Thursday, April 30, 2009

Almost Another Bobby

I watched Prayers for Bobby again 2 night ago. This time, I really let out the water works. It still amazes me how much of my own life I saw in that movie. In certain ways, my mother is similar to Mary Griffith, although much less authoritarian but nevertheless, just as hard-headed when she thinks what she believes is true or right.

In many ways, I can identify with Bobby Griffith. I think most, if not all, gay people can relate to him. What he experienced before he took his own life is what most of us might have gone through in our early days, or are still going through right now. I remember what it feels like to grow up confused about your feelings towards the same sex. I remember realizing that I was different from everybody else, and that I was gay. I remember the pain and hurt when ignorant people around me kept mocking gay people, and saying that being gay is unnatural, sick, disgusting, immoral and perverted, because they would be talking about me. The worst was when you hear that God doesn't love gay people because we're a sin and an abomination, and will be condemned to hell when we die. All these things really kills your sense of self-worth. I never did anything to hurt anyone. I'm just being myself and for that, I'm going to burn for all eternity. Those days, I really didn't know what to think or believe. I didn't know who to turn to. I didn't care much about church anymore. It killed my relationship with God, as I felt that I was not worthy of His love, or anyone else's. Sometimes I'd get really depressed, and feel out of place. Sometimes, I'd feel so ashamed for being gay.

I remember the fear that I felt when I wanted to come out for the first time to my mother. I remember the utter terror when I saw the look of disbelief and shock in her eyes. I was so scared that she'd reject and stop loving me. She started to blame anything at all to believe that I wasn't gay. I guess I'm lucky she didn't try to 'cure' me, because she didn't want to believe me in the first place. In the end, she just pretended like I never said anything. The second time I came out to her was more than a year ago, and I was a little better prepared for it. This time, she expressed more shock and blamed herself and everything around me even more. And to this day, she chose to ignore what I told her. I can't exactly blame her for doing what she did, as the shock can be overwhelming. The dream for your child to grow up, get married and start a family of their own will be shattered.

When Bobby was rejected by his own mother, I felt his hurt. In a way, my mother had done the exact same thing by choosing to sideline the truth that I had revealed to her. How can you say that you love your child unconditionally, yet reject them because you let yourself be blinded by your beliefs and turn away from them when they tell you that they are different? All Bobby wanted from his mother, as I did, was for her acceptance and her unchanging love. After all, isn't that what unconditional love is? Accepting someone for who they are and loving them no matter what.

When Mary Griffith finally realized the grave error of her own ignorance and stood up to defend the LGBT community, I cried uncontrollably. What she said when she cried in the arms of the pastor and when she spoke publicly to relate her ordeal, was exactly what I wanted my own mother to realize. That there was nothing wrong with me. That I did not choose to become this way. That I'm born just the way God intended. That God loves me for who I am. That all I wanted was for her to love me just the way I am. That too much ignorance and intolerance of the word gay can be very hurtful, especially when it comes from your loved ones.

So you see, I almost became another Bobby, but I'm still here today. I guess I survived those years because I chose not to think too much and just keep moving on. I'm just thankful that I've realized that what I believe to be the truth. I just hope that in time, God will guide her see the truth that is already in front of her. I hope that one day, I will be able to hear her say,"I love you and accept you no matter what you are".

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Interesting weekend

Last weekend was an interesting one, although it was quite tiring. It marked a lot of firsts for me. It was my first time...

1. ...taking the first class shuttle bus Aeroline to KL and back. They provide one meal (normal or vegetarian), drinks (water/coffee/tea), a toilet (for small business only), blankets, pillows, DVD movies on a medium flat screen TV and a hospitable steward(ess) who tends to your needs and makes sure that you're comfortable all the way. Aeroline buses in Malaysia are mostly double deckers and the passenger seating is on the upper level, while the lower level consists of the toilet, a sink and a lounge area when you can even plug in and work on you laptop. Plus, the seats had ample leg space and was comfortable enough to sleep in. Overall, I can safely say it's one of the best express bus I've taken, and I'll be taking it regularly when I go KL. For only RM 55, it was a bargain too!

2. ...peeing in a bus. Yes, it gets tricky maintaining your 'aim' when peeing in a moving bus, especially when it rocks.

3. ...attending the first PFLAG event in Malaysia. There was a movie screening for Prayers For Bobby. Predictably, I cried buckets especially towards the ending. Kudos to Sigourney Weaver's award-winning and tear-jerkering performance! The discussion after the movie was interesting as well. Although we were supposed to have conference with PFLAG US, we faced technical difficulties so we had to forego it. Instead, we discussed amongst ourselves on how to establish PFLAG in Malaysia, with the support of existing local LGBT support groups such as the PT foundation and LPG. The next PFLAG event might be held in Penang *fingers crossed*

4. ...stepping in Club 9 and the 6 Lounge (Club 69) where the event was held and met the manager Ramesh as well. Nice place with good ambience and lots of weekly events.

5. ...clubbing in Maison, after the event. Maison is located exactly opposite Club 69. Also good ambience and the music wasn't too bad. We were granted free entrance coz I was with people who knew people. I would've enjoyed it better, if I were not too tired and wearing a headache by then. Saw Craig Fong there too.

It was quite a tiring trip to KL, as I went on Sunday morning and and took the return bus on Monday morning. Sorry, I would've posted pictures, but I forgot to bring my camera -_-"

Friday, April 24, 2009

Confessions Of A Gay Guy


I've known that I'm gay for a long time now. About 10 years it seems. Even so, a small part of me has never truly accepted myself, nor made complete peace with that fact. Don't get me wrong, I've never had a problem about being gay. It's just that I still had some confusion and doubts about being the way that I am, lingering at the back of my mind.

Would things have turned out differently if my parents' relationship were not estranged?

Would I have turned out differently if my dad had taken better care of me and shown me proper fatherly love?

Am I really born gay, or did I choose this path early on in my life?

Am I really an abomination, as said by major beliefs and religions?

Am I angering God by being the way that I am?

Does God not love me because I'm gay?

Will I be thrown into the depths of hell when I die?
Is my existence a sin personified?

Am I really the unnatural, disgusting, immoral and perverted being as portrayed by religion?

Would I find myself going straight, getting married someday and raising a family of my own, as perceived as the 'right' thing to do by society?


As I watched the trailer for Prayers For Bobby and read some gay-related articles last week, I've hit some realizations, or affirmation as you might put it, that helped me fully accept and make peace with myself. Some of you might be surprised that I'm a God-fearing person, but I strongly believe that God exists and He watches over us everyday. After recent developments, I've come to realize that...

1. God loves me as I am. This realization is the most important to me, because it finally puts me at peace with myself as a gay person. If He is perfect and His creations are perfect, then He created me perfectly the way He wanted me to be and loves me as I am. It doesn't matter what we are, but it matters more what you do with your time here.

2. I am born the way I am. Even if the whole world shuns me, it will not change this fact. This is not a path or choice that I chose, NOR was it chosen for me by any circumstancial means in the early stages of my life. Furthermore, my first attraction to a boy happened when I hit puberty at 13, even before my parents became truly estranged.

3. There is nothing wrong with me and there is nothing to change. And that is the absolute TRUTH for me. I am gay and I am proud of it. I've never meant or done anything to hurt anyone by being gay. I'm just being myself, just as nature intended.


4. Being gay does NOT make me an abomination, a pervert or an immoral person, regardless what any majority, beliefs or religion says. I am just a normal person born with different sexual orientation but it does NOT define me as a person. My attitude, behavior and actions are what defines me as a person. Anyone, regardless of sexuality, is capable of being a pervert or immoral person.

5. I am equal and deserve similar rights as everyone else. I breathe and love, laugh and cry, hurt and bleed just like everybody else.

If you think that you know better just because you read from some 'book' or listened to a straight person who THINKS that they know more about gay people than gay people, THINK AGAIN! Go talk with a real gay person to understand us better.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

PFLAG has landed in Malaysia!

Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians & Gays (PFLAG) is a national non-profit organization with over 200,000 members and supporters and over 500 affiliates in the United States. This vast grassroots network is cultivated, resourced and serviced by the PFLAG national office, located in Washington, D.C., the national Board of Directors and 13 Regional Directors.

A Brief History
In 1972, Jeanne Manford started an international movement when she marched with her son Mortie in New York’s Gay Pride Parade. Enraged that her son had been beaten at a gay rights protest two months before while police did nothing, she carried a sign at the Pride march that said, “Parents of Gays: Unite in Support of Our Children.”


30 years later, PFLAG has grown to include more than 500 chapters nationwide, over 200,000 members, supporters, and affiliates, representing the largest chapter network in the struggle for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) rights.

The idea for PFLAG began in 1972 when Jeanne Manford marched with her gay son in New York's Pride Day parade. After many gay and lesbian people ran up to Jeanne during the parade and begged her to talk to their parents, she decided to begin a support group. The first formal meeting took place in March 1973 at a local church. Approximately 20 people attended.

In the next years, through word of mouth and in response to community need, similar groups sprang up around the country, offering "safe havens" and mutual support for parents with gay and lesbian children. Following the 1979 National March for Gay and Lesbian Rights, representatives from these groups met for the first time in Washington, D.C. Click to read more.

Vision and Mission
We, the parents, families and friends of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons, celebrate diversity and envision a society that embraces everyone, including those of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities. Only with respect, dignity and equality for all will we reach our full potential as human beings, individually and collectively. PFLAG welcomes the participation and support of all who share in, and hope to realize this vision.

PFLAG promotes the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons, their families and friends through: support, to cope with an adverse society; education, to enlighten an ill-informed public; and advocacy, to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity, and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity. Click to read more.

Official PFLAG Malaysia Support Group
The appointed founder for PFLAG Malaysia is spearheaded by Edwynn, a good friend of mine. If you have Facebook (if you don't have a Facebook account, go join the online social sensation and get one NOW!), go search PFLAG Malaysia to find our group. For any queries, feel free to send an email.

The first PFLAG event
Venue: Club 9 & the 6 Lounge (Opposite Maison KL)
Date: 26th April, 2009
Time: 9pm to 12am

Agenda:
9pm - Time to get your butts there.
9:10pm - Showcase of a movie. (YAY! We're watching a movie!)
11pm - Online conference and talk with people from PFLAG National US and also those who are involved in it.
12am - Meeting adjourned. (Linger around and talk to each other. "Party session")

All are welcome, please feel free to attend and support =)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Prayers For Bobby

I can't wait to see this movie. I'm currently waiting for the DVD release so that I can get it ASAP. It is a TRUE story about Mary Griffith, who lost her son due to her own ignorance and intolerance towards his sexual orientation, but later rose to become a gay rights crusader.

Full summary from IMDB:

In "Prayers for Bobby," Mary Griffith is a devout Christian who raises her children with the conservative teachings of the Presbyterian Church. However, when her son Bobby confides to his older brother he may be gay, life changes for the entire family after Mary learns about his secret. While Bobby's father and siblings slowly come to terms with his homosexuality, Mary believes God can cure him of what she considers his 'sin' and persuades Bobby to pray harder and seek solace in church activities in hopes of changing him. Desperate for his mother's approval, Bobby does what is asked of him, but through it all, the church's apparent disapproval of homosexuality causes him to grow increasingly withdrawn and depressed. Guilty over the pain he is causing Mary, Bobby moves away, yet hopes that some day his mother will accept him. His subsequent depression and self-loathing intensifies as he blames himself for not being the 'perfect' son and is driven to suicide. Faced with their tragedy, Mary begins to question her faith when she receives no answers from her pastor concerning her devastating loss. Through her long and emotional journey, Mary slowly reaches out to the gay community and discovers unexpected support from a very unlikely source. The film is based on the 1995 Leroy Aarons book of the same name.

Trailer:



I've seen the trailer a few times. And every time I do, I would end up in tears. A truly tragic, touching yet inspirational movie. It relates so much to me, and to a lot of you out there as well I'm sure. A mother's rejection really hurts...

And I love what the pastor said:

"I tell them what I believe to be the truth, that God loves them as they are"

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Lost Generation

This is so simple, yet ingenious.


This video was created for the AARP U@50 video contest and won second place. It is based on the Argentinian Political Advertisement "The Truth" by RECREAR, which is an excellent political advertisement that won the silver lion in the Cannes Lions Contest 2006.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Is My Life Going Anywhere?

Life feels pretty much stagnant and meaningless to me sometimes. Ever sit in your own room and wonder what should happen next or try to envision where your path in life leads to? Sometimes, I feel as if I'm not moving in any direction at all. It's like a sailor stranded in the middle of the lake, where there are no currents or even a slight breeze to help you move. Is life planning something for me along the way, or is it up to me to take the reins and whip the horses bearing my chariot and attempt to head down a direction I perceive is right for me? The situation as is, seems to me like unmoving waters in a murky swamp. Growing stagnant and ever more putrid with each passing day. God, I'm dramatic today, throwing metaphors into the wind. Currently, I don't seem to be improving any aspects of my life, nor am I spiraling downwards (thank GOD!).

Financially, my job pays just enough for me to survive. After all the damn bills, fuel payments, giving money to my dad, insurance and study loan payments, more than half my salary is gone. That doesn't even include money that I spend for myself, mostly for food and groceries. If I were to indulge in any shopping, my savings would be meager or none. That is why I NEVER go shopping, not even when I go traveling. Call me paranoid, but I believe in having some savings for a rainy day or in case any emergencies pop up along the way. I feel really insecure if my savings begin to dwindle, so I make sure this never happens. You never know when shit might hit the fan. Initially, I wanted to switch jobs in the first place to seek greener pastures, but due to this year's abysmal economic state, that plan is on-hold until further notice. For now, I'm just thankful that I still have a job, and will be until the hellish economy picks up it's imploded bits and pieces.

In terms of love life, as usual, it is non-existent. But, it has never existed in the first place. Not even with both my ex-es, since both relationships never lasted more than 3 months. I wouldn't call love in a relationship if the feelings weren't mutual enough. I have trouble finding someone who's right for me. Let me rephrase: I have trouble finding anyone that I like who has the slightest possibility of liking me back. The only person whom I would readily give my heart to doesn't want me, but that's another story. As I was saying, I have zero luck when it comes to finding relationships, whilst every single gay Tom, Dick and Harry that I know can find one so easily. A lot of the time, I think something must be wrong with me. Is there something that repels other people from me? It could be that my friends are much better looking than I am. So, when I'm with them, I'm probably overshadowed. It could be that most PLUs are too shallow, hence I don't stand a chance when it comes to first impressions. Yes, I would do anything to improve the way I look sometimes. If plastic surgery were cheap, I'd go for it. It's the truth. Yes, I know I have a great personality, but what's the use when they don't even give you a chance to know you better? That is when my better-looking brethen will shine. Courtship is like a game. Stage 1 is physical attraction. So, if you're better looking, you will wipe the floor with stage 1 and whoosh past to stage 2 (courtship) faster than you can say, "WTF?". Well, I'm sick and tired of being overshadowed, but I can't exactly blame anyone. It's human nature to be attracted to things that are beautiful and flawless. Why do you think I hate taking photos of myself? Coz I hate looking at them. When I take a picture in a group, the difference is so apparent.

Let me be honest here. Sometimes I think that it's virtually hopeless to try and improve my face. It seems irrepairable, but somehow, I still persevere in finding my golden egg. This is all in hope that one day I might actually look good close-up. I know my friends are very nice to me, but I know what most people are thinking. Those that don't know me well have said it bluntly, in different ways. And sadly, those words managed to reach me and it hurts like slicing my own face with a knife. It cuts deeper than you can imagine. Some of you reading this might think it's no big deal really, and that I'm being overly melodramatic or just feeling sorry for myself. But, I'm just being honest. I did start this blog to pen down my thoughts, emotions and perceptions. Deep down, I don't think I will give up trying to fix it anytime soon. But it just sucks at this point, ya know?

No, I'm not sliding back to that deep dark place. I know that I'm a great guy but just with less than average appearance. Therefore, I don't much chances of intriguing anyone's interest, compared with my better looking friends. This translates into very little chance of me ever finding a good relationship. The odds are looking bad right now, so I don't plan to gamble. Lately in fact, I haven't been bothered putting myself out there anymore. I can't see the point, and would rather prepare myself for the possibility of being alone for the rest of my life. Tired of feeling disappointed and dejected from being rejected, I will refrain from seeking anyone right now. I don't know when this will blow over, but for now, I think it's better that I'm alone. It's not like I have a choice anyway.

The irony of it all is that I really hope that I get to experience truly loving someone in this lifetime. I've been feeling extremely lonely since last weekend, even more so after clubbing. Hearing my friends talk about their new guys made me feel worse. It's the lonely feeling that you get, even when you're surrounded by people. I have NO idea what triggered it, but it just came along. I've been stuck with it for the whole of last week, and coupled with my current state of life, I've decided to release it here.

I feel a little better now...phew!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Amazing Trained Animal

OH MY GOD! This is so adorable XD

video

I'm not sure if this is a seal or walrus or what, but it's just amazing what it can do! So cute =)

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Biggest Loser


I discovered this reality show during my last years in Uni. The Biggest Loser takes extremely overweight individuals selected through auditions to eventually join the show and begin their weight loss journey. In the end, the person who loses the most weight wins a large cash prize, which is a huge motivator besides regaining your health, fitness, self confidence and resolving emotional issues throughout the show.

In The Biggest Loser America, contestants are aided by trainers Bob Harper and Jillian Micheals. In The Biggest Loser Australia, Shannan Ponton and Michelle Bridges are the trainers. Occasionally throughout the Australian show, The Commando makes an appearance to grill the contestants during training. Even Bob Harper and Jillian Micheals will make appearances and periodically join the rest of the trainers to help train the Australian contestants. I've only watched Season 1 (2006)-3 (2008) of Australia's version so far.

How it works:
Confirmed contestants will be brought into a controlled environment, called the White House, where they will remain for 12 weeks. Once there, they will go for an initial weigh-in wearing very light clothing to make their inital starting weight. Guys will only wear shorts, girls will wear shorts and tops and this will happen at every weigh-in. The weigh-in will be done in the presence of everyone and in front of the whole of Australia, so there is NOWHERE to hide. During the course of the show, contestants will be educated on nutrition, exercise and fitness and trained really, REALLY hard by the personal trainers.

Contestants are usually split into 2 competing teams. Weekly weigh-ins will be done and each contestant will be eliminated based on how little they lost. Hence, everyone will want to push as hard as they can and try to lose as much as possible each week, hence the term 'biggest loser'. They will also face weekly challenges (which are VERY GRUELLING!), so you can imagine how it would affect the team when losing one member. The format in each season changes slightly, but there are many twists in the game. Here's a sample preview from Season 3:



What I like:- it teaches the contestants proper nutrition, workout and ultimately change their lives. The key to successful fat loss and maintaining a healthy weight is a lifestyle change, which is sustainable long term.

- it preaches that the BEST way to lose fat and look great is by both good diet/nutrition and exercise. NOT any fad or crash dieting with no exercise (I still see many people doing this!).

- the show not only addresses physical and health issues, but recognizes the need to resolve the mental and emotional problems, as well as bad habits, which are usually the root cause for a person gaining so much weight. It helps each contestant deal with uncontrolled and bad eating habits, emotional eating due to loss of a loved one, very low self-esteem (I was a victim of this), depression, insecurities etc. This is one of the reasons why I loved this show so much, because it REALLY relates to me, although I was never borderline obese, but I suffered from depression and very low self-esteem in the past.

- it teaches them discipline, helps them believe in themselves and push themselves past they own perceived limits. The only limits you have are the ones you put on yourself.

What I don't like:
- the amount of exercise they do daily is unrealistic and not sustainable long term. It's reported that they work out about 4-6 hours A DAY! Even if it's only short term (12 weeks) and they can easily fall back to 1-2 hours a day after that, it's still a ridiculous amount unless you're an athlete with a specific nutrition and training program. A normal individual does NOT have that much time daily to work out. Furthermore, you really risk over-training and injury, which is why the paramedics and medical team are always available on site in case anything happens. Some contestants have even been sent to the hospital before!

- some trainers advocate restrictions to certain favourite foods. DON'T get me wrong, I'm ALL FOR healthy eating, but enjoying some chocolate, a slice of cake, some pizza or ice cream occasionally feels good to me, as long as 80-90% of what I eat are wholesome, healthy foods. I don't like it when certain eliminated contestants say that they have never touched any chocolate or [insert favorite food here] since they left. If they didn't feel like eating any, it's TOTALLY fine. But if they want to but restrict themselves, it will pose a problem in the future. Eventually, they might crumble psychologically and go on a binge. The key is moderation, NOT deprivation. Have a couple of slices of pizza, NOT the whole pizza. Eat a quarter bar of chocolate, NOT polish off a whole bar. It's all about self-control, you get my drift?

- the show uses the term weight loss instead of fat loss (which would be a better goal). Weight loss can come from water, lean muscle or fat. A person who is overweight tends to hold a lot of water, which is usually the first thing to go when adding exercise and following a proper diet. So, it's no surprise that the weight loss on the first week's weigh-in went through the roof! I'm just guessing that the weight loss mechanism is used as it's the easiest to measure, but it's hardly an optimal result. Fat loss would definitely be better.

Overall:
I still love this show and look forward to watching Season 4. Watching each episode as everyone fights and struggles physically, emotionally and mentally to change themselves is so heartfelt and inspiring. Sometimes, I cheer and cry with them. Like I said, I can definitely relate =)

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Next Course of Action


It's been rather interesting since I posted my topless photos in Facebook. I actually considered it several times before doing it. The reason being Facebook is EXTREMELY public and everyone will be able to see it, whether I like it or not. As much as I acknowledge how far I've come, I'm still kinda self conscious. Furthermore, I wouldn't wanna mislead people into thinking that I'm doing it to seek attention, dates or anything like that. I just want to show people that hard work pays off. I wanna show people that change IS possible if you want it badly enough. I want to point out that the only limits you have are the ones you put on yourself. The encouragements and good remarks I got were inspiring, thank you very much. I also got a few mixed responses that I would treat as constructive criticism, instead of a negative feedback.


A few people said that that I needed to do something about my face (I'm assuming they meant the acne!), so I will. No, I'm not talking something as drastic as plastic surgery. A good friend of mine has kindly agreed to help me on this. His younger
sisterbrother had acne issues in the past, but now
shehe looks great, thanks to a personal friend of his, who is a dermatologist. According to him, his friend doesn't charge much and is pretty good at what he does. No harm trying, right? I will refrain from ANY beauticians who'll try to shave off years of my life in an acne extraction session. Not only is it as agonizing as a NAZI TORTURE session, it's very much detrimental for my skin. I get a lot more blemishes and breakouts after that. Aside from fixing my acne, I'm looking to soften the scars on my face.


As for my training, I need to tone it down a little. Feeling pain in my joints due to added volume that I'm not accustomed to. It would suck big time if I sustained an injury. For the record, I absolutely HATE falling sick or getting injury. I'd feel so weak and incapacitated, not being able to do anything. You might say that I'm somewhat a hypochodriac as well. Any hint of sickness or injury and I'd already be taking steps to prevent it. No point getting the whole dreadful package when you can kill the mailman before he arrives! I might go back to my usual training program since I was getting results from it anyway and I like that there was more room for variation and flexibility. What I'm doing now is kinda monotonous and feeling a little bored right now. I think those were the reasons I avoided or couldn't stay on a split program for long in the first place. I'll see how it goes.


Overall, this year has been good to me so far, despite the economic slump and our new and VERY QUESTIONABLE Prime Minister!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Jai Hoooooooo!

This song is SO hot, hot, HOOOT! Jai Ho is actually the soundtrack from the award-winning movie Slumdog Millionaire, that won 8 Oscar nominations and it's catching the world by storm. The Pussycat Dolls took the original Hindi version and made it in English. I totally love the new rendition by The Pussycat Dolls! So sexy, hot and upbeat! This is gonna be the hottest song to hit the clubbing scene soon.



I can't resist shaking any part that I can shake listening to this! I REALLY hope they play this song when I go club tomorrow!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Mundane Life

Lately, my life has been a little mundane. Just a series of routines repeating themselves over and over. After work on weekdays, I would take a nap before going to the gym, come back, have my dinner and immerse myself in the awesomest game that is World of Warcraft (WOW), or I would just have my dinner early and WOW my brains out until it was time to sleep on non-workout days.

On weekends, I would eat and WOW as soon as I woke up, before I went for my workout, come back, eat and the WOW somemore. It seems like every free minute is dedicated to WOW. Sometimes, I'd have to literally PRY myself off the computer. I sleep MUCH LATER than I should on weekdays AND weekends, which is not healthy and NOT helping my curb my irregular sleeping hours neither. Plus, I'm training a lot so I need sufficient hours in slumberland. To add to that, it ain't good for my complexion neither.

WOW is taking up more than 50% of my life, and I need to get back out there. Sometimes I'd skip chores and going out, just to numb my eyes and ass and risk cramping my fingers in front of the PC for hours. I knew this would happen if the game was addictive, but I don't even feel guilty about it. WOW does help keep me occupied. Well, maybe a little TOO occupied and the time isn't exactly spent productively. Having said that, it does make me happy and excited playing it, so I'm not gonna complain. Just need to regulate the addicted gamer side in me.

To break out of this vicious cycle of endless gaming and blocking out real life, I'll be going clubbing this weekend at Momo. Then, I'll be going clubbing in KL next weekend (hopefully, my schedule is free enough). Also, I really miss all my gal pals (girls and PLUs) in KL

XD