I think some of you are actually gorgeous...I'm not interested. Why aren't there any cute guy operators? Sigh ><

The big kahuna has begun dumping numerous projects on me, when I'm still in the dark about most of the processes here, so I'm kinda struggling to keep myself afloat. Communication really needs to improve here, especially for some colleagues in my own department. Giving me bits and pieces and incomplete info and you expect me to perform optimally?

On the other hand, I do enjoy the company of my colleagues. I find them to be matured, nice, friendly and kinda fun. I felt a sense of welcome as soon as I began as they included me in most of their activities right away. The organization in my office isn't that huge, so everyone basically know each other, making it seem like a more closely knit community. That, and the slightly higher salary are the only positives that I can derive at the moment. It's no wonder when some of the older folks would bet on how many of the new people would actually stay for long. Recently, a new person in probation left after just 5 months =/

Exactly a month ago, I went for an interview (surprise, surprise!) in one of the top US companies that sells one of the world's best technologies *hint*. I really hope I can get it. They are still in the process of selection, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed since there are 4 positions available and only 10 people, including myself interviewed for that position.

Pray for me...will you? =)

Leavin' On A Jet Plane...

2011-02-15T08:39:00.006+08:00

About 5 years ago, my bestie Joseph left Penang for KL to live with his BF.

Then Isaac moved to KL for work.

Months ago, my dear foodie Brendan began work in KL.

Last year, PC left for New Zealand to continue his PHD.

Recently, Shawn just left for greener pastures in New Zealand.

Yesterday, Albin made a sudden announcement that he's leaving Penang to return to his hometown by the end of Feb.

On the same day, my dear friend Sonia from KL called to tell me that she'll start work in China on 24 Feb.

I know it's not up to me. And I know that I can't stop anyone from moving on and getting a better life, but it feels like so many good friends have left.....and I'm feeling so lonely all of a sudden. My list of good friends here grows thin.

I miss you all =(

Out With The Old, In With The New

2011-02-15T01:28:00.003+08:00

When 2011 started, I had a feeling that it is going to be a year of change. Somehow, I felt it and I can't explain it. And so, the first change happens. Last Tuesday, dad got into a nasty 4 car pile-up at Gelugor area with my Wira. Dad's ok, but the accident was a messy. He hit a Hyundai, and a Kancil rammed from behind. The front was almost flattened, and the back suffered a fractured bumper and scratches.

Mum was pretty stressed out with the whole thing, as she had to drive out to meet dad and settle the accident (police reports, insurance claim etc). And she decided there and then that the Wira must go. After all, we've had it for about 12 years. We settled to have another Myvi join the family. Mum is currently driving her own Hyundai Getz and she got sis a new Myvi many months ago to get her to start driving. And now, I'm getting a new Myvi, which I will be financing on my own. Yes, in with the new car and a new tear in my wallet too. But still, I'm pretty excited to be getting the Myvi. After all, I've been hogging sis's car anyways =P

Don't Piss Me Off...

2011-02-08T21:40:00.008+08:00

...or I will curse YOU with an extremely slow death!~

ROFL, I know it has been released since end of 2009, but I just found this and it's just hysterical!

ASK JACK about his extremely SLOOOW death experience.

How to fight that Ginosaji? What weapons can you USE?

Now, your decisions could affect Jack's fate. CLICK on each of the alternate endings to find out how!~

HAHAHAHAHA, this shit is damn funnehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!~

*ROFL till almost dead*

Happy New Yeaaar!

2011-02-03T10:20:00.001+08:00

Happy Year of the Bunneh!~

Oops, I meant Happy New Year of the Rabbit XD

May this year be filled with joy, prosperity, abundant wealth and great health! Also, don't eat too much else your waistline will 'prosper' too =P

When 2012 Comes...

2011-01-28T23:48:00.009+08:00

...this is how we will die. Attack of the puppehs!~

LOL, Terran kitteh vs Zerg swarm puppehs XD

I bet the cat is thinking, "Get the hell off meh, you fluffy lil' white racist bastards! WTF, get your ass out of my face. Oh, my nuts! Oooi, get YOUR faces out of MY ass~"

*jumps up onto box, stares down at Zerg puppehs and whips tail helicopter style triumphantly*

Serious, this is the CUTESTESTEST thing evar!~ And that cat is damn patient and/or even loving it, plowing into a whole bunch of 'em like that. If the puppies don't lick you to death, you will just die from cuteness overload.

PS: That cat REALLY looks like Chips, my pet kitten that passed away during my stay in Malacca. A more grown up version that is. I distinctly remember the adorable stripes of fur on her belly =)

Beats That Make You Move

2011-01-22T13:36:00.012+08:00

When I first heard of this song on radio, I thought it was a prank song or something. Then, I heard it few more times and realized that it was an actual song. Then, I heard it in Bagan during NYE celebrations there and my ass caught the beat.

It's none other than the infectious and peculiar song by Yolanda Be Cool and DCup called We No Speak Americano by Australian duo Yolanda Be Cool and producer DCUP. It was released on the independent Australian label Sweat It Out on 27 February 2010. We No Speak Americano became a hit in Europe, Australia, and Latin America (where the song is also known as Pa-Panamericano) as well as a top 40 hit in the U.S. and Canada. It also won the 2010 ARIA award for Best Dance Release.

Another would be Stereo Love by Edward Maya featuring Vika Jigulina, a Romanian hit released in summer of 2009. Stereo Love received over 91 million YouTube views in less than 12 months and it is the longest song in the history of European top Hot 100, accumulating 52 weeks.

So what are you waiting for? Move that ass!~

You're A Firework

2011-01-19T08:03:00.002+08:00

I really LISTENED to Katy Perry's new song, and what it says really speaks to me. I think it's an amazing and beautiful song.

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from cavin' in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under screams
And no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em goin "Oh, oh, oh!"

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Hope seems so bleak and distant at times. We stop ourselves from enjoying life because we think that we are not good enough, even worthless compared to those around us, when no one actually sees us that way. We hide ourselves for fear of being different. It's time to do what's right. It's time to stand up and stop letting fear halt our tracks. It's time to ignite the light and unleash the fireworks within us. It's time to be the person we were meant to be, and live life as how we should be.

We are all uniquely orginal, beautiful and are stronger and more resilient than we think =)

Entering Adulthood

2011-01-18T21:21:00.023+08:00

11.1.11 was a special occasion. Not just because of it's numeral uniqueness, but it is the day zai2 could officially vote, drink and enter clubs without fear of raiding police dragging his skinny ass back to balai!

Naturally, we planned a surprise. Since zai2 hadn't been to The Ship before, Albin decided it was the right venue for this occasion.

As an appetizer, Albin ordered half a dozen escargot with cheesy, garlic sauce. Zai2 only ate a teensy piece, with great difficulty. I found it delightful though. First time eating a snail =P

Zai2 had fish baked in creamy and cheesy sauce. Very filling indeed.

The steaks were mediocre and felt rather tasteless to me.

I had the Chicken Au Chambertin (hope I spelt it right). It was just...meh, I've had better.

See, this ginna so excited to open his present.

Dennis got him a porcupine bag, to complement his porcupine hair XD

I bought zai2 something he always wanted. An ice-cream cake from Baskin Robbins, filled with strawberry cheesecake ice-cream and layered with caramel top. All 3 things zai2 loves...strawberries, cheese and caramel. Fat die us but as long as he's happy lor XD

Just a small, but still rather noisy gathering.

Happy birthday zai2!~

Partying Our Way To 2011

2011-01-11T14:53:00.008+08:00

NOTE: I know that this is a LONG overdue post, but I got lazy and had trouble uploading the pics. There were too many ><

I definitely wanted to celebrate the coming of 2011 outdoors. Didn't wanna sit and rot at home while the rest of the world roared during countdown. No, I didn't plan to be Gurney Plaza, nor Esplanade where our dear CM Lim Guan Eng would be, and risk getting squashed by the masses and face the frustration of the possibility of counting down in the car amidst unmoving traffic due to blocked roads and block-headed revelers who might get a little too rowdy. I decided to head to Straits Quay with zai2 and meet up with friends there. Straits Quay is Penang's newest sea-front mall. Love the architecture but it's not fully populated yet. Only restaurants, quite 'atas' ones, have taken root. Incidentally, Straits Quay is also fast becoming a new 'IN' place for the vast population of Penang's gay people.

Massive Xmas tree...or just a tiny little zai2 XD

We also have a lighthouse, which now looks kinda eerie with the green light.

After spending 15 mins there with Isaac and Dennis, Isaac commented it was BORING. Well, the crowd congregating there were mostly family-oriented, and not even a small concert there could spice it up. SO, we decided to head over to Bagan instead. They were having a countdown event there too (which club/popular venue isn't), so we hastened our asses there. Traffic was surprisingly smooth, despite the fact that it was already past 11pm.

Can you see how hard we were partying down there?

'Train'ing to I Will Survive!~

Camwhoring on the dance floor XD

I partied so hard that night. It's been such a while since I went so wild. Drenched in sweat all the party and it's amazing my ass was still intact. Freakin' awesome way to welcome 2011!~

Shawnie's Farewell At Ingolf Kneipe

2010-12-31T16:50:00.034+08:00

Yesterday, we headed down to Ingolf Kneipe German restaurant to have a farewell for our dear friend Shawn. He'll be leaving for New Zealand on 7 Jan, so you can still catch him until then.

Zai2 got an advance birthday gift for Shawn. A TENGA EGG XD

Ingolf Kneipe is very well known in Penang for it's great German beer and food with affordable prices. This place is always packed. If you don't have a reservation, you could end up waiting up to an hour for a table. Well, if you had to, you could chill at the bar with beer first.

Luckily for us, we DID have a reservation. We were in a German restaurant, so naturally, lots of meat and sausages!~

Zai2 and I felt really hungry, so we ordered the Caesar salad, which came lightly dressed with duck breast, crispy bacon bits and croutons. I hate a Caesar salad that's sodden with too much creamy dressing, so this was perfect. It also came with a small bread basket consisting of some sliced sourdough bread, sliced baguettes and butter.

We both also shared the Butcher's platter. It was a huge plate for various kinds of sausages and meat so we couldn't finish it. There was a big piece of roasted pork belly, which I'm usually not a fan off. But this was done superbly with the fat under the skin rendered down and absorbed into the meat. This resulted in a really crispy and caramelized skin with soft, buttery, tender pork. The various types of sausages on the platter were a delight as well. Very tasty and oozing with juiciness XD

The platter came accompanied by a thick onion gravy and German mustard. I absolutely LOVED the mustard, soooooooo good.

The pot pie was loaded with soft, fluffy mashed potato fused with oodles of melted cheese. Could use more meat sauce underneath though but no one was complaining.

Dennis had the special of the day which consisted of a duo of pork and chicken. I didn't get to taste it, but doesn't it look so inviting?

The beef roll that Shawn had was really good, according to him and zai2. And Zai2 doesn't even like beef!

Albin, a frequent patron here apparently, had the mixed grill. I wanted the bacon so bad =P

Our feast...can you believe the 6 of us managed to scoff this down our bellies?

Ingolf is definitely one of my fave places to eat. I've never had a bad or mediocre meal there. Everything is usually abundantly-portioned and very pleasant to the taste-buds.

We will DEFINITELY be missing our fave body-jammer in the group. Quite a few of my good friends have made a move elsewhere recently, either to green pastures or just a new change in their lives.

Tis' The Season To Be...Sick

2010-12-23T18:21:00.018+08:00

Last weekend was pretty fun. I just joined the new company for a little more than two weeks, and was already invited to join the annual team building for the department. It was a 2D/1N event at Hydro Hotel from Friday to Saturday, and it turned out great. Really sped up the process of breaking the ice and getting to know my new colleagues, most of which I didn't even know existed. The age spectrum of people in my department are on the higher side, but I found them to be very amusing, amicable and loads of fun. Enjoyed every minute of it and they made me feel very comfortable around them. Through the event, I saw how closely knit they were, and they made sure I felt right at home.

Oh, and during lunch on the last day, I got my hands on a nice, big, fat snake!~

Yes, get your head out of the gutter people. Moving on~

Sunday night, I came down with diarrhea...a few times. Tummy felt queasy and uncomfortable, and I know some shit has gone wrong (pun intended). True enough, I woke up at 3am with a fever. Took 2 Panadol Actifast and struggled to fall back to sleep. Pretty difficult since my body couldn't decide whether it was hot or freezing and waged a battle within, switching to and fro and messing up my body's thermostat.

Needless to say, Monday was an off day for me. I woke up with the most uncomfortable feeling in my gut, like an alien baby was festering inside and decided to use my large intestine as a chew toy and my small intestines as it's belt. I struggled to pull myself out of bed. It's amazing how multiple sessions of peeing through your ass and sleepless night due to a sudden brief attack of fever can sap all your energy and make you feel like crap. Thankfully, my fever was gone when I woke up. But I was weak, tired and my body felt like it had gone through a pinball machine. I struggled to get to the clinic for my meds and MC, only to find out probably like half of the people in the neighborhood also decided to pay the doctor a visit that morning.

So, I had to wait...and wait...and wait. I swear, at some points, I don't know if I wanted to faint, puke or kill the other people who were waiting so that I could go first. Nah I'm kidding, I wouldn't even the energy to kill 'em anyways. Subsequently turn finally came, more than an hour later. The diagnose was severe indigestion or food poisoning, as suspected. Must've been the damn Prosperity burger I bought for dinner on Sunday. The sauce was a little too strong and the color didn't look right too. Took my meds and got home as fast as I could. For the entire Monday, I could only manage to eat a piece of bread and an apple, nothing else. Every time I put a morsel into my mouth, my stomach couldn't decide whether it wanted to devour it or expel it. Felt horribly nauseous and dizzy all the time, and my appetite was nowhere to be found. So, I basically just slept through the day. See, that's why I HATE GETTING SICK. I feel so helpless and useless!~

Thankfully by early Tuesday morning, my tummy felt a lot better, the nausea was gone and my appetite wandered back. But, I still had to take the day off coz my body felt like it only had the strength of a starving kitten. As I munched on some bread and had an apple, mum came over to announce that sis just came down with chicken pox.

Yay, what a lovely week to inch towards Xmas!~

(sarcasm intended)

Bad Sleeping Habits

2010-12-14T22:01:00.026+08:00

Seriously, I have to get rid of it. I'm sick and tired of it, coz it's literally making me sick and tired. I'm talking about bad habit of SLEEPING LATE. It's OK during the weekends occasionally, but it's a huge damn no-no when the habit begins to intrude into work days. I'm getting really plain fed-up of being heavy-headed and physically tired most of the time on week days. Life just seems a lot harder and considerably bleaker when you're constantly deprived of good quality sleep. It's really difficult to stay positive, upbeat, motivated and energetic when you're groggy and mentally and physically out of tune. Life just feels like a drag, anchored and dull. In the long run, lack of sleep is also harmful for health. Your liver goes haywire, it ages you faster, wrecks havoc on your complexion, your hormones go on a roller-coaster and your bodily functions become irregular.

I know I have no one else to blame but myself. I used to say that I'm a nocturnal creature, being more alive at night. That's still true. I still find myself being more active at night. There's something about staying up late that just appeals to me. Perhaps it's the rebel side of me relishing the late nights, but it's getting out of hand. So I'm putting my head down (on my pillow, that is) so to speak. I used to regulate my sleeping hours religiously, except for weekends. Since I workout quite often, I need good quality sleep daily to recover, so I used to set a rule of no less that 7-8 hours of sleep each day. And I'm going back to that. Time for discipline to step in. No more only 4-6 hours of sleep.

Aside from the perpetual tiredness and health factors, it really messes up my schedule. I find myself napping at intervals during the day, or waking up during weekends in the afternoon, which is essentially half of the day gone. And the sleep debt that accumulate is really horrible. Sometimes, it feels like no matter how much sleep you catch up on during the weekends, it's still not enough. Horribly erratic sleeping patterns can really fuck you up.

Likin' Big...

2010-12-10T18:57:00.005+08:00

This is the original song Like A G6 by Far East Movement

And this is the freakin' awesome parody, Likin' Big Dicks.

Holy shit, I think the parody song is waaay better than the original. And it really helps that the MTV is so boner-ifically HAWT! Seriously, they should play it at gay clubs. I would definitely shake (my ass) to that song!~

My Biggest Fear

2010-12-09T22:14:00.021+08:00

I had an short but interesting discussion with some of my gal pals when I was in KL last weekend. The subject was on gays getting married and I don't mean the gay kind. One of my biggest fears is that I will end up old and alone, rotting away with no one to take care of me. I really understand why parents keep pushing for their children to get married, and a huge part of it is for this reason alone. Parents hope that their son or daughter will settle down, start their own family and be taken care of in old age. No parent wants their child to be left old and alone. Even if their intention is not to start family, there is still the hope that they would at least get married for companionship, just to have someone to grow old with and look after each other. I know the lot of you might respond that you can take care of yourself. You can certainly say that when you're young. But when old age arrives, illnesses tend to follow. Who will take care of you then if you're all alone? That thought really scares the bejesus out of me.

Even gay people would like children some day, if possible. I know I'd love to have kids some day. I guess at this age, my paternal instinct is just catching up. I love the idea of having a little Pooh running around. Someone with lots of laughs, smiles and hugs (and I'm not talking about the little devil). Someone I can impart my wisdom and values to. Someone I can watch grow up and be proud.

But then, I have no idea if I'm able to do it, and I DON'T mean the sex part. Would me getting married mean that I'm abandoning part of my identity? Would I just be selfish for getting married just to have kids? Would that even be fair to her at all? Would I be able to love her and endure the marriage? Or would I snap one day and just go back to being who I am? How devastating would it be if the marriage landed in shambles because I couldn't stand being in a straight marriage? How would she feel if she knows about me? Do I even tell her? Can I endure not ever telling her? What if I get married and realize it was all a mistake? Do I even want to risk that? What IF I don't risk it and then regret it for the rest of my life?

Some many questions about the future run through my head sometimes, and I don't really know where to go. I REALLY don't want to end up old, alone, sick and neglected. And I don't know if I can handle a marriage, but I'd love to start my own family. One of my gal pals actually suggested that I marry a lesbian. We could at least take care of each other and shut our families up, until they start asking for babies that is.

Sigh, am I just thinking too much?

What would you do?

New Month, New Job

2010-12-06T23:48:00.011+08:00

I finally left the company on the last day of Nov, after a little more than 4 years there, and I leave with mixed feelings. Relief that I can finally move on, joy and anticipation that I will break out of this stagnant cycle and try something new, and of course sadness, that I will be leaving a place where I have forged good friendships with my colleagues and others who have made an impact in my life. I'm missing my colleagues and the working environment already ><.

It was a move that I really needed to make. I need more money and I was sick of traveling across the bridge every morning. After 4 days in the new place, I'm REALLY missing two things that my ex-company offered; FLEXIBILITY and the INTERNET. Moving from a US MNC (multi-national company) to a German one really makes a difference. In my ex-company, we were free to go out of office WHENEVER we wanted, provided it didn't interfere with our job or cause problems. Lunch hour, although dictated by HR, was ultimately decided by us. Not much work meant longer lunch hours. I could go to the bank in the afternoon if I needed to. Heck, I used go to the nearby Jusco in the afternoon if I needed to get something. Bottom line, we were free to move about in and out of office as we pleased, as long as we didn't cause any problems.

But, lack of flexibility wasn't the biggest thorn in my shoe. The staff there, except managers or higher level personnel, were NOT ALLOWED to use the internet. Holy cow poop batman! Might as well take away air as well. We are only able to communicate via email. Seriously, I can't survive without internet, and this is what I missed most in my ex-company, where we could use the net for anything, except accessing external email and of course, venturing into 'questionable' websites. The new company has very strict policies of enforcing security within its network, but you can easily block sites that are deemed inappropriate. At least, let me be able to Google something ><.

However, the new company isn't without some merits. The cafeteria food is better and a lot cheaper too. The working environment is much quieter and more serene. I miss being in a cubicle coz we have open table concept here. The biggest perk of course, is the traveling distance. Depending on traffic, I can usually reach work within 10-15 minutes.

I'm gonna give them 6 months to a year to see if it will work for me. Ultimately, I want to move out from engineering and take up something more related to management, like marketing, HR, PR etc, as long as they are willing to provide some basic training. I like dealing with people and don't want to be tied to manufacturing forever. I have been told, even by my ex-manager and feedback from previous team, that I possess good communication, negotiation and influencing skills, which I intend to fully use whenever I can. I'll see where this goes, and won't hesitate to hop to something better, even within next year. I'm at a point in my life where I want to find something that works for me. Don't talk to me about loyalty or shit like that. I want to do something that I'm happy doing, and gives me what I want. Enough with the compromising.

Just The Way You Are

2010-12-02T00:11:00.003+08:00

Ever since I watched the Glee version of this song, I fell in love with it more.

Simply love the message of the song. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, inside and out. Collectively, we are each unique yet gorgeous as one.

I know I've been slacking off a little on my blog lately, especially in the last 2 month. Life has just been a handful lately. Will try to blog more ya =)

Just Shake It!

2010-11-22T10:58:00.041+08:00

When Shawn showed me this South Park clip from Youtube, I thought it was just something really funny and ridiculous that they made up.

Being the curious bastard that I am, I search on Youtube to see if it was an actual product...AND THIS SHIT IS REAL!

The Shake Weight debuted in July 2009, and due to the perceived sexually suggestive nature of the product, infomercial clips of the exercise device have gone absolutely VIRAL. Since the infomercial first came out, it has been featured on the news, numerous talk shows and went crazy on Youtube. So, I just HAD to share it's awesomeness with you guys XD

Even SNL paid tribute to it!

Then, they came out with a Shake Weight for men, which is BIGGER and LONGER.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.....I loved the feature on Ellen's show the most. I almost died laughing XD

Seriously, I don't care if the Shake Weight works, but is the product and infomercial just plain stupid...OR is it an ingenious way to generate loads of publicity (and sales) due to the suggestive sexual nature of the product? I suspect it's the latter, coz watching all those clips somehow makes me really wanna own one XD

It Gets Better...IS HUGE!

2010-11-16T14:05:00.015+08:00

More and more celebs are becoming a part of Trevor's 'It Gets Better' project. You'd be surprised...

Jewel...she's just gorgeous. LOVE her =)

The amazing Adam Lambert. I personally love what he's saying.

Bet you didn't know Suze Orman (go google her if you don't know who she is) was a lesbian =)

Zachary Quinto, I'm sure you know who he is. I love his clip, it's so touching and I can really feel him wanting to reach out.

You know how huge this is when you have the US President rooting for it!

Go OBAMA!

My Dearest Mimi

2010-11-11T00:18:00.044+08:00

A fellow blogger Calvin just posted about the loss of his pet dog, and this triggered memories of my own pets. I'm an animal lover. In fact, when first deciding a career, I had wanted to be a vet. Due to circumstances in those days, being a good vet meant overseas education. Money was a huge issue so I had to ditch that dream. As a kid, I'm also constantly fascinated by nature. In those days, National Geographic was the only series available to engross myself in the natural world.

I kept numerous pets as a kid. One of my fondest was my first pet kitten. God, how I adored her, and weirdly enough, mum who didn't like furry creatures about the house didn't seem to mind her either. I can still remember where I found her. In my kindergarten years, I lived in amongst a row of houses situated behind a row of shops and eateries. I would cruise in and out of those shops at my leisure, until the owners practically knew me and didn't mind. I even befriended some of the owner's children. A common sight in those shops were stray cats and kittens lingering about. I decided, after some persuasion from the kids there, to adopt two rather thin-looking kittens. Took both of 'em home, but one decided to leave after a day or two, so we took care of the one remaining and named her Mimi.

Mimi was the life of the house. I would play with her for hours. Grandma, who was still alive at the time, was responsible for feeding and 'disciplining' her. Seriously, she had a magic touch, and also a 'lidi' in her hand at the time. Mimi was so disciplined that she would only poop in the toilet next to the drain hole, or run outside and do her business somewhere in the garden. During meal times, she would never jump to the table or steal food, she brushed herself against our feet under that table, meowing softly until we fed her after dinner. It was so endearing and we didn't mind. Every time mum wanted to clean the floor, she would just hop onto the couch and sit there watching the broom or mop move, never budging or trying to chase the broom/mop. Bath times were fun. Sometimes mum and I would clean her when she was giving me my bath. She was always a clean little kitty, even when we allowed her to roam outside. I even made her a little cat house with a couple of boxes, complete with windows and a porch, which she totally didn't use, being active and all. Whenever I lay of the floor in the afternoon for a nap, Mimi would always climb and fall asleep on my warm belly, much to mum's amusement.

Once, my cousins came visiting and decided to feed her chocolates. They left a trail of tiny bits and Mimi would follow, nibbling each morsel. Big mistake, as the next morning, Mimi left a trail of vomit everywhere she went. And for the rest of the day, she kept coughing, heaving and was weak even a few days after that. Another incident that remain etched in my mind was one of the weekends when our family would go for outings, which I loved. Dad was hurrying us out in the porch and mum was rushing to finish folding the clothes and closed the drawer. I called out to Mimi everywhere, but she couldn't be found. Dad got impatient so we just went out anyway. When we returned 4-5 hours later, Mimi was still nowhere to be found. As I called to her, we suddenly heard a faint scratching sound.

Every time we called her name, the sound would appear, although rather faint. It was baffling but eventually, we traced the sound back to the drawer, pull it open and out she jumped. She looked at us, meowing softly and walked kinda wobbly. Poor little thing must've either been hungry, suffocating or traumatized, being stuck in the tiny drawer for hours in the dark. She must've jumped into the drawer while mum was distracted and didn't notice her among the clothes. Luckily, I brought home some leftover Big Mac that day.

One fateful day when dad drove home from work, I went to open the front gate as Mimi began racing to the front when she heard the car. She was fond of everyone in the family and usually greets everyone when they came home at the gate. Dad shouted for me to grab her and take her inside before he could drive in. Being the kid, I just grabbed her and flung her into the garden. After doing some flips in the air, Mimi landed on the ground perfectly on her feet and sprinted past me towards the car. Dad couldn't stop in time as he pulled into the porch...and ran over her right in front of me. I shouted in horror as dad rushed out of the car.

Immediately, Mimi started having spasms and twitched violently. Being so young at the time, even I knew something was horribly wrong and that Mimi was in severe agony. Blood started trickling out of her mouth and nostrils. And soon, the spasms stopped and she lay perfectly still. I sobbed uncontrollably as I watched. I desperately tried to get her to move and breathe. Both mum and dad tried to pacify me. Mum was in shock too. She hadn't seen me cry so profusely before. She began yelling at dad for being so careless but in the end, there was nothing to be done. My beloved Mimi was gone, right before my eyes. That, was my first brush with death and loss of a loved one.

That evening, dad buried her in the soil across the road. Early the next morning, I rummaged through a pile of construction wood that grandma collected and came out with a long and a short piece of wood. I went and got dad's hammer and some nails as well...and in the backyard, I began hammering the two pieces of wood together to form a cross. As I hammered, I couldn't control myself and started crying uncontrollably again. Mum and dad awoke from the sound and ran to the back, alarmed that I might be doing something dangerous. When they found me, I looked at them and mumbled in a shaken voice amidst the intense sobbing that I wanted Mimi to have a proper grave. I think mum cried when she saw what I was doing and heard what I had said. She told me to come inside to clean up while dad finished the cross for me.

When it was done, the three of us went out to Mimi's grave and dad placed the cross on the grave as we said a word of prayer for her. I still cried for weeks after that, whenever I thought of her. And to this day, I still remember my dearest Mimi, after more than 20 years.

Gosh, writing all this made me tear up again...

The Pooh Is 30!~

2010-11-03T14:20:00.015+08:00

Yes, I just turned 30 yesterday. My 20s have gone and a new era has begun. The Pooh has left early adulthood and into his prime...

OMFGWTFBBQ, I'm 30!~

All drama aside, it's not really as bad as I often paint it to be. It's just another number and now that I'm there, I feel more or less happy. I'm a lot wiser and looking forward to the new chapter in my life. No doubt I'll still need to energy to deal with the scandalous little devil, but I think I can handle that.

B'day celebration was a simple one. Dinner @ US Pizza in Nagore road with Shawn, Jamas, Scott, Albin and Dennis. It wasn't a big crowd but I couldn't care less. Any time spent with close friends is always fun and worth it. Zai2 couldn't join coz he had some family issues, so it'll be another celebration by ourselves. Another reason both of us should celebrate is that zai2 finally got the temporary job in HSBC. The pay isn't that much, but at least it'll stop him from saying 'bo lui!' every time I wanna go out with him.

Only 6 of us for dinner, and we ordered 4 large pizzas. We couldn't help it coz there was a promotion of 2 pizzas for the price of 1 every Tuesday. As a result, we felt like hippos after makan. After stuffing our pie holes with the pizza pies, with some leftover to tapau for zai2, came the b'day cake. It was the chocolate mud cake from Secret Recipe and tasted as rich as it looked. We only managed to polish off a quarter of the cake, after Scott and Shawn took compromising pictures of me removing the candles with my mouth.

Too many calories later, we brought the house down with some good-natured bitching and laughs before we called it a night at...10pm. You knowlah, old people can't stay up late d.

Aiks, sudden back pain while posting this, I wonder why ><

Also, I suddenly noticed that I have 30 followers...coincidence?

HAPPY BURPDAY!!!!

2010-11-02T00:00:00.010+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY MARKY!!!

Love you very much muaakk...

The Reasons Why (Part 1)

2010-10-24T14:31:00.004+08:00

I realized that when it comes to expressing myself in words, I tend to be sloppy or even worse, unable to express myself in the way I wanted. Maybe because I don't have a strong vocab, so my choice of words are limited to plain English. Well whatever it is, I failed the first time and I would like to try again :)

Well, here goes...

7 months into relationship with my dear hubby and it is still going strong I might say. Still misses him like hell even though we met often. 2 weeks without him was literally like hell to me. Thankfully, he calls and SMSes me very often which I like very much. We still love to be around with one another and he likes to makes me go "humph" and of course I like to make him go "humph" too :P

Yesterday, a question just came into my mind, "Why do I love this big bear bear so much?" and I found that there are more reasons than one.

Physically speaking, he is not the handsome until like a superstar kind of guy nor he is super fit like how a sportsman is. Just like Jason, I do not expect my other half to be all handsome, cute and perfect. To me, I would only admire and goes all high and neigh (a random rhyme) when I saw those too-perfect-to-be-true guys. I prefer imperfections and that's what makes my Marky perfect :)

Imperfection is perfect

I find him cute and adorable despite what people had said about him. He had been smacked in the face with the word "Ugly" and I would like to smack those people back in the face with a mirror for saying him so. I had never find him ugly or anything alike ever since we first met thanks to Zemien gor gor. All this while, what I expected from my other half was an average looking guy but now, what I get is more than an average looking guy. So, what else can I ask for? He is definitely definitely NOT ugly (yes, I am stressing this) and he's cute in some way. The seriousness of his face just makes me melt at the sight of it even though his pooh pooh brows makes me giggle sometimes lol!

I too do not expect my other half to be all buffed up and wow...he is seriously buffed up. Just to make some of you guys jealous, imagine this, you get to be hugged by a hunk and the tenderness of the muscle is just...indescribable! At the same time, you get to hug them back and feel the flesh of it and the best of all, IT HE IS YOURS!!! So, what else could I asks for? I loooooove to be hugged and in truth, I had always been searching for someone to hug me and to really feel the love they put in the hug and this hunky's hug is just purrfect. Those hugs I received from my ~~son of a bitch-es~~ Ex's are full of lusts and nothing more. His is nothing about lust...

I loooove knowledge even though I don't really practice all that has been bestowed upon me and Marky has all the knowledge I could've asked for. He's clever, matured and he's not like those people who just do stuff without thinking about the consequences. See, he scored another point in my imaginary "The criteria to be my bf" list. I have had a dumb ex who talks about real dinosaur in this era and godd...I still remember I was arguing with him about it the WHOLE DAMN NIGHT! I do feel that I am more matured thinking now that I am with him and I am really grateful for that. I really love the way he corrects me when I am wrong despite the fact that I would be hard-headed sometimes and refuses to listen to his advice :P Still, all in all, the arguments we had do makes me more matured thinking.

I do not rant about the lack of time nor do I have those bad thoughts thinking that he might be cheating on me and so on anymore. Seriously, back then when I was with those ~~son of a bitch-es~~ ex-es, I used to think that they're cheating on me (in which 50% of those cases are true). I have a lot of free time and like what he taught me, "An idle mind is a devil's workshop", I tend to think a lot (of nonsense) until those time time issue happened. Now, I don't think about those stupid unnecessary thoughts anymore. See, that's how much I've changed. He has his career to think about and I had changed from the fact of a sticky-icky kind of person to a do-what-you-want kind of person.

There will be a lot of time ahead of us so, why should I rant about the lack of time? Instead of wasting time ranting the lack of time together, why not I just appreciate and enjoy the time we have when we are together?

Broadway For The Trevor Project

2010-10-20T14:08:00.003+08:00

Broadway stars rock out in a celebration of life, in the wake of the string of LGBT suicides. Please SHARE this original song and video to help send a message of hope and support.

God, I'm lovin' this. Don't give up, it gets better.

*hugs*

2 Weeks Apart

2010-10-18T16:03:00.018+08:00

Zai2 has been really sick whole of last week. He came down with a shivering, cold fever overnight early last week and waited for 3 days before he actually went to the doctor. By the time he went, according to the doctor, he had already contracted a secondary infection, complete with a swollen and inflamed throat, coughing, gastric attacks, nausea and recurring fever. I told him to see the doctor as soon as he had the initial cold fever, coz by then, no amount of panadol is gonna get rid of it for good. Infection has set in, immunity is down and his body's temperature has already gone haywire. When I asked him why he waited 3 days, he said he didn't wanna waste money ><

Someone please reprimand the stingy, auntie side of him, can? I already did but I'm sure he'd love the attention. Anyhow, up till last weekend, his ailments have subsided but his appetite isn't back yet and he's still tired all the time. But, that didn't stop him from going on a picnic early yesterday morning and get buried in the sand that was shaped like a transexual mermaid!~

We hadn't seen each other for almost 2 weeks, but we're both still pretty busy last weekend, so only managed to spend time for dinner. Anyhow, he's going to get a temp job soon after just completing his IT diploma. It'll be a good idea, since everytime I wanna ask him to go out, all he'd say is 'bo lui' ><

Noroi

2010-10-13T23:37:00.038+08:00

Noroi (The Curse) is a 2005 Japanese horror film made in the form of a mockumentary. It describes Masafumi Kobayashi, a paranormal expert who produced a series of books and movies on supernatural activity around Japan. He disappeared in the process of making his greatest and most disturbing film yet, The Curse. This film has not been seen much out of Japan, and is pretty lengthy at 2 hours.

I've just finished watching Noroi on Youtube. Let me warn you, if J-horror movies like Dark Water, Ringu or Ju-On gave you a bad scare, this movie will utterly mind-rape you and is a lot more disturbing. What makes Noroi so engagingly spine-chilling is the fact that the entire film is shot with a hand-held camera, and any shocking footage looks VERY real, hence a lot more disturbing. If you're a fan of watching reality shows or documentaries about the paranormal, Noroi is DEFINITELY for you.

And unlike similar western films, such as The Blair Witch Project, Noroi unabashedly reveals what was lurking in the darkness and any fucked-up imagery that the characters were seeing at the time. Noroi does a great job in creating an eerie atmosphere of fear from both creepy music and voices and strange paranormal phenomenon. In some scenes, you KNOW you're about the see something REALLY fucked-up, but morbid curiosity takes over and you just can't seem to look away.

Like most J-horror films, the plot can be rather scattered and shown in different time intervals. You'll find a hard time linking anything together and the different events don't seem to be related at all, but it won't really matter. Inevitably, everything begins to piece together in the second-half of the film. And the ending...really sums it up and will prove to be very shocking. The story and concept is both unique and outstanding. The cast were really excellent and believable to the point that it makes you wonder if this is really a film, or did it really happen in real life.

While J-horror films have a tendency to have some slow intervals throughout the film, there wasn't a dull moment in Noroi. From beginning till the end, it just grabs you and feeds your hunger to know what the hell is really going on. The only complaint I have is that some of the questions that were left unanswered but that's just a minor flaw to me. The entire movie definitely made up for it. Kudos to the Koji Shiraishi for this creation.

Leave it to the Japs to create really messed up horror. Noroi can give you some seriously disturbing chills and you might have trouble sleeping at night. I just hope the US doesn't suddenly get a hold of this and decide to make a crappy remake to ruin it.

Finally, It's Done

2010-10-04T13:57:00.016+08:00

It's time for a move. I just threw the letter on 30 September. I should have done it much earlier, but I needed to get out of my comfort zone. Four years into the job, you're comfortable doing what you do to a certain degree, despite the unfavorable circumstances. No doubt, I'm thankful that I'm able to survive two rounds of VSS and keep earning. However, I can't shake the feeling of being stuck in something that was already at a dead end. In fact, I had already lost any hope of going higher in my third year here. And with that, I felt unappreciated and eventually discouraged.

Ironically, the economic recession decided to reel it's ugly head and employers everywhere reeled in their fishing rods, shutting out any bites until recovery was in place, so I was stuck here into the fourth year. One regret I had was not taking the second VSS which came in December last year. I could seriously use the money and that would have been the perfect spark for me to aggressively pursue a new career. My gut feeling told me to take it, but mum advised against it. Being in the employment field and in a HR dept to boot, of course I took her advice. Much to a slight distaste that is.

But what's done is done, and what matters is now. They offered me the job 2 weeks after the interview in August. Somehow, I knew that I would be getting it, as the interview went swimmmingly. What ensued after the job offer call was a month of relentless negotiation on my new salary. I was disappointed at what they were offering (still am), even though it was little improvement. Long story short, I decided to take up the new job for two obvious reasons; distance, and higher basic pay. I'd be back working in Penang island, after 4 years of driving to the mainland. It would definitely save me some time, effort and money.

However, the small boost of income won't be enough to entice me to stay for long, although it's what they're offering in probation. HR claimed that there would be a salary increase after probation ends but who knows how much it would be. It could just be a insignificant blot of cash, and I'm leaning towards that since negotitations was an epic fail. They couldn't even meet me halfway on my expected. I even turned down the new HR's offer to buy me off from my current company, as that would include a 1 year bind in my contract. No can do, if I don't get a good income boost after the probation, don't expect me to stay behind. It takes two to tango. Why should I give you what you want, when you don't even try to satisfy my needs? I'll give it a year at best. If nothing gets better, this will just be another stepping stone and I can demand more at my next job.

DON'T question me about loyalty. I have bills and other commitments to pay.

It Gets Better

2010-09-27T13:55:00.026+08:00

Prompted by the recent suicide of 15-year-old Billy Lucas, who reportedly suffered homophobic harassment at Indiana's Greensburg High School, columnist and author Dan Savage has launched the It Gets Better Project, a campaign on YouTube that's meant to assure young people that no matter what they are experiencing, including family rejection, bullying or harassment, there is a future beyond high school. Savage created the site in conjunction with World Suicide Prevention Day, held earlier this month. Dan Savage is sending a message to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender teens: It will get better, really!

Coverage on Billy Lucas:

Dan and husband Terry.

Even Perez Hilton is apart of this.

A couple of random clips from the project.

I think that this is a tremendous idea. Sometimes we think that there is nothing outside our bad situation, but there is. And the 'It Gets Better' project is exactly the kind of outreach that we need. Having people who've experienced similar hardships to share their life's journey and deliver the hope of a much better future could change lives, or help those in the same situation to hang on until the storm finally passes.

No doubt, it's a lot tougher for the Asian LGBT community, as conservative discrimination, narrow-minded intolerance and ignorance still run rampant. Although the situation here in Malaysia is still largely intolerant towards the LGBT community, viewing the videos gave me hope. That however shitty the situation we're in, it won't be shitty forever.

Go ahead, check out the videos in the channel.

Kumar @ Attica

2010-09-21T15:45:00.003+08:00

Kumar at his best. Warning, don't watch at work unless you wanna risk people thinking that you're laughing with tears in our eyes while staring at your 'work'.

ROFL, definitely one of my fave stand-up comedians XD

Self Defense and Safety Tips - Part 2

2010-09-14T14:14:00.005+08:00

Part 2 is more about crime prevention and how to save yourself in certain situations.

1. Learned this from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you! Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

2. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail-lights and stick your arm out the hole & start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

3. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc and just sit there doing their cheque book, or making a list, etc. STOP DOING THIS! The predator may be watching you and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE!

4. Before getting into your car, BE AWARE. Look around you, look into your car,
at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.

5. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their female victims by pulling them into their vans while they are attempting to get into their cars.

6. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and on the passenger side. If a man is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall or work place and get a guard or policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.

7. If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running, or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full force so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.

8. When you walk along the road, always walk facing the traffic if you can, so that you can see whoever that's coming towards you. This is also a common sense to avoid getting hit by a vehicle from behind.

9. Especially at night, ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot.

10. Ladies, if you're waking along the road, wear or hold your hand bag or purse on the side that's not facing the road. And ALWAYS be aware of any suspicious characters lingering around you. Don't just walk mindlessly. (I've seen a woman get her handbag snatched right in front of me coz she was just simply walking and swinging her expensive handbag)

11. LOCK your car AS SOON AS you get in. I know it's the same emphasis as #3 but it can really save your life to be paranoid here. It can take someone a split second to just open the door and enter after you got in, especially if they have been stalking you unnoticed. It will be too late once they get in. That is how a lot of kidnapping or robbery cases via car-jacking happens.

12. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! If you feel that corridor feels unsafe, someone suspicious is lurking nearby or might be following you, or something bad is about to happen, trust your instincts and take action. Quickly run, go into a public place, locate the nearest security/police area or turn back. Don't risk it because of your ego. It's not worth it.

13. If you are driving and notice that you're being followed or if someone is attempting to stop you, NEVER stop on the road. Always KEEP MOVING so that the predator cannot get to you. Drive to the nearest police station or somewhere public where you can get help.

Be safe =)

Step Up 3D

2010-09-07T13:04:00.015+08:00

As explosive as the trailer was, Step Up 3D was the absolute BOMB! Definitely one of the best movies I've seen this year, trumping both of its pre-quels.

Plot was kinda weak and downright predictable with almost zero character development. In fact, the beginning felt kinda rushed into the main plot. I think it took about 15 mins before the movie descended into the main plot. Acting was nothing to shout about, pretty mediocre.

However, Step Up 3D definitely made up for it with really SICK and MIND-BLOWING dance choreography, excellent cinematograhy and some awesome characters. Even from the start of the movie, we have a brief taste of how awesome is was gonna be. Loved the funny twins, loved the dancing kids, loved the freakin' robot man! *spoiler alert*

One of the soundtracks from the movie during the tango scene. Bust Your Windows by Jazmine Sullivan.

Best soundtrack from the movie (IMHO), Club Can't Handle Me by Flo Rida featuring David Guetta. I'm so FUCKING ADDICTED to this song right now.

This movie was definitely worth the wait. Don't expect much from the story acting. Just sit back and be WOW-ed in your seat by the out-of-this-world dance moves and great soundtracks.

Please Drive Safely...

2010-09-04T13:56:00.005+08:00

Oh dear God, watching this makes me re-live the nightmare that could've been. One of those drivers could've been me. I was shaking and tearing up as I watched this.

It's just horrific how your life can take a really UGLY twist at any time. The pinned lovers at 2:38 really tears me apart.

Shit can happen on the road at ANY time, even if you weren't driving. But please, always drive safely.

Officially 6 Months

2010-09-02T23:46:00.000+08:00

I can't believe it's been 6 months since zai2 got hooked by my hunny XD

So, I think I'll make a post to see what I already know about the little devil!~

1. Zai2 loves anything with lots of cream, mayo and/or cheese. You can see his orgasm face when he's eating it. Don't you just hate people who can't get fat?

2. Zai2 can't stand CHOCOLATE. Not out of allergy, just out of hate for the stuff *blasphemous gasp*. Apparently he doesn't like the gooey, sticky texture of chocolate in his mouth.

3. Zai2 is extremely, and I mean EXTREMELY picky about food. He doesn't eat almost any seafood, nuts, durian or anything normal that he feels weird about. Also, he doesn't eat anything in bones or shells unless it's already been removed for him.

4. Zai2 doesn't think that good food is worth it. He thinks that everything ends up as poop so spending money on good food or being a foodie is a waste *fainting gasp*

Pooh: Ok, #2 to #4 alone should be enough for me to 'divorce' him coz it's simply blasphemous in my books, but I didn't. Ah, the things I do for love =D

5. Zai2 likes surprises, something which I'm not very good at ><

6. Zai2 is very auntie, always complaining about the cost of everything. Good thing is that he's very, VERY conscious about anything that he spends, or whatever that I spend on him. =P

7. Zai2 loves strawberries, but he doesn't like the fresh stuff. Instead, he wants the artificially-flavoured ones from soft drink or strawberry ice-cream. So weird kan? ><

8. Zai2 doesn't need me to spend a lot of him, he just wants my company. Awww~

9. Zai2 has special 'sight' or 'senses'. No, he can't tell what color your undies are, or if you're wearing any (unless he goes and molests you). But he can tell if there is 'someone' standing beside you...

10. Zai2 is paranoid about his family finding out about him. So, don't simply tag him in FACEBOOK!

11. Zai2 doesn't like coffee. Apparently the caffeine gives him headaches.

12. Zai2 can be very curious, enough to kill 2 cats.

13. Zai2 had a wet dream about me, twice XD

14. Zai2 loves Baskin Robbins ice-cream. He thinks Haagen Daaz is for old people. ><

15. Zai2 is very talkative. He can go on chattering like a train.

16. Zai2 only weighs 48 kilos. I can literally carry him around on my back like a backpack.

17. Zai2 cannot sleep still one, even when cuddling. Susah betul wanna tidur with him sometimes =P

18. Zai2 is extremely playful and mischievous. Don't be fooled by his innocent, shy demeanor when you first meet him. Once he's familiar with you, habislah you.

19. Zai2 likes to go commando. Now, I also get infected by this habit.

20. Zai2 loves jellybeans.

21. Zai2 loves me like there's no tomorrow =)

Hmmm...wonder if I missed anything? =P

Fabulous Week

2010-08-31T14:34:00.004+08:00

A couple of weekends ago, I had the priviledge of playing host to a fellow CYT (cute young thing) aka chiku blogger from KL, along with zai2 and Tonnchita aka Dennis. Our dear Cookiedonut aka Jason is having a four month vacation *deeply envious* and one of his travel destinations involve the land of abundant delish and affordable food, PENANG! He was supposed to be on a trip with his college mates, but decided to arrive in Penang alone for the weekend before they arrived this evening. Dennis and I had actually met him in KL early this month when we were in Cheras for our leadership seminar, so Jason booked us for this weekend to have fun and food beforehand ^^.

Dennis picked him up from the airport early Saturday afternoon and checked him into Tune hotels smack in the middle of town. Seriously, if you're planning on dropping by Penang on a budget and limited transport or knowledge on how to move around while hungering for Penang food, stay in Tune hotel! You can get A LOT of Penang's best foods within walking distance at any time.

Without delay, Dennis brought Jason to Him Heang (on my recommendation coz he should not miss it) for their oh-so-famous Tau Sar Pneah, or Dao Sar Peng as Jason called it. This was followed by a nom-noming session at New World Park. Char Koay Teow (CKT), fried oyster, ais kacang, curry mee and I forgot what else they had, but they basically stuffed their faces XD. I could only meet up with them at night as I had a private function to attend that afternoon. For a slightly late dinner, I took them to have something 'light' at Esplanade. The food court in Esplanade houses one of the most HEAVENLY fruit rojaks in Penang (one of my ultimate fave rojak haunt is here), and so I ordered a heaping large plate worth RM12. We also have a famous Pasembur stall here so we ordered a pretty big plate too. We had two sausages, two eggs, one large fried prawn fritter, one fried beancurd (I think we call it that ><) and a potato as the main ingredients. All this is topped with lots of shredded turnip and cucumber, poured over with a divine sauce and a sprinkle of crushed peanuts. Both were so delish!~

After dinner, it was time to strip Jason of his BBC (Boom Boom Chambre) virginity. We got there early at about 11pm coz we wanted to secure a place to sit. 30 minutes later, the place was almost fully packed. I also noticed a new club opened right opposite BBC. It is the same mansion building occupied by the late MOMO club, and after being empty for almost a year, a new club called VOODOO has opened. A friend of mine took a few of us in for free to have a look. We even got ourselves stamped so we are recognized as paid patrons =P. VOODOO looks SUPER FABULOUS. Ok, jotting that place down for clubbing next.

Back to BBC, we had a blast there. I haven't been there in about 4 months (or more). The 'hostess' for the evening was Jada, and Brendan was right, she's absolutely hilarious! Laughed our asses off every time she spoke on stage. Freda was the usual 'hostess' and Jada only came to perform occasionally, so we were luckily that night. The dance shows as usual were great and well-choreographed with really jaw-dropping costumes. Loved the dance with the feather fans, so fabulous! For BBC virgins out there, BBC usually has stage shows every Wednesday and Saturday. On Saturday, there would be two shows, both featuring performances by the dance group and 'hostess', at 12am and 1.30am. The music at BBC improved a little from the last time I was there, which felt like a MJ or 80s nite at the time, seriously disappointing for clubbing music. And the DJ was still the same middle-aged fella who would gyrate of music only HE enjoyed, while the rest of the crowd stood still.

Last Saturday wasn't too bad, music was good enough that we could dance and enjoy it, although some of the Lady Gaga remixes were in bad taste. As the night progressed, the music spiraled back to disappointment. I think that's why the crowd usually leaves after the last show. Zai2 and I didn't drink, but Dennis and Jason did. And Jason drinks pretty fast too. Hehe, drunk CYTs can be fun to play with, especially during clubbing. Somemore, my little devil is around, so...habislah Jason, lost like 50% of his 'kesucian' XD. After all that dancing, shaking, ~~molesting~~ and good laughs, we called it a night at around 2am since I had an Indian wedding to attend on Sunday morning.

On Sunday, Dennis again played host during the day. I was too pooped coz I slept at 4am+ and woke up early in the morning for the wedding. Zai2 and I picked them up for dinner and we headed for New Lane hawker food. We had sotong kangkung (heavenly sauce!), chee cheong fun with thick prawn paste, belacan chicken and beancurd, wet popiah, wantan mee and fried prawns(in place of oysters). Mmm...food was really good =P. After that, I suggested we went for lok-lok at Pulau Tikus, which elicited a high-pitch screech of excitement from Jason. That boy really loves lok-lok, or anything in a form of a stick, dunno which XD.

Lok-Lok at Pulau Tikus was average for me, didn't eat much of it. They were out of cockles (si hum!), which was Jason's fave. However, they did have skewered mantis prawn, first time seeing it at a lok-lok place. After that, I wanted to surprise Jason with a really luscious dessert place along Gurney Drive called Crepe Cottage. Turns out Dennis has already brought him there (potong stim), but we still headed there anyway. This is a place NOT to be missed when you're here. It's kinda difficult to detect although it's just by the side of the road since it doesn't stand out.

Crepe Cottage is a very affordable, quaint little gem of a place that serves both savoury and sweet crepes and desserts. It's run by a widow and her family (I think). Since we were rather stuffed, we only ordered two things. The expresso crepe came with a large thin slice of dark coffee-infused crepe, a side of large scoop of fresh almond-vanilla ice-cream and dollops of fresh cream and had a drizzle of caramel sauce throughout the dish. We didn't manage to take a pic coz it landed into our tummies pretty fast.

The HIGHLIGHT was the Mango Cup that came after. All four of us were astounded when it arrived. If the room was dark, we could've lit it up with the light from our eyes. Mango cup came with a thin, crispy crepe shaped like a bowl filled with generous slices of sweet mango, topped with two LARGE scoops of heavenly mango ice-cream and a couple dollops of fresh cream. And there was more cream on the side. A really BIG portion for only RM11, really worth it! Mmm...and it tasted as divine as it looks *DROOL*. Again, thanks a lot to Brendan for recommending this. With dessert, we also brought the house down with our intense laughter, especially Dennis. Laugh until wanna kena sawan babi liddat! Thanks to me of course XD

We went there again last night for Jason's last supper in Penang (his third visit there in a week XD). This time Shawn tagged along. Ordered a few of their savoury items and they did NOT disappoint. Crepe Cottage is very generous with their servings, despite the low price. Jason had the seafood pasta that was loaded with large slices of fish and prawns. Zai2 had the Chicken Cheese Pocket (I think that's what it's called) that was filled with lots of cheese and minced, herb-ed chicken topped with generous lemon cream sauce. One bite and you were in heaven, unless of course if you're lactose intolerant =P. I had the Cheese-crumbled Chicken. A butterflied, deep-fried chicken breast breaded with cheesy bread crumbs topped with a citrus sauce and came with a side of stir-fried vegetables and a crepe. After we finished our dinner, rain began to drizzle but we decided to continue sitting outside and held two umbrellas to shield ourselves, much to the amusement of the staff. We immediately moved inside when we saw a few people leaving and found a table enough for four and got ready to order dessert. Just as we're settling down at the table, THIS came to our table.

And it was on the house! Apparently the lady owner came and told us it was free for us since we stayed outside despite the rain and didn't leave. What a lovely gesture! Of course, we HAD to order the Mango Cup again. Seriously, love Crepe Cottage to bits. Awesome food, very affordable prices (the most expensive item on the menu is only RM20) and really generous with the ingredients. On top of that, NO service charge!

After having all the yummies in our tummies, camwhoring ensued.

Jason boarded a plane back to KL on Friday morning. We'll miss ~~molesting~~ extending our Penang hospitality to you back here. Also, go back to gym to burn off everything you ate XD

PS: William Ng aka Suneo, bila datang Penang? BBC and food waiting for you!~

Self Defense and Safety Tips - Part 1

2010-08-27T15:36:00.003+08:00

You can NEVER be too cautious these days. Crime can and WILL happen at any moment, especially when you least expect it. That is why I'm compelled to share these self-defense tips that I've received over the years. Today's post is going to be about assault and robbery:

1. Your elbow and knees are the strongest points on your body (why do you think Muay Thai fighters use them so much). If you are close enough to use it, don't hesitate!

2. For anyone who can't throw a proper punch, use the base of your palm (the point where your wrist connects to your palm). It is one of the hardest parts of your hand. This tip is especially good for women.

3. If the assailant is in front of you and you have a chance to hit him, hit that bastard where it's gonna hurt...BAD. He's not going to play fair, so why should you? Aim for the groin, throat, ribcage, eyes and nose. Here's what you can do:

a) Knee him in the groin as hard as you can.

b) Elbow him repeatedly into his ribcage or his face.

c) Claw at his eyes (this is good for ladies, especially if you have long nails). Don't hesitate to poke his eyes out.

d) Use the base of your palm and hit him repeatedly at the nose. It's gonna be really painful, especially if you manage to break it.

e) If you're able to land a punch, punch his throat. Aim for his Adam's apple.

4. If you're being held from behind, I've read a few tips on how to free yourself:

a) If there is a wall behind you, shove yourself backwards as hard as you can and hit the assailant against the wall. This will momentarily knock the wind out of him.

b) If you're able to move your arms, try to get a hold on one of his fingers and twist it backwards really hard (it's really painful, try it if you don't believe me). Don't worry about breaking it. In fact, it's better if you do.

c) If you can't move your arms, stomp on his FEET really hard. This may not seem obvious at first but it can really hurt and may temporarily loosen his grip.

5. As cliche as it might seem, you can always bite whatever body part that is close to your face. And bite HARD.

6. For ladies, keeping longer nails finally might have some merit. If you can't get near his eyes, dig your nails into the assailant's exposed flesh and draw blood.

7. If he has a knife and you're not cornered, turn around and RUN! If he has a knife pointed behind you but doesn't have a hold on you, just BOLT as fast as you can. Preferably run into a PUBLIC AREA.

8. If he has a knife and you're cornered, SCREAM as loud as you can. Usually petty robbers are afraid of drawing attention and will flee.

9. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zig -zag pattern. (from a police officer)

I'm by no means a self-defense expert. I received these tips are from various sources (usually from emails) which come mostly from self-defense experts and law enforcers to advise people on how to defend themselves.

If you're being robbed, it would be better to give up the money than risk anything else. If the predator's intention is kidnapping, rape or physical harm, that's when you have to start to defend yourself. These predators usually prey on those they think are weaker than themselves. If you've fallen victim, DON'T BE AN EASY VICTIM. Give them hell! Especially if your life is at stake. Chances are they will leave you alone if you can put up a good fight. Whatever happens, don't be afraid to make A LOT of noise to announce that you're in trouble.

Be safe =)

Can't Get This Outta My Head

2010-08-26T11:39:00.005+08:00

Ever since I heard this song on the radio, it's always been playing at the back of my mind and I HAD to look for it.

LOVE the lyrics, LOVE the catchy melody, LOVE the MTV and trying SO HARD not to dance to it!~

Addicted To Aarti!

2010-08-24T17:04:00.004+08:00

Aarti Sequeira is an Indian food blogger living with her husband Brendan in LA. She is the winner of the latest Season 6 of The Next Food Network Star. The winner will join the ranks of the biggest Food Network stars such as Giada De Laurentiis, Paula Deen, Rachael Ray, Bobby Flay, Alton John etc, and own their own show on the Food Network.

Aarti's culinary point of view is to infuse Indian flavours into American cuisine. Here are a few videos from her own channel on Youtube.

Gosh, isn't she just so pretty and adorable? I can't help but love her bubbly and cheerful personality. And her clips are absolutely cute, hilarious and informative. You can view the rest of her clips in her Youtube channel called aartipaarti. I just can't stop watching her videos.

Here's one of my fave episodes of Aaarti on the Next Food Network Star. She competed in an Iron Chef challenge where she needs to prepare 3 dishes within 1 hour and all her dishes must be inspired by the secret ingredient which is shrimp. Her dishes were then judged by the Iron Chefs themselves, namely Bobby Flay, Michael Symon, Cat Cora and Morimoto. She received the best, most astounding reviews among the final 4.

You can watch all the Season 6 episodes in Youtube channel somebody7100. Seriously, I couldn't stop watching after I started. Pretty awesome show =)

I'm really looking forward to her upcoming show called Aarti Party in the Food Network channel. Congrats Aarti, you really deserve it! =)

All Grown Up

2010-08-24T08:30:00.059+08:00

In less than 3 months, I would be leaving my 20s and becoming a full-fledged adult. The kid in me will need to share the space. Although I believe that I should always strive to look as good and never let myself go, I also believe that one should age gracefully. Aging is a part of life, it is inevitable. How you choose to do it is entirely your choice. With age comes experience, wisdom and maturity.

I may be a little dramatic and bitch about turning 30 sometimes, but the truth is, I like being where I am now. After all these years, I'm proud to say that I've changed a lot for the better. I'm so different now from the person I used to be back then. I have much better self-esteem. I noticed how much I've matured mentally and emotionally. In our youth, we usually let our emotions get ahead of us, leaving behind our thoughts of logic and reason, since we're basically ruled mostly by hormones and emotions.

I'm glad to say that I've left most of that behind, and I don't miss it. The maturity and increased stability now are priceless to me. My thoughts and emotions are a lot more sound and in sync. I'm a lot less impulsive. My actions are guided more by my thoughts rather than emotions. I'm not saying that life doesn't have its ups and down. I do feel a little moody, melancholy and slightly depressed sometimes, but I deal with it much better and get over it a lot faster now. Some things are just not worth being depressed about =)

I tend to see the bigger picture these days. I'm constantly thinking about the future. Sometimes I really need to pull myself back to enjoy the present. My views on a lot of things in life have changed. I tend to focus on stuff that really matters. My sense of judgement have improved tremendously. I always believe that continuous self development and improvement is crucial. The more you learn, grow and improve, the better you will perceive and feel about yourself. And a better person you will be ultimately. I've done a lot of learning, growing and improving these few years, and I'm happy to say that I'm more well-rounded and confident person.

Sometimes I wonder how did I get here. I just wished I knew what I know now back then. I guess the adult in me has really sprung into action. I just hope he doesn't put the child in me into detention =)

I Love Bulan Puasa

2010-08-17T11:22:00.022+08:00

Yes, I love the fasting month for several reasons.

Ramadhan is the time when you can get the best Malay food out there. And Ramadhan bazaars are indeed the place to be. All the grilled meats, a wide selection of delectable Malay dishes and desserts, and even fusion foods can be found. Usually I'm so spoilt for choice, I don't even know what to get unless I scout the entire bazaar before I can decide. It's like a huge buffet spread that is cheap.

Another reason I love it because the roads are usually clear, especially during weekend afternoons. However, traffic does tend to pick up when evening looms, when our Muslim friends scout for buka puasa food. Heck, I love buka puasa foods too, but I don't puasa lah ><. Even the shopping malls are a lot less congested on weekends, except at night.

I really miss going sahur with my Muslim housemates. I can still remember when I'd be head-shoting people in Counterstrike in a cyber cafe till the wee hours in the morning. Then, going for sahur with my Malay friends to adjacent Malay food shops that would usually open until 5-6 am to cater to the crowd. Ah, great times. Miss them a lot T.T

Lost The Buzz

2010-08-15T00:38:00.012+08:00

Sometimes, I just feel empty. As if something is missing in my life. As if something is wrong. Sometimes I don't quite understand, or don't even bother to. Other times, I question myself on why I'm feeling this way. Although it might be a few reasons, but I think one of 'em is because I felt that my social life has taken a dump for a while. The usual group have been scattered or disconnected. Friends have moved off to other places. Friends having problem with other friends and then disconnect themselves from the group.

I miss the fun times a few years ago, when the usual group of friends were still around. When Momo was still around and we'd go clubbing at least twice every month. When we would religiously come out for drinks every weekend. When we would plan events and just enjoy ourselves. I miss going out and meeting new people. Not that I still don't, but that has toned down CONSIDERABLY. I just miss all those fun times with the group.

I'm beginning to envy those who STILL have a social life. I feel as if mine is left for dead. I know it sounds a little whiny, but it's true. I used to be keen on organizing outings, now I prefer others do it. Is my life really that boring now? Have I lost my buzz? What happened to me? I've lost the enthusiasm. I've lost the drive. I know I'm a lot more tired lately. I didn't used to be like this. Is life taking a toll on me? I suspect so, but it's not an excuse for letting my social wither away.

I need my buzz back =/

Toilet 'Manners'

2010-08-10T13:36:00.025+08:00

One of my GREATEST pet peeves is a freakin' dirty toilet. It's a private place where you need to relieve yourself and it should be CLEAN! Here's a few things I just can't stand.

1. It should be fairly common to walk into a Malaysian public toilet cubicle and be met with a toilet seat painted with dirty SHOE PRINTS! Seriously, LEARN to sit or at least take off your damn shoes if you're still bent on squatting to 'drop the kids off at the pool' or even pee (whatever strikes your fancy)!

2. Excuse me sir, does this urinal look like a rubbish bin to you? If you don't pee in trash cans, stop throwing your cigarette butts in the urinals. You can flush till kingdom come, it's still gonna float in there! Geez...

3. I'm sure you've had that dick installed on you since you were born. Unless it's a new one, you should be able to aim properly at point blank range. I don't care if you're staring down a toilet bowl or urinal, aim for where the hole is, NOT around it! Your pee ain't paint, stop decorating the toilet bowl and floor with it! What? Still can't aim properly you say? Ask the person next to you or a friend to hold it for you while you pee, but 2-3 shakes after that is enough though. Coz you know, any more shakes and well, kittens will die or something...

4. You need to stand close to the urinal when you pee, unless your dong is really that huge. So, stop testing fate and multi-tasking and see if your spit will land in the urinal while you pee. NO ONE wants to stare at a pool of thick, plegmy, sometimes yellowish spittle on top of the urinal when they pee! Go spit in the sink or toilet bowl instead.

5. Unless you're retarded, have no hands or have Alzheimer's, please please oh dear God in heaven please FLUSH after doing your business! I'm tempted to think you don't clean the brown eye afterwards neither. I find it nauseating to see the concentrated pee with crumpled tissues and poop floating in its midst, and worse...SMELLING IT TOO!

6. It scares the bejesus out of me when I see smeared poop on cubicle walls. Either that guy had a weird hobby or didn't have tissue had to use his fingers. Luckily, this is rare.

So, what else did I miss? Care to add any of your toilet pet peeves?

A Very Close Shave

2010-08-03T23:26:00.034+08:00

Yesterday, something almost happened that would have changed my life forever.

It was the early evening after work. I was a slightly groggy but still very much alert. I had just exited the Jelutong expressway via the Pantai Jerejak exit and made a U-turn around the Queensbay roundabout, which was my usual route when coming home from work. Right before I entered a small overhead bridge into Pantai Jerejak, I saw two motorcycles parked on the left, and a group of people with umbrellas near it. As I entered the left lane and passed that scene, what I thought was an accident turned out to be four ladies, each with an umbrella of different color, walking between the parked motorcycles to get through. I was distracted for about 4-5 seconds.

When my eyes shifted to the front again, I was stunned when I saw three men pushing a car up the bridge right in front of me! How did I NOT SEE THEM as I was going up the bridge? I was moving at about 50-60 kph at the time and when I saw them, I was only about 2 cars away. In a fit of utter shock, I knew in a split second I HAD TO slam the brakes. I don't know why or how, but when I lifted my foot from the accelerator to hit the brakes, it got caught UNDERNEATH the brake pedal! My right leg must've shifted a little when I was jolted with shock. It was like something out of Final Destination.

In the brink of panic, I immediately SWERVED my car to the right and NARROWLY avoided the guy pushing on the right. There was no screeching of tires, nor did I even have time to honk, so I doubt they even noticed. What good would honking do anyway? At that speed and distance, when they turned around to even look, it would've been too late. Thank God there weren't any cars or motorists on my right when I swerved. I really didn't have time to even take glimpse at right rear-view mirror to check.

After that REALLY close shave, I was terribly shaken, dumbstruck and in shock. My mind raced over what almost happened and I thanked God OVER AND OVER again for not letting something truly horrible transpire. I couldn't sleep last night. Horrible images of what could have happened kept flooding my mind, triggering fear and anguish. What if I swerved and there were other vehicles or motorist on my right? What if I didn't manage to swerve and hit all three of them straight on without any BRAKES? What if I swerved, hit a vehicle and without a chance to hit the brakes, still slammed into the men? Imagine what would happen if I had crashed into them head-on? All three of them would suffer the brute force of the crash and be crushed between two vehicles, mine and the one they were pushing uphill. I had almost killed three people and they didn't even know it. They wouldn't have even seen it coming. In a split second, ours lives would have taken an ugly twist, something that would've been irreparable and mar our lives forever.

NEVER had I been so grateful to God for watching over me and not letting something as horrific as this happen. I would've been scarred for life if it did.

Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Back To Where She Started

2010-07-30T00:03:00.013+08:00

Yes, this is ANOTHER Charice post. I don't care, I can't help but love her.

3 years ago, she was called all the way from the Philippines to sing in Korea's talent show Star King, which is wrote about here, here and here. That Star King episode propelled her to instant Youtube stardom, and gradually marked the start of her career of an international artist and making her dreams come true. Her vocal and singing talent has thus been compared to ultimate powerhouses such as Whitney, Mariah Carey and Celine Dion.

3 years later, she returns to Star King. This time, as a full-fledged international artist with an album seated in the US Billboard Top 10.

You can't help but want her to succeed. Such incredible talent!~

Eat Da Poo Poo!

2010-07-23T17:51:00.006+08:00

Seriously...

I don't know which is more outrageous. The fact that this 'informed' man might almost be funny enough to do stand-up comedy based on gay jokes, OR that he is SO frighteningly ignorant and biased that it's downright ludicrous. All I know is I just wanna stuff DA POO POO that he is spewing forth back into his own mouth.

And HOW the heck did his 'research' end up with something like eating shit and fisting? The man must be surfing some REALLY nasty porn instead. I don't know whether to laugh, feel ashamed for him and mail him a pitbull to bite off his nuts.

Charice's Audition for Glee

2010-07-20T11:33:00.005+08:00

Charice has joined the cast of Glee and this was her audition.

Seriously, freakin' phenomenal as it should be. Sure gave me some goosebumps =)

I just started on the Glee bandwagon and I'm hooked!

Domesticated

2010-07-19T14:54:00.011+08:00

It's been more than 4 months (3 months and 17 days to be exact) that we've been together. I realized certain things about me have changed since then. For starters, I've gotten over the transition from being single to a relationship mentally and emotionally. You know how it is. You've been single for some time and your system is still geared towards that singlehood lifestyle. It's kinda like jet lag, when your body was still adjusting to the change in time zone. Any free time was usually 'me' time, especially when your single. Your plans revolved only around you and the time spent with your friends or family. Then that special someone suddenly comes into your life and space, leaving a subtle shock to your system.

So, it takes a little getting used to at first. Planning my weekly or daily activities would no longer involve just me, but the both of us. Whatever free time I had, provided zai2 was available as well, had to be taken into account. Whatever I did, I had to take both of us into account. Weekends were no longer reserved just for friends, but private time with zai2. Don't get any nasty ideas, we're grateful just to be able to spend time with each other, not necessarily all about sex ok?

Another thing that really stood out for me was that I no longer felt the need to go clubbing. In fact, I haven't gone clubbing for more than 3 months, since we got together. It's either I don't have that much time, am quite tired to even ponder it or just didn't feel like it at all, or all of the above. Now, I never believed in hooking up during clubbing (except that one time). Oklah if there was an exchange of numbers during clubbing which would progress by getting to know each other better after that. Nevertheless, clubs aren't a place to really hook up for me, more of enjoying music, dancing and spending time with friends. I'd prefer hanging out in lounges or any other place where people can actually talk and socialize.

Ok, I'm diverging from the point. Hmmm...I'm feelin' domesticated ~~or getting old~~.

Just For Your Info...

2010-07-16T13:26:00.015+08:00

If you think you know so much about us, that's just your ignorance talking.

Don't watch this if you don't have the perception to detect not-so-subtle sarcasm...

We do what we do because it's who we are AS A PERSON, NOT because of our sexuality. It's just a small part of us, get that in your head please.

We're people just like you. We go through the same struggles like you do. We need family, money, love, companionship, friends, success and happiness just like you do. And we're each unique as a person, regardless of sexuality.

If you've had a bad experience(s) involving a gay/bi person, don't chop down a tree because of a few bad fruits, figuratively speaking. We already have it rough out there in the world, all we want is understanding. Be a friend, keep an open mind and get to know us better...before you decide to hate or dislike us.

Meat Grinder

2010-07-06T22:24:00.012+08:00

No, this is NOT a title of a porn flick, but a Thai horror movie that was released August last year but never reached our shores.

Now, I love horror movies. And the weird thing about me is that I'm NOT scared of the sights, but rather the sudden, heart-jumping sounds. So, don't laugh when you see me covering my ears instead of my eyes during a scary scene.

However, there are some movies that don't just give you that instant scare. They jolt you deeper within. They are not just tugging, but pulling furiously at your emotional and psychological nerves. They just rape you emotionally and psychologically. Those are the movies that leave your with multiple WTFs when you watch it, and still leave you WTF'ed as you move your shaken legs out of the cinema while nursing your profusely disturbed soul.

This...is one of them.

Seriously, watching the trailer alone was enough to fuck me up slightly. If you think Sweeney Todd was messed up, this freaky lady is going all out solo. I've just begun downloading it.

This gory feast of murder and cannibalism may convert you into a vegetarian. - hollywoodreporter

I wonder if I'll be able eat a bowl of noodles the same way after watching this...

Procrastination Run Amuck

2010-07-05T23:51:00.007+08:00

Seriously, I never thought I'd be away from my bloggie for more than a week, but it's been two weeks! =O

Anyhow, I'm doing fine. Just LOTS of bits and pieces that I'm picking up in my life. I am an occasional procrastinator. I tend to put ~~certain~~ many things off when something else catches my fancy or when I just let loose and laze around. That is until, they accumulate into a gargantuan pile threatening to implode, sucking me into the resulting black hole. All drama aside, don't you agree? Sometimes you put things off for so long, your to-do list expands and the sight of the things you need to do will just make you put them off even longer. You don't go motivated at the sight of it, you shy away further. That is until the pressure spills over and your conscience kicks in, telling you to start paying attention at the happy colony of spiders nestling at the corner of your ceiling, figuratively speaking.

At times, I'm at a loss with myself. It's so soothing to be lulled into a sense of self-indulgence and forget about everything around you. And suddenly, you're smacked across the head with the telephone directory that is your to-do list by the firm, invisible hand that is your conscience, prompting you to start moving your ass and do what needs to be done. Then, your day unbecomingly becomes a hive of activity as your conscience takes the wheel, shifts you into overdrive and clears your list all in one go. It might take several hours, a day or even a whole weekend, but by the end of it, it leaves you feeling incredibly productive. Then, you will settle your ass down again as the list grows like the unwanted weeds in your garden. Sometimes, you don't manage to clear everything and some things will still remain, like that pesky aunt who keeps gossiping non-stop, and won't stop talking and just leave.

Thus, the cycle continues.

Random Update

2010-06-22T13:59:00.011+08:00

Good lord, time really whooshes by. It's been quite a while since I last updated. Guess I've been too busy until I hadn't realized. Haven't thought of much to write, and neither is there anything interesting or inspiring enough for me to write about. Or maybe I just missed it =/

Anyhow, zai2 and I are doing just fine right now. We get to meet less per week, now that both are us are working. He's doing part-time in Switch at Queensbay Mall, and finishes his shift usually pretty late at night during week days. Also, we've been pretty 'dry' for a couple of weeks. Didn't get to have any private time together. I'm not really worried about myself, just about zai2. You know lah, when you're 20, hormones usually hold the reigns to your developing man-brain.

I do my best to fill in the gaps. I call and SMS him daily whenever I can. I plan our outings and when we can meet up. And I do all that since I'm the one with the tighter ~~ass~~ schedule. I can't complain at this point. Things have pretty much settled so I'm thankful for where we are now. Zai2's initial complaints are diminishing. Time is our only problem, and it's not even that serious.

Lovely Poem

2010-06-13T20:46:00.005+08:00

Zai2 wrote a lovely poem in FB and tagged me. I got rather upset with his last post, so we talked about it that day and everything was alright after that. As I suspected, he didn't realize what he was doing and caused some misunderstanding.

I woke up feeling blue,
You text-ed me like you'd always do,
The love of yours did I see through,
As fiery as it is true,

You'd never stopped feeding me,
But I was always ever hungry,
Never once did you get angry,
How selfish of me!

Damn my head keeps singing Alejandro,
It feels like I am about to blow,
As I thought of you I glowed,
It's 5AM now and I feel Drow,

Worry kept etching on my face,
Should be reminded of my pace,
Let us be slow and not a race,
Embrace till the end of our grace.

Be reminded we are just human,
Mistakes will we tend to do,
Treachery, blasphemy and semen,
Be calm, composed and cool.

Zai2 should definitely stick to poems =P

Unique McDonald's Ad

2010-06-10T11:29:00.003+08:00

This aired in France and I believe it's the first gay ad from McDonald's.

It could be that the fast food giant is taking steps to show that they celebrate diversity.

I think it's just cute and endearing =)

Boasting :P Blek...

2010-06-09T05:03:00.003+08:00

There's gonna be two posts which im gonna post. Im not sure if i'll be able to make another one later or not :P

So, why 'boasting'? Let's keep the suspense on for a while we talk about something else kay? Well, Mark is Mark and he's my Mark or so he is for now :P He might not look like Brat Pitt or my Ethan Ruan Jing Tian but nevertheless, he's still my Mark that i'll always mark. *ahem* excuse me for the confusing mark mark thing. I like to twist and go around the bush bwahahahha!!! It makes people feel frustrated cause of the suspense ~~or annoyed by reading a WoT (Wall of Text)~~ :P

True i feel sad when he don't have time for me. During these times, i've been kinda sad cause we just don't have that freaking time! Mind you, i name myself Cronos as to remind me of 'Time' but yet, the irony! Cronos doesn't have 'chronos'. In this period, my feeling started to waver as i am not someone who doesn't have ~~admirers~~ *cough* friends *cough* *cough*. Sorry, i never realized i could have such a terrible cough while writing. Nevertheless, i trust my instinct (yeah, im an animal, so i've instinct and i trust it RAWRRR!!!) and so, i held on. I do realize that after his dad went to hospital, things started to change and i could not get used to it. I longed for him but in the same time, i was scarred cause of something i did which do not turn out to be pleasant and was unexpected.

I dare to say, i no longer loved Mark as how i did during the first month. Things fails and as time goes on, we get to know each other more and more. Even though that i no longer loved Mark like before, i still love him as my beloved and even though there's so many distractions around me, i am still loyal. I still longed for his hug, the warmness of his body touching mine (WITH CLOTHES ON! MIND YOU!!!), his lips and his smell (not odour kind of smell) BUT i do not longed for his lectures especially on FOOD which can goes on and on and on and i'll pretend as if im listening even though i've flew off somewhere else~~~ relatively speaking XD not to mention his kissing! OMG! Let you know an embarrassing secret of his! HIS FRENCH KISSING SUCKS! I told him to be passionate and slow but he was always soooooooooo aggressive... but still, i compromise just like how he compromises with me.

Now, i love him like a part of my own. I do not realize that until recently and why do i say so? I'm someone who's sau ji ngau chut em ngau yap kind of person. Meaning, i treat outsiders better than my own family and i do realize that i treat him that way now. True it's a weird way to show the love i have but that's just how i am. Shawn gorgor too agrees that i am one hecka weird kid T_T Well, i should be ^.^ and not T_T hehe.. that's how i love him now but even I could not be sure how long could i go on with his busyness with the family and work and now me. I do not want to be a burden to him but in the same time, if i do so, then it would be meaningless to be in this relationship (that's from my point of view). True, one might argues that "NO! It's not meaningless cause you can still be there to support what he's doing" yada yada yaddaa but still, i wanted to be loved and feel the love. I want to be reminded that i actually have someone, my other half rather than i have one but i feel none.

It seems that i said and wrote the wrong thing...

Ale-Alejandro!

2010-06-09T00:30:00.006+08:00

FINALLY IT'S OUT! This time she took a darker, more gothic theme, and some the scenes are pretty, explicitly HAWT! Especially the ones on the bed =P

The machine gun bra she's wearing...totally vogue!

It's A Matter Of Time

2010-06-08T10:57:00.009+08:00

Zai2 and I had another two hour long chat in MSN on Sunday nite. We had planned to go the beach that evening. But as it turns out, his dad had to go for medical check-up that night and mum insisted for him to be at the hospital too later that night. He was upset because we didn't have any alone time for almost two weeks. I could still see him a few times a week, but it's usually with our friends around or when he got off work. For about a month or so now, I didn't have as much time as the first two months when we got together. More than a month ago, dad started having health problems so I had to take up additional family responsibilies and I had also started working on a part-time business to secure my financial future. Coupled with the fact that zai2 also began working part-time in Switch at Queensbay, our schedule clashed even more. This is not including any unforeseen circumstances like out-of-the-blue family issues or requests.

Although he is gradually growing to accept that I would not have more time for him as when we first got together, the lack of private time was always at the back of him mind. He understands that a lot of my time is devoted to things that I needed to do, but he's still young and emotional after all.

Zai2 said that he would have to work this whole week until Sunday due to an event at Switch. He usually works from 4:30pm till 10:30pm, so we wouldn't have any time together and the event would require him to work even longer hours this week. Yes, I could understand why he was so visibly upset. He really had high hopes that we'd be together, strolling by the beach on Sunday night, but it came crashing down like the heavy rain when I dropped him off at Island Hospital later that night.

So, I didn't attend the meeting that I was supposed to on Monday night. That night would just be for him. At least I made him happier. At least he got the Pooh hug, among other things. Sometimes, it feels like I still needed to get used to the fact that I'm no longer single and have another to take care of. Sometimes I still feel inadequate that I can't fulfill some of his wishes, but I'll keep trying.

Life is pretty demanding for me right now, and I'm still in process of adapting...

Never Give Up

2010-05-30T13:58:00.012+08:00

I love this =)

So, you think YOU had problems. Whatever you do, never give up on yourself...because God won't neither.

"There is no point being perfect on the outside, when you're broken on the inside" - Nick Vujicic

The Third Time

2010-05-25T15:20:00.042+08:00

I just returned from a business leadership seminar in KL on Sunday evening. I was halfway cleaning my room and zai2 showed up. He wanted to just see me a little while since he was nearby. We ended up talking for almost an hour. Just as he was about to leave at around 11pm, mum rapped on my window. When I opened, she gestured that she wanted to talk to me. I was really tired, hadn't even showered after I came back and was in the midst of cleaning my room. But, something in her eyes suggested that something was wrong.

After zai2 left, I went outside to see her. I could see a distressed face. Something was deeply troubling her. Instinctly, I don't know how, but I knew what it was about. As she raised her sullen eyes and look at me with a pale face, she uttered a queston that hit my suspicions in the bullseye.

"Mark, are you gay?"

It has been about 2 years since that question has surfaced. I asked her why she asked such a question. She cautioned me not to get angry as she explained. While I was in KL for the weekend, dad decided to take a nap in my room, since it had an air-cond. My room was always locked but I kept a spare key which was accessible to both dad and sis. Long story short, he accidentally found a DVD that I was holding for a friend. From the illustrations, there was no need to explain what it was about. I don't know how, but he also found my lube (for personal use) and some condoms I had, which were handouts from AIDS awareness program by volunteers. He had just told mum everything right before the confrontation.

I told her to come into my flat and sat her down. She was distraught. She asked the question over and over again. She began to blame herself again. I had never intended to come out to her a third time. The last episode scared me enough to never raise it anymore. Although this was very unexpected and should be a shock, I was in control. I was calm and composed. My mind was clear. I guess I have grown a lot in 2 years.

As we sat together, I wanted to make sure why she had asked. I knew she was in denial but still suspicious. Deep down, it seems as if she wanted to affirm her suspicions after so long. She began again to mention what they had done wrong. I pulled myself close in front of her and held both her hands, looked into her eyes and assured her repeatedly that none of this was her fault. That there was nothing wrong with me. That I was mentally, emotionally and physically healthy. That I was not abnormal or imcomplete but just different. Just different from the masses around her. She said that she was so heart-broken and I might not have my own family and I might end up all alone when I'm old. I told her that I understood how she felt, that no parent would be glad if they found out about their child.

She asked why hadn't I told her directly. I got up and went to close the front door. I sat down and held her hands again. I asked her if she remembered the last time I told her. I told her how crushed I was for the few weeks after that. I told her how I had to drive out of office, park in an alley outside and sob uncontrollably in my car over what had happened. I told her how painful it had been for me to see her blame herself and everything around her, refusing to see me as I am. I told her how I felt when I told her my innermost secret and truth, and she refused to believe me. I told her that the denial was the underlying reason why the gap between us widened over the years. She didn't disagree, because she noticed the gap as well. I used to tell her almost everything about myself, nowadays I would tell her nothing. I told her that I was afraid to get close, because I didn't want her to pry. I told her how afraid I was to confront her for fear of rejection. I told her no matter what, I would always be her son.

As I told her all these things, I wept. I cried as I held her hands. And as I cried, she wiped away my tears, finally listening to what I was saying. Finally seeing how tortured I had felt. Finally, a part of her was inclined to try and understand. After I had told her all these things, she didn't deny nor push away my admission. For the first time, she was actually thinking about it. She told me that no matter what, I would always be her son and she would never reject or throw me out. But, she still needs time to absorb or understand and perhaps tolerate it. She told me that perhaps I should enhance my circle of friends and be more open. She said that I should not try to filter or put a barrier of who I am when I meet new people. I told her I'm as open as can be, and have no trouble befriending anyone. She insisted calmly that perhaps I should give myself more chances at a normal relationship, and not to rule anything out. I told her I'd give it a try if that chance ever came.

She still hopes that I might have a family one day. I don't abhor the idea of having my own family actually. In fact, I would love it. I told her only time will tell if this would happen. But for now, I hope that we can try to heal the wounds and see what happens from here.

I don't know how she will re-act or change in the coming days. I don't know if we can grow to become close again. She might either progress to gradually understand or regress into denial. Only time will tell.

At least this time she was more willing to see my point of view. At least this time she actually listened. The third time was much better. I didn't feel stressed or lose sleep afterwards. I still felt calm and collected. I guess the ball is not in my court now. I've done all that I can.

Being Fat is Now Illegal...

2010-05-25T12:15:00.005+08:00

...in Japan. Yes, I kid you not.

I applaud this effort to make the country change its ways for better health and making the right choices when it comes to food. It might be a little drastic and might need a bit of tweaking in future, but overall its better than doing nothing at all.

PS: That's why I love Jap food. So much healthier too =)

Manorexia

2010-05-20T10:14:00.060+08:00

I didn't realize this term existed until I saw a video posted in FB. And NO, manorexia does NOT mean depriving yourself of men. Read on...

Anorexia nervosa means refusing to eat, an eating disorder that is fueled by a distorted body image of thinking that one is fat, no matter how thin, frail and emaciated one gets.

Bulimia nervosa is an eating disorder with recurrent binge eating, followed by compensatory behaviors. The most common form is defensive vomiting (sometimes called purging), fasting, the use of laxatives, enemas, diuretics, and over exercising are also common.

Manorexia simply means anorexia that is suffered by men, and was initially thought to be affecting almost exclusively women. In fact, a Harvard study shows that men account for 25 percent of anorexics and bulimics.

This is video I saw in FB:

Another video featuring the same person.

An episode of The Early Show on CBS on Manorexia.

My own experience and thoughts

I suffered a milder form of eating disorder more than 5 years ago. I was fat and decided to get thinner. While it was great that I finally decided to make a change, a lot of what I did was wrong. When I started out, I only at 2 very small meals a day, but luckily had the common sense to include a lot of fruits daily. As the weight began to go, I was able to take up exercise but my 'diet' was still meager. I wasn't aware that I had picked up on an eating disorder. The more I motivated I was, the more drastically I dieted. Coupled with more exercise, it began to take a toll on me. My body was reaching a point where it gave me constant cravings for foods, since I had deprived myself so much and would give in to the caloric demands of my body. I was basically under-feeding and over-exercising.

Then, I learned about 'cheat days', which would psychologically help me to stay on track and keep my sanity in check. Cheat days was basically planned days (usually once a week) when I could eat anything I wanted and this would serve to give me a metabolic boost since I had been on low calories the whole week. Depending on the source of advice you receive, a cheat meal could last a whole day or only one meal on that day.

However, I took this overboard and cheat days became a day when I gave in to all my cravings. Instead of eating whatever I wanted to sensibly, it became a binge day. I stuffed my face with everything I could get my hands on. My stomach told me I was filled to the brim, but my mouth couldn't stop eating. It was scary sometimes because I felt that I was losing control of myself. I would become either so bloated or sick by the end of the day. And this cycle would repeat itself week after week. It was not only abusive to my body, but put my progress to a halt. At some points, I was even going backwards.

Gradually, I began to realize that I was stuck in the vicious cycle of severe dieting and binging and this was the root of my problem. I made a change in my mindset and re-educated myself on how to change and live a fit and healthy lifestyle. I realized the importance of healthy eating and moderation, instead of relying dieting and deprivation. Although I make a conscious habit out of choosing the right foods 80% of the time, I do reward myself. I no longer subscribe to cheat days/meals, but instead get right back on track after indulging myself instead, which I find much easier to do.

Food fuels not only our bodies, but our souls as well. Some of the fondest memories we have usually revolve around food, either having your favorite foods for the first time, eating with loved ones or in favorite places, eating during special occasions/celebrations etc. If we place TOO much emphasis on what we eat until it becomes so stressful, we risk developing an eating disorder and becoming paranoid about food. While it is good to practice HEALTHY eating habits, it is imperative that we remain vigilant so that we do not to cross the line.

Having the perfect body not only affects women but men as well. As much as women desire the lean and toned body of every female celebrity or model, the same goes for men who want a muscular, lean and ripped body. The media plays a HUGE role by displaying a lot of models/celebs with perfect physiques in magazines, ads, internet etc. While it is admirable that they have achieved such an amazing physical condition and should be a role model, it can be a double-edged sword. It could cause an individual to develop a false perception of the ideal body image and think that they are inadequate and deeply flawed physically. This can have an negative impact on one's self-esteem and create an unhealthy obsession to make themselves perfect.

Don't get me wrong, having a drive and determination to improve your health and physical state is ALWAYS a good thing. In fact, that is what I constantly strive for. But, it becomes a problem when dedication evolves into an obsession, which is separated by a thin line. AND, this could also be a matter of perception. A dedicated person can be seen by others as obsessed. An obsessed person might see himself as extremely dedicated and not caring what others think.

So where do we draw the line? From my experience, it is best to stop on your tracks every now and then to evaluate what you're doing and how you're feeling. If you're constantly dieting, exercising too hard, feeling like crap all the time OR experiencing all three, then it's time to take a step back and listen to your body. Eat more, exercise less, get more rest and give your body a break. You won't get any results if you're constantly depriving your body of food and beating it to a pulp during every workout. Give yourself a break psychologically by treating yourself to your favorite foods too.

A healthy body is one that is sound in all aspects: physically, emotionally and mentally.

You don't get fit to get healthy, but you get healthy to get fit. Health ALWAYS comes first, then everything else will fall into place =)

PS: This is not based on any studies, but from my own experience and what I've observed.

A Creature Of The Night

2010-05-19T10:07:00.028+08:00

I've been a nocturnal creature most of my life. I'm usually most active at night and like to stay up late. As much as I try to sleep early, I'd feel as if I'd be wasting the night. I guess this habit spawned when I turned a teenager. Staying up late on the PC playing games ~~and watching porn~~ or watching TV. In college, it evolved even more due to late night CS matches at cybercafes, last minute cramming for exams which usually ends up with supper afterwards and/or just generally friends calling randomly close to midnight for yumcha (GOD, I miss those days so much T.T).

Even today, I struggle with that habit. At some periods, it can get really bad. I guess I do it most during weekends, sometimes hitting the sack at around 4-5 AM or even later (or is it earlier?). Occasionally, I'd be able to hear people preparing their stalls downstairs to get ready for the morning market ><. As a result, I usually miss half the day, with mornings usually out of the question for any weekend plans. Of course, weekends are also the time I try to alleviate my sleep debt but sometimes it's just an excuse coz I was stay awake at ungodly hours.

Lately, this habit has seeped into weekdays. Not as bad as the weekends but on some work days, I'd only get 5-6 hours of sleep, which is a no-no. Coupled with added stress from work, exercise and a busier lifestyle, this is an even bigger NO-NO. Being tired and sleepy all the time isn't healthy or normal. It disrupts my schedule, gives me undesirable mood swings, adversely affect my physical well-being, kills my daily motivation, makes my thoughts go in disarray and clouds my judgement. Occasionally when I have time for myself at home, I'm usually so beat that I want to do nothing else but laze around.

Sometimes, life feels like a huge mess and I have to constantly re-adjust my course to avoid accidentally plunging into a ravine or driving into a herd of stampeding cows, figuratively speaking. It's ironically amusing how something as simple as lack of sleep can take hold of the wheel and drive like a drunk driver on drugs. My biological clock is overdue for some fine tuning, and the mechanic would be my bed.

I need a wake diet T.T

First Fight

2010-05-17T10:21:00.013+08:00

Wah, this is the longest I've gone without updating. Been quite occupied until I forgot ><

Zai2 and I had our first 'fight' last week. Two Sundays ago, zai2 decided to pay me a surprise visit...in THE MORNING. I actually had everything planned out on that day (Mother's day) and it was gonna be a whole day event. Zai2 decided to drop by an hour earlier than the time I was supposed to wake up, with hopes of me waking up promptly to have breakfast and spend a little time with him. But, my tiredness got the better of me and I ended up continuing my sleep after I let him in.

As a result, he waited for an hour and left after that. I sensed that something was amiss coz he wasn't himself when he was leaving and he ended up ignoring me the rest of the day. My suspicions were confirmed when we ended with a spat over MSN that night. He was really mad that he came all the way and felt ignored after that. It was a nice gesture to surprise me, but it was just the wrong timing. I always need to catch up on sleep, ESPECIALLY on weekend mornings. Showing up too early was just a no-no for me. Heck, I usually NEVER plan anything before noon on weekends, except going to church. We managed to discuss things out and he mentioned his concerns about our available time together. He feels that I'm so near and yet so far. It's true that between work, gym and part-time project, my time is pretty much limited each week. Sometimes I'm just too tired and need some available time to rest, it's not that I don't want to see him.

But, it's all good. We managed to talk our way through it and he was himself again the next day. I promised to allocate more time especially on weekends for some 'us' time. Oh yeah, it's already two and a half months since we've gotten together. Usually, the trial period (at least for me) for a new relationship goes about 3-6 months, depending on how well we go together. I still have some doubts that I wanna talk over with him though.

Wish us luck.

Back Online and Fishing Ah Bengs

2010-05-07T10:14:00.012+08:00

The POOH IS BACK ONLINE! W00t, line is really fast now that I've gotten a new modem. Didn't get a fancy wireless one with multiple ports or router support though, just a normal LAN broadband D-Link modem for RM 68.

Going to the Jelutong night market tonite to contribute to the massive crowds and scout for yummy tummy treats, which are aplenty there. Someone posted these funny (some kinda true) tips, so I decided to ~~plagiarize~~ re-post it here XD

5 Top Tips for Nabbing That Hawt Night Market Ah Beng:

1. Your hair can *never* be blond enough. Even then, there's *always* room for some electric blue or toxic green highlights.

2. A funky hairstyle is a must if you want to get into that Ah Beng's budget Hush Puppies underwear. Try a little gel as the base, followed by copious amounts of styling clay to emulate your favourite anime character. Finish by fixing it with 15 seconds of hairspray, or until an ozone hole appears above your head. God forbid a stray hair should go out of place as you're giving head!

3. There's a lot of people at night markets, so you need to make yourself stand out with some bling. This may include piercings of every imaginable nature - but don't go overboard! Ah Bengs are not punks and will still be scared off by that spike sticking through your nostrils. If you're not the piercing kind, you can still accessorize with lots of cheap looking flashy jewelery - the night market you're at should have plenty on offer!

4. No matter your age, make sure you wear something that only 15 year old boys with a warped sense of fashion will wear. This can range from fake Adidas (spelt 'Adidos') sneakers, jeans with a dazzling array of silver studs (bling!), and the good old neon-coloured singlet. Again - don't fret if you don't have these. They can be easily bought at the night market you're at.

5. If you understood everything above, that means your English literacy is better than the Ah Beng you're eyeing. Don't use the Queen's English as he'll just stare at you clueless. You should fake bad Manglish to impress him, in addition to Hokkien or Mandarin. DVD sellers will know Cantonese too, usually.

With that, good luck and have fun!~

Progress!

2010-05-06T15:02:00.009+08:00

FINALLY, some progress on my broadband that I've been bitching about. The technician came this morning. Checked and troubleshooted everything, according to dad since I was at work, and concluded that the modem has gone KAPUT. FINE! At least I know what the hell was going on. I kinda suspected it already, but wanted confirmation to avoid wasting money on the account of possible bad judgement. Gonna get a new one after work today and pray that I will once again be a denizen of cyberspace. I miss killing people virtually as well =P

On another note, zai2 has been kinda sad lately coz I couldn't spend as much time with him as when we first started. Between dad having health problems, me taking charge of more responsibility and tasks for the family, and running a part-time project, my time is pretty much scarce, except for the weekends. Constant schedule clashes between us made it even more difficult. So, both of us pretty much have to plan each week carefully to find time for each other.

I heard about zai2 not being happy about the lack of 'us' time from a close friend. It didn't come as a surprise at all. I didn't want zai2 to be sad or feel left out. So, I picked up zai2 on Tuesday after work and spent the whole evening with him. Just some much needed private time for the both of us. I could see as he gradually lit up and became his usual self again. I'm glad that the Pooh charms were still working.

I told him that he needs to tell me anything that was bothering him, moreso if it's about us. I don't want to be left in the dark if there was something wrong. Although this time it was obvious, I still wanted to hear it from him, not someone else.

He said me that when I'm around, he can't talk or think that much. Coz I'm the only thing that he can focus on at the time =P

It's Dead...

2010-05-04T10:32:00.021+08:00

HUUUAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!~

Just in my last post I was bitchin' about how slow our supposedly no.1 broadband connection was. Last Friday, it DIED ON ME! So, I've BEEN WITHOUT INTERNET FOR 4 DAYS AND COUNTING! Even now, I'm blogging and accessing FB from work!~

Ok...deep breaths, deep breaths. I need to calm down to prevent myself from violently imploding in a bout of internetless (is that a real word? I DON'T CARE!) frustration. Yes, LOTS of drama here but I HAVE NO INTERNET! That's like...80% of my life gone!~

It's sad, but true. It's my drug. In fact, I think I've been experiencing withdrawal symptoms. I'm missing out on my daily web-surfing, Youtube and FB action!~

So far, I've made 2 reports to Streamyx, one for the SLOW and DEAD connection respectively in the order that they occured. On the slow connection issue, even after numerous troubleshooting, it's still crappy. They called again a couple of days after, saying their tech 'fixed' something on their side and ask me to re-verify and they'll follow-up, but they didn't. Anyhow, it was stil crappy after the 'fix'.

THEN, the connection DIED on me on Friday. I watched in distress as the DSL light conked out on my Aztech modem, never again coming back, no matter how many PC or modem restarts I did. Or even after connecting directly to the phone line, bypassing the splitter.

And I think as a SUPPOSEDLY no.1 telecommunications company, TM is doing a POOR job in communications within. After I made the report on the DEAD connection, the TS person still called me during the weekend to ASK IF MY SLOW CONNECTION ISSUE HAS BEEN FIXED, WHEN THE TECHNICIAN HASN'T EVEN COME TO FIX THE DEAD CONNECTION? Wah lau, talk about inefficient re-dundancies! Yes, come rub salt, then splash honey and release fire ants on my bleeding wounds, why don't you? Talk about adding insult to injury. The insufferable bastard might be giggling like stoned schoolgirl after hanging up that call *sarcasm alert*

TS supposedly remarked in my report to have a technician come to my place on Monday, since it was a replacement holiday for me and I'm not available the rest of the weekday afternoons. So I called on Monday to verify WHEN he would be arriving as I needed to take dad to the hospital to get some meds. The person who attended to me was just BLUR or a plain newbie and reading from a script. She said that the system was down and she can't do anything to help me.

What the hell? You're a telecommunications company and your system is DOWN?!?! On top of that, that person kept saying that she can't do anything about my report OR situation. Every time I asked for assistance or some questions, all I heard was can't, can't, CAN'T! Well, there goes my faith in your services, or what was left of it in the first place.

EVEN if you really can't do anything at the moment, at least tell me that you'd look into it as soon as you can. And NOT tell a paying customer who's beyond frustrated that your paid services are operating POORLY and right now NOT even working, that you CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! Seriously, where do these nitwits get their training from?

Did I feel better after writing all this down? In all honestly, it just riled me up more to give them another call and blast a friggin' voice cannon in the ears of the unsuspecting, unfortunate soul whom my call has been routed to. I'll give them another day and see how they would respond to this shit. If I don't get anything, then it's a call to switch broadband services.

Be afraid, be very afraid. A pissed off Pooh is not something you should be messing with!~

PS: What alternative broadband are you using? Can gimme some feedback on the speed, coverage as well as the rates?

Slow Slow SLOW!

2010-04-30T09:40:00.016+08:00

Ish, it's been about 2 weeks now that my freakin' so-called broadband connection is playing 'Lag or No Lag' with me. Internet connection performance has been gradually degrading, now to a point that even connecting to MSN is a near impossible. If I were to play WOW, I'd get severe lag spikes, soaring latency and frequent disconnections, almost enough to give me a stress-induced coma. For the past week, I've been de-motivated to even play WOW.

Browsing the net has slowed to a crawl. Waiting for browsers to complete loading is a pain. I've just called Streamyx 2 days ago to report this problem. I thought initially that this was due to some faulty line near the Middle East, according to the announcement before I got connected to their TS. However, after checking my address, the person attending to me said that my area was completely fine. In fact, speed test on the net shows that I'm getting a download speed of 1.5-1.7 Mbps, more than the speed in my package. For some reason, the upload test couldn't commence though -_-".

Anyhow, after a series of checks and changes in my internet settings over instructions on the phone, things haven't improved. The report was filed and yesterday, they called and said the tech has 'fixed' something on their side. When I got home, still the same shit going on.

I've re-started the modem and PC many times and tried reconnecting countless times, to no avail. If nothing was wrong on their end, it would either be a problem with the physical line, modem or the network port on my 8-year-old PC. It might even be my PC's declining performace (she's about to die I think). Yes, she's also joining into the fray of the lagging business lately. It doesn't matter since I'm planning to finally get a new one by next week hopefully.

I'm just gonna keep complaining until they send a tech over to take a look. Crippling the net is like taking air out of my lungs T.T

~~Seriously, it gets me so frustrated I feel like kicking a puppy.~~

Kidding XD

Or...am I?

*drama*

Life Has Been Tiring

2010-04-23T10:24:00.022+08:00

It's been a rough couple of weeks. So many things going on and I'm amassing significant sleep debt. Dad's high blood pressure was acting up. In fact, he was just discharged from the hospital a few weeks ago after staying for a few days. For about 2 weeks now, he's been under some anti-biotics which makes him weak and sllightly dizzy. Hence, he's not encouraged to drive, which is bad news. Sis isn't car-pooling with anyone to college and dad was the only one who drove her to college and mum would bring her back after work. Now, I have to drive her to college near town and turn all the way back and go to work in mainland, which means I'd have to wake up at least an hour earlier on week days. I had to seriously adjust my sleep schedule but I think I need to throw in another hour. Although sis has gotten her driving license, she still has A LOT to work on. I have to coach her every weekend coz she prefers me, instead of dad who constantly scolds her.

I've started a couple more projects this week and lately have more after-work activities until pretty late at nite. A lot of other tasks and errands pop-up at the last minute too, keeping me very busy from the time I wake up until my head hits the pillow. I barely have time for zaizai and when I do, I'm pretty much beat. Zaizai had to put up with my 'mang zhang'-ness when we get to meet up.

Gym performance has suffered, I've even had to skip planned workouts coz I was too tired. FML!

I feel like I'm in a daze every day these couple of weeks, being in blur mode most of the time. I feel as if my thinking capacity and short term memory have reduced, and I've become very absent-minded. Just the other day, I tried wearing my shirt as my pants -_-".

I'm feeling more de-motivated, fatigued, withdrawn and cranky. It feels like all I wanna do is sleep. I barely have time for myself too. And when I do, I don't feel like doing much except park my ass in my room to rest. The slightest task felt like a chore, even blogging ><.

Damn...I hope this blows over soon and normal life resumes. I'm miss my clear head and having energy again. Sorry guys for the slow updates this month.

So Far, So Good

2010-04-18T16:56:00.018+08:00

It's been a busy week, hence the lack of updates.

Times flies. It's already a month and a half since we both got together. Nothing much has changed, we're still all over each other, although we get to meet only 2-3 times a week. I feel very comfortable when I'm around him. There's no need to constantly try to please him or be worried that I might anger him. We can be ourselves all the time. He's usually the childish, adventurous and cheeky one, while I compliment him with a matured, firmer demeanor (orang tua like that one). He can be exceedingly curious and do or say something weird, which would usually warrant a 'look' from me. We can talk about anything and everything, and that's very important to me. Someone that I can't talk to will definitely spell the early end of the relationship. It also really helps that he is pretty good-natured, making him more pleasant to be around.

His manja-ness can make the air molasses-thick with sweetness. His constant cute smiles and perky laughs make each second spent worthwhile. His shyness can be beyond adorable, so much so that I like to purposely make him feel shy in public sometimes. It's endearing when he tries to hide behind me =)

To him, I'm both his love and his mentor, someone who can teach me the ropes in life. To me, he's the chamber in my heart that I retreat to when I need to feel warmth that translates into a silly grin on my face. So far, we're doing pretty well. I don't feel bogged down nor shackled when I'm with him. At the moment, he's like a piece of puzzle that fits perfectly. We compliment each other in more ways than one.

I know that he loves and adores me so much. To the point that I'm afraid that I might hurt him, even accidentally. Our future is incomprehensible, so I don't wanna predict where this will go. I just like where we are right now.

Hehe, I'm going out on a limb here by saying that he CAN be such a little devil (go ask him why). So that leaves me to be the angel to maintain order XD

Love you zaizai =)

Unusual Sights

2010-04-11T22:26:00.013+08:00

Today, I saw 2 things that you definitely DON'T see every day.

The first occurred while I was driving to church this morning. We weren't moving as the traffic lights were still red way in front. As we begun to move, a few cars in front of us, I kid you not, suddenly came a small herd of stampeding juvenile COWS (they looked rather young and small) out of nowhere from a junction! The beasts literally stormed across the road. Most of 'em managed very clumsily to avoid the on-coming vehicles left and right. Sadly, one of them slammed forcefully head-on onto the left side of an unlucky Kembara, just a couple of cars ahead of us. The impact shifted it sideways and the front windshield was almost smashed. I could see from behind that it was badly cracked, and the front left side of the car was badly dented. I don't know who were most shocked at the time. The people watching it happen, the mother and daughter inside the Kembara, or the cows that came rushing out suddenly into a very busy road. Oh, and behind the cows was either small horse or pony (are they the same thing?), following suit in the stampede, which was more peculiar. Seriously, this was really dangerous. If a small cow could do that to a car, imagine how gruesome it would be if it was someone on a motorcycle. Mum was both shocked and in awe by what we saw, but she didn't notice the cow slamming into the car, coz she was busy counting the number of cows...WTH -_-"

After church, we head for lunch at some kopitiam in Island Glades. Before we left, I had to pee and I think the uncle that went in to the male toilet needed to take a crap. Took damn long leh. So, I had to go into the ladies, which was right beside it. It could only occupy one anyways, so I wasn't risking any sudden screams from the opposite sex. When I stood over the squatting toilet, I was met with a strong gush of wind from above. I looked up and LO AND BEHOLD, there was a mounted electric fan, strongly blowing directly at anyone wanting to use the toilet. And this was in a single person toilet! This is just as peculiar as the air-cond in the gents @ Coffee Island in Penang, which blew cold air to the patrons in the face while they relieved themselves at the urinals. Peeing and pooping very hot hor?

Blocked!

2010-04-06T21:47:00.013+08:00

Having a damn blogger's block again. It's been a few days and I have no idea what to post. So, lemme continue with my Korean song phase, which WO would be very happy with.

I ALWAYS love a well choreographed, synchronized dance show/video. So, which one didja like? XD

Stuck In My Head!

2010-03-29T16:28:00.026+08:00

I want nobadeh, nobadeh but joo! I want nobadeh, nobadeh but joo!

Damn, got this song stuck in my head. Maybe it's the cute and catchy lyrics. Or the adorable yet sexy dance routine by the girls that has been copied and re-done to death by everyone (girls AND boys) on the net. I gotta admit, the dance moves are really quite catchy...

Original Korean version:

Debut US English version:

They do it really well, don't you think? Very fluid and synchronized. Man, they can really sway those hips =P

Must...resist...urge.....to....dance...arrrgghhh!

Earth Hour 2010

2010-03-26T16:53:00.008+08:00

Earth Hour 2010 is scheduled on March 27, 2010 from 8:30 to 9:30 pm.

During Earth Hour, hundreds of millions of people around the world will come together to call for action on climate change by doing something quite simple; turning off their lights for one hour.

Earth Hour 2010 will continue to be a global call to action to every individual, every business and every community. A call to stand up, to show leadership and be responsible for our future. Let's do it to prove that we care for something more than ourselves!

I'll be doing it, will you?

With The Blang and Besties in KL

2010-03-22T00:33:00.035+08:00

Just got back from KL again. I arrived on Friday night just for a short trip. The main agenda attending a friend's birthday party @ Bangsar on Sat nite. I promised her I would come for her birthday party since January. Heck, I really can't back out anymore when I clicked 'Attending' on the event invitation page in Facebook! This time, I stayed with my bestie Joe and his BF in Puchong. It's been a while since I stayed with Joe, felt nice coz I rarely get to see him these days =)

Also, I decided to meet up with the blang (blogging gang) again. So, messages were sent to respective bloggers via FB and William was appointed as my unofficial planner, and it was done. Sat kicked off at 12pm with a dim sum lunch @ Yuen Garden with William, Bear, Pikey, SK, Ichi, Joe and Joe's BF. I was rather surprised to learn the Ichi didn't mind pork. Too bad Nicky couldn't make it, so Ichi was the only new face there for me. The restaurant was filled with twinky waiters, much to the pleasure of the oogling eyes of Pikey and Ichi XD. Food was rather good and it wasn't expensive.

After lunch, Joe and BF had to make a move to settle some banking stuff and also head to the post office. So, we adjourned to a Pappa Rich nearby for more drinks and snacks. Loads of laughs, merry-making and cock-a-doodle chattery. We had so much fun, that we forgot to camwhore. So, no pics from the gathering ><. It was very warm in Pappa Rich. Too bad, the place looks pleasant but where's the air-cond? Poor Pikey had to sit with the grill and steamer behind him. His back was literally wet with sweat. But, I'm sure Bear gave him a 'bear-back' scrub in the shower after that. The cute Bear was rather rambunctious this time. The first time I met him, either he was ~~pretending to be~~ shy or busy munching on the chicken Pikey was feeding him XD

We were done at 4 pm, an hour after Joe and BF finished their errands and joined us again. Joe found SK to be quite lively and entertaining. If I didn't tell him that she was William bestie, he actually thought they were a couple. A cute couple...awww ^^. Yes, it was really fun seeing you guys again. I'll holler next time I'm in KL again =)

At night, it was time to partay. Joe was gracious enough to drive me there. With the help of GPS (thank God!), we managed to locate the Bayu Angkasa condo @ Bangsar. The condo was nicely spacious and posh. Kinda jealous, when am I gonna own such a posh abode like that? T.T

Lots of good friends, new faces and great food at the party. Yes, there were lots of booze as well but the Pooh doesn't really drink. Well, maybe only a little that night =)

Me and the gorgeous birthday girl Sonia. See? This is why I hate taking upclose pics of myself. Fugly T.T

Just chillin'.

And having fun =)

Our pimptress mama-san Vivien in the middle XD

2 of my favorite ladies =)

Family portrait ^^. That's not even half the people there that night. Poor couch though =P

Almost Got Snatched!

2010-03-18T10:30:00.025+08:00

At around 11 pm last nite, there was a blackout. The whole area went pitch dark instantly as I sat in front of my PC cursing, coz I was about to level up my Rogue in WOW (evolving into a nerd again). Went next door since I didn't know if I had any candles at my place. Shortly after, I borrowed my sister's flashlight and decided to go for a walk downstairs, just around my flat. I figured it was a good idea, since I had nothing to do and my room was rather warm (screw you El Nino!). I might as well get some exercise and fresh air. STUPID decision on my part...

Walking along the main road, I started texting my lo gong zai. Then, it happened. I was busy texting and didn't notice that a motorist approaching fast in front of me. As he whizzed past, he tried to grab my phone, but since it was really dark, that asshole probably missed and slapped it off my hand instead. In the process, he almost slapped me too, hitting me instead on the neck. I was startled, as my phone flew out of my hand and landed on the road. I looked back and cursed the damn bastard. I wasn't scared at the time, but I REALLY had half a mind to chase him down and punch his freakin' face in. But, I had to quickly pick up my phone from the middle of the road before any car ran over it and he was speeding away. Even in the dark, I could quickly make out that it was some skinny dude and for some reason, I was sure that it was an Indian guy. Don't ask me why, I just know it. Luckily for me, my phone is still intact and working fine, although one of the corners is badly scratched.

I eff-ing hate snatch thieves. The stories you read about in the papers and not to mention from those who've experienced it first hand are enough to send anyone fuming. Even mum got her necklace snatched before by an Indian guy on a motorcycle, just in the car park behind my flat! It happened only last year and she only sustained minor gashes on her neck, thank God! People get seriously injured and even die in snatch thief incidences.

I don't eff-ing care how poor or pathetic your life is, but this ain't the way to make it better. Go seek some welfare, you eff-ing losers. Or deserve to have you eff-ing face kicked in when you get caught until you choke on your own blood and DIE!

Stop Callin', Stop Callin'!

2010-03-14T01:59:00.012+08:00

OMFG! LADY GAGA'S LATEST TELEPHONE MTV IS THE FREAKIN' MOTHER-EFFING BOMB! I'M SO EFFING EXCITED THAT I'M POSTING THIS SHIT IN CAPS!

Another superb masterpiece that can ONLY be accomplished by Lady GaGa! Bad Romance was her SICKEST MTV before this, and she eff-ing surpassed it. Heck, she even GaGa-fied Beyonce, making her even more fabulous!

THIS VIDEO SO HAWT, EXPLICIT AND EFF-ING FABULOUS. LOVE THE OUTFITS, LOVE THE SET, LOVE THE DANCE, LOVE THE ECCENTRICITY. EFF-ING FORGET IT, LOVE OF IT ALL!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO H-H-HAWT! IT'S SO GAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

You Made Me

2010-03-11T22:24:00.005+08:00

It's been a very looooooooooong while since I've the feeling to write a poem and when I do, I know that this bear trap is no longer bearable.

You Made Me

I feel like I am in a dream,

A dream within a dream,

Heavens so it seem,

With the beautiful sunlight beam.

I could no longer wake up,

Smitten in this world of fantasy,

Full of passion, love and mercy,

Oh, I just love you Mark.

Diabetes to the others shall it be,

Sweet is what it will be for me,

I cant believe I've found thee,

How lucky it is for me.

Marky,

You filled me with obsession,

On the very first day of your impression,

I no longer feel any depression,

I want to be your possession.

You made me bright with happiness,

You made me cry like a child,

You made me feel complete,

Like I never felt before.

You made me laugh with cheerfulness,

You made me go wild, ~~(you know when :P)~~

Marky,

You made me love you so deep,

Never so I adore.

You made me,

Marky.

Cronos Renzokuzen Chaos

Copyrighted

The Day I Stopped Loving Myself

2010-03-11T11:44:00.048+08:00

Warning: This is a LONG post.

This is a blog entry by a fellow blogger who bravely revealed one of the darkest episodes of his life. I felt that it was deeply moving and really wanted to re-post it here to share with all of you.

The night was still. It was quiet except for the sound of my own breathing. The rope was around my neck. I let it caress my neck and it tightened into a loop. I wanted to die by asphyxiation, suffocating myself to death. They say right before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. It is true. At the age of seventeen, my whole life flashed before my eyes. It wasn’t my entire life from childhood to present but the thing that mattered most to me. I guess I never knew how important that matter was in my young mind until that very day. Right before I tried to kill myself, images of my family started flashing in my mind. And I felt this deep, intense love inside my heart. A love that was stronger than the desire to end my life at that very moment. I thought of my family, especially my mother, the one I was closest to. I couldn’t let go of them even though I had decided to let go of my own life. There was this heaviness in my heart, making me not wanting to leave them. I thought I wanted to leave this world behind. But I didn’t want to leave them behind. I couldn’t.

I took my head out of the loop and started gasping for air. Then I burst into tears. I never cried so hard in my life. I cried until my nose become blocked and started to run with secretions. I cried until I couldn’t see from all the tears. I cried till there was a puddle of water on the pillow. I stifled my cries with the pillow so my sleeping family members would not hear. I cried until exhaustion kicked in and fell into sleep.

I woke up to the bright morning sun the next day. Like the rays of sunshine penetrating my room, I felt that my life has changed and I wanted to start anew. I pretended nothing was wrong. I thought my eyes were puffy but I didn’t think my parents noticed. I haven’t eaten for days and my parents were just glad I was going to the kitchen for some breakfast. I had been depressed for months but the past few days have been the lowest point in my life, before spiraling into the night of my suicidal attempt. I became as dark as the December storm, unlike my usual sunny self.

Last night, after my suicide attempt, I realized that there was more to life. I need to be more responsible to myself and the people around me. Dying will not solve the problem. Most importantly, I love my father, mother, brother and sister too much to leave them. I finished my breakfast alone, quietly. I was starving, from my many days of self-imposed ‘fasting’.

I heard a sound as I went upstairs to my bedroom. I started running to my room as fast as I can. “No, NO, NO,” I screamed inside my head as thoughts went through my mind. I did not lock the door and someone must have went in and saw something they should not see.

It was mom. She was crying uncontrollably. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Her eyes were red. She looked at me and asked, “WHY? WHY?”

When I saw her cried, I started crying too. I felt defeated and just sank to the ground. My knees turned weak. She had searched through my room as I was having breakfast in the kitchen. I should’ve locked the room. I thought I hid everything. How could I be so careless?

She found my suicide notes hidden under the mattress. She just asked why and kept crying. I cried too. I saw the anger in her eyes. I saw the disappointment in her eyes. I saw the sadness in her eyes. I didn’t know what to say. I disappointed her as her favourite child. I was the strongest in her eyes. The brightest one. And yet, now, I felt like I am the most worthless.

I felt helpless as I continued to look at her crying. Seeing your mother cry while discovering your darkest secret will break even the strongest heart. She discovered and read all the little pieces of suicide notes I left for them had I successfully killed myself last night.

Both my mom and I could barely speak as our voices were choked by tears and emotions. Time seemed to stopped and we just stood there crying, and looking at each other. I hugged her and told her I am sorry. Told her that I love her. She hugged me back, still crying, but did not say anything.

Until this day, my mom doesn’t quite know the reason I attempted suicide. She thought I was broken hearted over breaking up with a girl. We never talked about this dark day that happened in our lives. It was something we try to avoid. My suicide attempt occurred during Chinese New Year. For the next few years, Chinese New Year was never the same again. Sometimes, when I am alone with her, she would casually bring this up and ask me what happened that day without specifically pointing to the incident. We both knew which event she was referring to but I always brushed it off and changed the subject. When she sensed a change in emotion, with the air suddenly tensed, she would stop pursuing the matter, and become quiet.

The real reason I wanted to die was because I could not accept my own sexuality. Sometimes, you know about it all your life, since childhood. But at 17, reality suddenly hits and I understand how being different is not a good thing. My mother would never accept me for who I am. Society would not accept people like me. I thought I was a freak. A mistake of God. I was abnormal. I had perverted desires. I had no reason to live on this earth as a freak. I took some time to accept myself. Thanks to the resources from the Internet on sexuality and my ex, whom I eventually found love. I thought I was going to be happy again. Little did I know, accepting my sexuality was only the beginning of a journey. One that would not be easy.

We've all been there. In our younger days, we've been brainwashed by those around us to think that our very existence is an abomination, that of sin incarnate. In our own innocence and ignorance, we've been led to believe that everything about our sexuality is wrong, a perversion frown upon by our Maker, a mental disease that needs to be cure, or whatever narrow-minded, erred perception that society will impose. We've been told that we've made the wrong 'choice' and if we don't change our ways, we're destined for fire and brimstone in the afterlife. We've been told so many things that would break our spirit, spawn self-loathing, and perpetually confuse our minds. All because of ignorant, yet pernicious perceptions imposed by those who think they know it all, making it so difficult to accept ourselves for who we are.

As we progress in life, we face further discrimination for being who we are, either directly or otherwise. We're constantly in fear that people will turn their backs on us when they find out, especially the ones whom we love and cherish the most. Most of the time, we have to put on a social mask just to blend in, depending on the crowd and situation. We face overwhelming pressure to conform to the norms of the sexual majority.

All of us have doubts, insecurities and fear that plague us. At some point in our life, we may be tempted to choose the 'easy' way out. A thought is just a thought unless translated into action. Let it be a fleeting one and never re-visit that thought again. However hard and bleak it may seem, hope never dies. Our lives are a gift, regardless how crappy it is sometimes. We are as God made us, and when the world turns against us, He will always love us. I truly believe that our actions and heart which governs those actions, are the things that MATTER THE MOST. Not your age, the color of your skin, your sexuality etc.

I'm very glad that you didn't become another Bobby. The love you had within saved you, making you take a step back from an untimely end. Death is never the answer.

Too Fast, Too Furious?

2010-03-09T11:26:00.025+08:00

Being in a relationship after only 3 weeks of dating, we both have to admit that it was really fast. Usually I'd take pre-cautions and take more time to assess if I want that someone to be my BF, but lately I've come to the conclusion that it's situational and very dependent on who that person is.

I've been in a few of bad relationships before to smarten up and know that jumping the gun can possibly be as suicidal as attempting to stop a rampaging rhino with your bare hands. All the drama aside, we really like each other and it feels right when we're together. It didn't take much time for me to understand quite a lot about WO. So much so that I don't feel any sense of mistrust towards him. In fact, he can be like an open book sometimes, letting me read him effortlessly =P.

Hehe, WO thinks I'm EVIL coz I understand him that much and know when and how to pamper/manja/pujuk him. I can't help it. That's how I roll. Perhaps sometimes it's just best to go with the flow. At other times, it's better to tread cautiously. In more ways than one, his personality suits me really well and we share quite a few similarities. Like I said, purely situational and individual dependent ^^.

On another note, WO has been reading my blog and getting jealous when he reads about my previous flames. So cute and adorable when he does, coz I get to pujuk him back XD

Wanna cubit him sometimes...XD

23 Random Facts About The Pooh!

2010-03-08T23:53:00.025+08:00

Thanks to Calvin, I was tagged by him to write out 23 random facts about myself. So, I'm just writing anything that comes to my head. This post is LONG overdue, couldn't really think of what to write. But, I managed to get it done, so here it goes:

1. The first place I look at when I stay somewhere, be it a hotel or someone's home, is the bathroom/toilet. It must be both clean and well-equipped. The place where I clean and relieve myself CANNOT be dirty. In other words, I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE dirty toilets and bathrooms.

2. I think I have a bathroom fetish. It can feel incredibly erotic sometimes. I guess it started when I first visited the men's changing/locker room at a local swimming club as a teenager. The place has NO doors and you could see EVERYTHING, ~~macam buffet~~. I hadn't gotten into the water yet and my trunks were already 'wet'. OOPS!

3. I'd rather live in a place with a colder climate than a hot one.

4. If I had all the money in the world, I'd love to sample all the gourmet chocolates, cheeses and coffee that I can get my hands on.

5. I'm addicted to caffeine. Can't go a day without my java.

6. I'm a foodie and fitness enthusiast. I love my food and need to watch my figure. So, both sides wage a war within me when temptations appear. Luckily, the fitness side wins most of the time.

7. Being an engineer was not my choice of profession. My first choice was to be a vet, but there weren't any good local veterinarian education facilities at the time. Couldn't afford to study overseas for it.

8. I still don't have a passport. Out of budget lately. Doesn't mean I'm broke all the time, just means I'm forcing myself to save more for the future ^^.

9. I'm an very emotional person and love/need to express myself. Since I'm kinda artistically retarded, I express myself in words, both written and verbal, instead.

10. I think good communication is absolutely crucial, sexy and turns me on.

11. I still have the bad habit of being late ><.

12. Between a dream house or car, it'll ALWAYS be a house. It's just a more practical decision for me. I don't understand why people would buy a nice car first instead. I wouldn't wanna live in a car if I go broke some day (touch wood). Plus, it's easier to lose a car than a house.

13. I have a small scar on one of my butt cheeks. When I was a kid, while holding the top of their swing that was located right next to the fence (the ones with wires), I swung from my side of the house to theirs. Didn't gauge that one of the pointy poles of the fence was too high and next thing I knew, stitches on my ass.

14. One of my favorite comfort foods of all time is ice-cream. It's my kryptonite T.T

15. I can't stand the taste AND texture of liver. Yucks!

16. I absolutely love fruits. They are like nature's candy and loaded with vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, fiber and water. Plus, they won't make you fat. Well, unless you eat like 30 bananas every day...

17. The gym is like my 2nd home. I can't live without it. If I'm moving to a new place, I need to make sure there's one nearby. Yes, it's that bad.

18. Once, something fell on my neck, crawled into my shirt, went down my pants (outside, thank God) and crawled down to my feet. It was a big fat, full-grown cockroach. The disgusting smelly bastard was freakin' fast. I HATE cockroaches! Not just because they are filthy as hell, but also because they STINK! I simply cannot stand the bitter, acrid smell they emit. If I happen to see one at home, it will not live past the next 5 minutes.

19. I love watching TV programs/shows about the world such as wildlife, nature, cultures, travel and good food. Hence, my favorite channels on Astro are usually National Geographic, Discovery, Travel & Living etc.

20. I always need a blanket and something to hug when I sleep. Lose the blanket if it's hot as hell though.

21. I used to shave my legs. NOT because I'm vain but I had to apply medication for eczema on my legs a couple of years ago, which appears after I take a hot shower and it is really itchy. I can't do that when there's a lot of hair, can I?

22. Most of you may already know this but I'm kinda a traitorous Chinese. I'm a banana (well, mostly), absolute adore the English language (my best language too) and love most things Western. Don't get me wrong, I DON'T hate the Asian culture. I do find them fascinating and they are my heritage after all. Apart from the English language, I'm just drawn to the sophistication, flexibility, openness and more liberal aspect of the Western culture, that's all.

23. I'm an all around nice guy. At least that's what most people tell me. My friends have never really seen me really angry or go around pissing people off before. I always opt for doing the right, sensible thing. I think that I'm so boring sometimes, being so nice all the time. Sometimes, I secretly wish I were a bad boy instead =P

I'm tagging the following people to write 23 random facts about themselves.

1. Bravebear
2. Pikey
3. Cookiedonut
4. Zemien

We're Attached

2010-03-02T10:43:00.024+08:00

It's official, after spending time together for about 3 weeks, we're attached. And why wouldn't we be when we adore each other so much? I dare say that I've never been so smitten, but I suspect WO is more smitten than I am ^^

Wish us luck and lots of love. Ok, scratch the last part. We can handle that one. Mwahahaha!~

Someone said that I'm borderline paedo after seeing WO's profile on FB T.T

So, I'm just gonna clear the air and say that WO is of LEGAL age for any sort 'horizontal tango' in the bedroom ~~or car~~. He's 20 this year.....and I feel OLD just by saying that T.T

I know it shouldn't matter, so I'll just block that out and concentrate on making the both of us happy for as long as I can =)

Looks like throwing those 2 shiploads of oranges into the ocean on Chap Goh Mei (according to Zemien) worked after all. Got attached the day after. Kiong hee kiong hee. LOL, Kidding!~

I love you dear, MUUUUUUUUUUUUUAKS~

Fallen Into You

2010-02-24T14:53:00.031+08:00

For the past week, I've been going out with WO. When Shawn first introduced him to us, I thought of him just being another friend. As usual, got WO's FB from Shawn and then proceeded to get WO's MSN after msging him on FB. Nothing fancy, just adding another friend and I had no ulterior motives (BELIEVE IT!). It was on one fine ~~night~~ early morning at 5am, a couple of days after we met, when suddenly he msged me on MSN. He was surprised we were both still awake. I had just finished WOW-ing and he had just gotten done with Dota. It was that 1 hour of chatting that got me intrigued. Definitely not as innocent as he seems. He's like the 3rd guy I've come across that looks innocent like a budak kampung, but suprises me in MSN.

Anyhow, I expressed interest in going out with him, so he agreed. Our first outing took us about 8 hours. It was on the 2nd day of CNY, after we both got done with our CNY visitations at nite. As I've written in the previous post, we went to several places that night. I sent him home at about 4am, but we both decided to just sit in the car, close to his home and just talk for a couple more hours.

As we continued to talk, his hand came over and held my arm. He began to draw closer, cuddling snuggly. I knew then that I had him...hehe. WO mentioned that he had fallen into my trap. I didn't realize I had set one. Perhaps subconsciously, I had laid the Pooh trap XD

Went out with him again last Friday for dinner @ Daorae Korean BBQ, drinks and some card games along with Shawn and Dennis. It was really sweet during the night, when we'd both sneak hold hands throughout. When it was over, the clock was ticking close to 1 am. Actually, I was pretty tired but WO didn't feel like going home. We ended up back in my place, since we had no idea where to go next. Long story short, more talking and cuddling ensued. Somehow, our clothes also ended on the floor =P. By the time we were done, I sent him home at 5 am.

I've even introduced WO to the rest of the gang last weekend, in a birthday gathering @ Mar Vista apartments. Action speaks louder than words. Everyone kinda knew what was going on. He's kinda shy in groups, but opened up after warming up to everyone.

Although we've only known each other for 2 weeks, we're all over each other. I love the way he likes to cuddle. I love the way he sneaks me a kiss when we're alone briefly. I love the way he holds my hand when no one's watching (except my friends of course). I love the way he hides behind me, smiling sheepishly when he's shy. I find him damn adorable, wanna cubit sometimes. He's bubbly, cheerful, talkative, open-minded and honest. At least that's the impression he has on me right now =)

WO said that he has been caught in the Pooh trap, but I kinda think it might be the other way around. He has captured me in more ways than one.

He makes me think,"Where have you been all my life?". He has successfully launched me to 7th heaven. I've never felt this way before. I really hope this lasts as long as it can. At the moment, we can't seem to get enough of each other, sticking together with such thick, viscuous sweetness.

The Pooh is officially smitten.

PS: Yes, expect more lovey-dovey, overwhelmingly-diabetes-inducing sweetness soon, here and in FB XD